Survivor Archives

Here are the results of Spookymilk Survivor seasons V-VIII and X (creative writing), and I, II & IX (variety). After the challenge title you’ll see the name of the person who came up with the idea for the challenge, or at least the person who decided to steal the challenge from somewhere else and put it into this game (full disclosure: I’m guessing on some).

You’ll notice that up until Survivor VI, there will be some stuff missing, like pictures and multimedia. In these cases, the players have pulled them and I have no way of getting you to them. Sorry about that.

SURVIVOR I
June-October, 2006
Variety
Judge: Kelly Wells

Survivor I was something I conceived while playing kickball at (can’t remember the name…starts with B) Park in Minneapolis. Immediately, a lot of my teammates were into it. Looking back, people were not doing well with the whole alliance thing, a full three(!) people quit, including a person who only had a single challenge left in the game, and I certainly hadn’t learned to create my better challenges yet. Still, it was a blast, and the two people I predicted to be there at the end were there at the end, and the most obsessed person won. Good for her.

KAWK: Candace Berge, Rachel Flynn, Samantha Fronek, Tanya Laumann, Josh Mitchell, Danielle Siver, Colleen Somerville, Oliver Thrun

Monkey Afterbirth: Kelly Jo Ernst, Carilyn Fukura, Bobby Gardner, Peter Maloney, Kelly Pantzlaff, Ben Thietje, Matt Urberg, Catherine Wells

Teams Revealed
Challenge: Twins on Time (spookymilk; I apologize for this one)
Results: Twins on Time
Elimination 1
Challenge: Movie List (spookymilk; again, apologies)
Results: Movie List
Elimination 2, Challenge: Create a Challenge (spookymilk)
Results: Create a Challenge
Elimination 3, Challenge: Know Your Enemy (spookymilk)
Results: Know Your Enemy
Elimination 4, Challenge: Fiction 59 (spookymilk)
Results: Fiction 59
Elimination 5, Challenge: TV List (spookymilk…ugh)
Bonus Immunity: Bacon to Peterman
Results: TV List
Elimination 6, Challenge: Endurance Ladder (spookymilk)
Endurance Ladder Questions
Results: Endurance Ladder
Elimination 7, Challenge: Happy Gram (spookymilk)
Elimination 8
Results: Happy Gram
Elimination 9, Challenge: Make Kelly Horny in 100 Words or Less (Peter Maloney)
Results: Make Kelly Horny in 100 Words or Less
Elimination 10, Challenge: No Limit Hold ‘Em
Results: No Limit Hold ‘Em, Elimination 11
Pre-Challenge: Letterboxes
Challenge: Letterboxes (spookymilk)
Results: Letterboxes
Elimination 12
Challenge: Photo Scavenger Hunt (spookymilk)
Results: Photo Scavenger Hunt, Elimination 13
Final Challenge: 1000 Words, Part III (spookymilk)
Final Challenge Results: 1000 Words, Part III
Elimination 14
And the Winner Is…

SURVIVOR II
March-June, 2007
Variety/Conceptual
Judge: Kelly Wells

Survivor II didn’t hold up to the first in some ways; there were tons of non-submission problems that I hadn’t yet figured out how to deal with. The game was a bust until there were seven people left, but then one cocky player emailed me and said “Watch me do this. Here are the finishes of all seven remaining players, and who they’ll vote for.” Bastard was right about all of them. It was a thing of beauty.

The Empirical Joneses: Sarah Bergervoet, Alexandra Erdahl, David Erdahl, Kelly Jo Ernst, Kyle Mitchell

Grandparents of Ernest Borgnine: Angela Bierly, Leif Bierly, Jon Mullaly, Oliver Thrun, Perry Thrun

Marvin: Rachel Flynn, Ryan Fossum, Tara Kinney, Josh Mitchell, John Youker

SURVIVOR V
Writing/Conceptual
January-April, 2009
Judges: Kelly Wells, Ben Thietje

Survivor V was a good one. Participation sucked early on, but the top ten were great, and the top six or seven looked like an All-Star game. Three former winners were in the top six, and two others had nearly won. The first-timer, though, cut through them like a knife through hot butter with his filthy fucking mind. Ben Thietje signed on as a co-judge, and like a retard, he missed the first challenge so I had to cover for him.

Do I Have to Read What Todd Writes??: Katie Driscoll, Rachel Flynn, Samantha Fronek, Jason Harber, Andy Rustleund, Colin Woolston

Donkey Pantaloons: Sarah Bizek, Stacey Ellerbroek, Scotte Hoerle, Patrick McIntyre, John Youker

The James Earl Jones Fan Club: Jennifer Bindner, Kelly Jo Ernst, Rusty Greene, Chadbourne Hamblin, Todd Karner

Lake Tahoe Dancing Kenyans: Andy Baker, Christian Bell, Rachel Dwyer, Ryan Fossum, Patrick Kozicky, Josh Mitchell

SURVIVOR VI
February-April, 2010
Writing/Conceptual
Judges: Kelly Wells, Ben Thietje

Survivor VI was a weird one. I had sixteen players, but I was so used to having lots of teams by that point, I made the crummy decision to make them into four teams and eliminate two people a week until the merge. Still, the top seven or so was intriguing, as one dude sold out his team, who didn’t know he had an existing relationship with other players. Sadly, one of the three finalists couldn’t finish his final challenge and one couldn’t even start it, so the season ended with a whimper. For the second season, Ben Thietje was co-judge. For the second time, he missed the first challenge.

Nuzzling Nancy’s Pelosi: Dean Carlson, Roman Feeser, Rusty Greene, Andy Rustleund

Obi-Ama Canoles: Andy Baker, Kelly Jo Ernst, Katie Hamblin, Josh Mitchell

Pussy Perusers: Leif Bierly, Sarah Bizek, Joe Rice, Colin Woolston

Taciturn Tektites: Chadbourne Hamblin, Jason Harber, Brooks Maki, Beau

Challenge: Fiction 59 (Monte Williams)
Results: Fiction 59: Kelly’s Half
Results: Fiction 59: “Ben’s” Half
Eliminations 1, 2; Challenge: Captions (Ben Thietje)
Results: Captions: Kelly’s Half
Results: Captions: Ben’s Half
Eliminations 3, 4; Challenge: Twenty Questions (spookymilk)
Results: Twenty Questions: Ben’s Half
Results: Twenty Questions: Kelly’s Half
Eliminations 5, 6; Challenge: Create a Challenge (spookymilk)
Results: Create a Challenge
Elimination 7, Challenge: Six-Word Evaluations (Kenneth Brandt)
Results: Six-Word Evaluations
Elimination 8, Challenge: Book Jacket (spookymilk)
Results: Book Jacket
Elimination 9, Challenge: Fortunately, Unfortunately (Ryan Fossum)
Results: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Elimination 10, Challenge: Inappropriate Elementary School Play (Cathy Wells)
Results: Inappropriate Elementary School Play
Elimination 11, Challenge: Vague Classified Ad (spookymilk)
Results: Vague Classified Ad
Elimination 12, Challenge: The Onion (Ben Thietje/spookymilk)
Results: The Onion
Elimination 13, Final Challenge: Fakebook (Rusty Greene)
Elimination 14
Final Challenge Results

SURVIVOR VII
May-November, 2010
Writing
Judges: Kelly Wells, Beau

Survivor VII featured 21 friends of mine from a blog community of dudes obsessed with the Minnesota Twins. Non-submissions were rare and the talent level was well balanced. Unfortunately, but hilariously, one team had an eight-week run that has to be read to be believed. The endgame saw some shenanigans, followed by one last non-submission that changed the course of the finish and paved the way for the winner. Beau signed on as my co-judge.

Nick Punto’s Fury: Geoff Beckstrom, Kenneth “SBG” Brandt, Sean Kelly, Ryan “UncleWalt” Kaatz, Joseph “punmanbowler” Rakstad, Michael “frightwig” St. John, “The Dread Pirate” Will Young

Vindictive Voiceless Vagrants: Tedd “FirstTimeLongTime” Getman, Dan “DK” Kautz, Brooks “Big Mak/Daneeka’s Ghost” Maki, Eric “eschapp/yickit” Schapp, William “CarterHayes” Schuth, Erik “hungry joe” Sundberg, Rob Zenk

The Winner Group: Eric “B.B.” Billings, Peter “nibbish” Bruzek, David “Rhubarb_Runner” Larson, Andrew (Anonymous), Ian “New Guy” Pratt, Zack Sauvageau, Brendon “GreekHouse” Stanton

Teams Revealed
Challenge: Fiction 59 (Monte Williams)
Results: Fiction 59
Elimination 1, Challenge: 20 Questions (spookymilk)
Results: 20 Questions
Elimination 2
Challenge: Letter of Resignation (Beau)
Results: Letter of Resignation
Elimination 3
Challenge: What was that You Asked? (Beau)
Results: What was that You Asked?
Elimination 4
Challenge: Bantam Bulwyr (Beau)
Results: Bantam Bulwyr
Elimination 5
Challenge: Create a Challenge (spookymilk)
Results: Create a Challenge
Non-Elimination 6
Challenge: Surprise Eulogy (spookymilk)
Results: Surprise Eulogy
Elimination 6
Challenge: Warning Label (spookymilk)
Results: Warning Label
Elimination 7
Challenge: Six-Word Evaluations (Beau)
Results: Six-Word Evaluations
Elimination 8
Challenge: Fortunately, Unfortunately (Ryan Fossum)
Results: Fortunately, Unfortunately (Beau’s half)
Results: Fortunately, Unfortunately (Kelly’s half)
Elimination 9
Challenge: Video Game Pitch (spookymilk)
Results: Video Game Pitch (Kelly’s half)
Results: Video Game Pitch (Beau’s half)
Elimination 10
Challenge: Advice Column (Beau)
Results: Advice Column (Kelly’s half)
Results: Advice Column (Beau’s half)
Elimination 11
Challenge: Road Trip Spin (spookymilk)
Results: Road Trip Spin
Challenge 12
Challenge: Meeting of the Mimes (spookymilk)
Results: Meeting of the Mimes
Elimination 13
Challenge: Interrogation (Beau)
Results: Interrogation
Elimination 14
Challenge: Genre Swap (spookymilk)
Results: Genre Swap
Elimination 15
Challenge: Describe the Sensation (Wyl Schuth)
Results: Describe the Sensation
Elimination 16
Challenge: Children’s Book Extrapolation (Beau)
Results: Children’s Book Extrapolation
Elimination 17
Challenge: Rashomon (spookymilk)
Results: Rashomon
Voting Results, Tiebreaker Challenge: Fiction 59 (spookymilk)
Tiebreaker Results: Fiction 59
Elimination 18
Challenge: Toynbee (Brooks Maki)
Results: Toynbee, and top three finishers revealed

SURVIVOR VIII
January-June, 2011
Writing
Judges: Kelly Wells, Beau

Though marred by a couple of weird moments and a whole lot of non-submissions, Survivor VIII ended up being a damned good season that kept me guessing until the end. Four of the top seven finishers had finished in the top seven in the last two seasons, but two of the three finalists were playing for the first time and all three finalists were fantastic in the final challenge, driving the judges crazy, though it’s a nice problem to have. Beau was my co-judge again.

Dark Stormy Knights: Nathan Bahls, Peter Bruzek, Dave Johnson, Tanya Laumann, Tom Morgan, Ryan Sorrell, Ben Thietje

Likes Bacon: Sarah Bizek, Tara Kinney, Sam Landman, Josh Mitchell, Ian Pratt, Joseph Rakstad, Scott Stearley

Spawn of Steinbeck: Shawn Ashley, Dean Carlson, Drew Geraets, Dan Kautz, Brooks Maki, Matt Novak, John Youker

Teams Revealed
Challenge: Fiction 59 (Monte Williams)
Results: Fiction 59
Challenge: Bantam Bulwyr (Beau)
Results: Bantam Bulwyr
Challenge: Second Opinion Nursery Rhymes (spookymilk)
Results: Second Opinion Nursery Rhymes, Eliminations 1 and 2
Challenge: What was that You Asked? (Beau)
Results: What was that You Asked?
Elimination 3
Challenge: Dewey Defeats Truman (spookymilk)
Results: Dewey Defeats Truman
Elimination 4
Challenge: Create a Challenge (spookymilk)
Results: Create a Challenge
Elimination 5, for now
Challenge: Grab Bag (spookymilk, and everyone listed)
Elimination 6, sort of
Results: Grab Bag
Elimination 6, for real this time
Challenge: Punch to a Quick End (Tanya Laumann)
Results: Punch to a Quick End
Challenge: Letter of Resignation (Beau)
Results: Letter of Resignation
Elimination 8
Challenge: Seemingly Useless Superpower (spookymilk)
Results: Seemingly Useless Superpower
Elimination 9
Challenge: You’re So Vain (spookymilk)
Results: You’re So Vain
Elimination 10
Challenge: Fortunately, Unfortunately (Ryan Fossum)
Results: Fortunately, Unfortunately: Kelly’s half
Results: Fortunately, Unfortunately: Beau’s half
Elimination 11
Challenge: No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Die (spookymilk)
No, Mr. Bond, I Expect You to Die results and Elimination 12
Optional Challenges: 20 Questions, Downfall (spookymilk, Dean Carlson)
Results: Downfall
Results: 20 Questions
Challenge: Meeting of the Mimes (spookymilk)
Results: Meeting of the Mimes
Elimination 13
Challenge: I Said Lunch, Not Launch (spookymilk)
Results: I Said Lunch, Not Launch
Elimination 14
Challenge: Myth Mash-Up (Dave Johnson)
Results: Myth Mash-Up
Elimination 15
Challenge: MacGyver (Ryan Sorrell)
Results: MacGyver
Elimination 16
Challenge: Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (Dan Kautz)
Results: Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
Elimination 17
Challenge: Machine of Death (I borrowed it from These dudes)
Results: Machine of Death
Elimination 18
Final Challenge: Dirty Harry (Brooks Maki)
Results: Dirty Harry, and top three finishers revealed
Postgame discussion about the season’s challenges

SURVIVOR IX
July 2011 – September 2011
Strategy/Variety
Judge: Kelly Wells, and Beau helped with a couple of writing-based challenges

Survivor IX was the first game ever to feature no previous winners (well, besides the first) and non-submissions killed the thing dead to open; however, unpredictable alliances made it good watchin’ for myself and others. Our post-merge game was incredible, as we saw the first-ever save as the result of a Hidden Immunity Idol and a series of clever plays leading to an unlikely but very deserving winner. Perhaps the best game ever.

Spy Tag: Geoff Beckstrom, JG Berwald, Zillah Glory, Dana Hazen, Josh Mitchell, Andy Rustleund, Zack Sauvageau, Will Young

Ugly Juanita: Sarah Bizek, Peter Bruzek, Rachel Dwyer, Bret Highum, Jon Mullaly, Erik Sundberg, Ben Thietje, Colin Woolston

SURVIVOR X
October 2011 – March 2012
Writing
Judges: Kelly Wells, Dan Kautz

Survivor X was a writing season with an embarrassment of talent. Unfortunately, participation was at first embarrassing too. We lost the first ten people (a new record!) as the result of non-submissions, and since there was always exactly one non-submitter per team, the voting was academic and unnecessary. Strategy was utilized, but it generally resulted in people getting voted out by a large majority, so there wasn’t a lot of tension for viewers. Although it was one of the worst seasons of “Survivor,” it’s the best season we ever had for writing, and the post-merge group was full of all-time greats.

SPOILER ALERT!: Shawn Ashley, Leif Bierly, Dean Carlson, Jake Elliott, Ryan Fossum, Zillah Glory, David Larson, Colin Woolston

nibbish and his Vogons: JG Berwald, Peter Bruzek, Patrick Kozicky, Brooks Maki, Matt Novak, Zack Sauvageau, Beau, John Wreisner

I’m with Stupid: Don Campbell, Bret Highum, Ben Johnson, Sean Kelly, Josh Mitchell, Tom Morgan, Andy Rustleund, Will Young

TURBO SURVIVOR I
March 2012 – Present
Short Writing
Judges: Beau, Dan Kautz, Stef Briggs

Beau created an alternate way to play writing Survivor that’s so brilliant but beautiful in its simplicity that I’m a little annoyed that I didn’t come up with it. He also came up with the medal system, which is awesome.

For turbo seasons, half-weeks are all the players get, but they email Beau at their leisure to get the challenge parameters and then have 15-80 minutes to complete it.

We just lost our tenth person, and this game has already been one to remember, with just two total non-submissions, a meltdown, a shocking elimination, and a couple more meltdowns as part of a bizarre judging “controversy.”

Voting has been a tad less exciting, as three non-subs, five people requesting their own elimination, one guy being the last on his team and one person forgetting the vote to get eliminated have been responsible for the second through eleventh eliminations.

For the first time, I’m playing instead of judging. Also for the first time, there’s a female judge. What misogynist dick has been running this thing up until now, anyway?

The Breviteurs
Shawn Ashley, Sarah Bizek, Don Campbell, Zack Sauvageau, Ryan Sorrell, Erik Sundberg

The Supreme Fighting Hero Force League, With Lasers
Cory Funk, Sarah Johnson, Tanya Laumann, Brooks Maki, Kelly Wells, Will Young

The Submitters
Geoff Beckstrom, Rose Devitt, Tom Morgan, AMR, Brendon Stanton, Colin Woolston

The Corporate Sponsorshippers
Peter Bruzek, Erik Dikken, Matthew Gilman, Bret Highum, Miriam Metwaly, Peggy Sorrell

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2 comments

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July 18, 2011 at 12:09 pm

nibbish

Well, today WAS a constructive day until I noticed this about an hour ago.

July 18, 2011 at 12:27 pm

spookymilk

Heh heh. You’re welcome.

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