HALL OF CHAMPIONS
SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR
I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn
II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum
III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky
IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner
V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene
VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki
VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth
VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki
IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau
X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek
Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki
XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak
All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund
XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek
XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz
XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper
XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak
XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell
XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David
XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron
XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette
XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek
XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz
XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David
XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell
GODS AND MORTALS
I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt
BIG BROTHER
I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott
FALL, CAESAR
2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron
THE ROYAL RUMBLE
2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott
PLAY WITH THE PROSE
(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron
WEREWOLF (most recent)
Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet
PUZZLE CHALLENGE
I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells
DIPLOMACY
I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)
Casa de Leche 
24 comments
Comments feed for this article
September 6, 2010 at 12:43 pm
eahnpurato
Well, what can I say. I’m pretty disappointed that I didn’t get any further, especially since I have a flippin’ degree in creative writing. But that’s more just frustration with having to face the inherent uselessness of my degree (if it ain’t good for Spookymilk Survivor, what the hell is it good for?). But I guess by not strictly following the rules of the challenge I really marked myself for elimination. I dunno. I never really felt that my particular skillset matched up that well with this competition.
September 6, 2010 at 12:47 pm
spookymilk
And I thought it did match up, frankly. I’m bummed that your game is over, but at this point of the game I always lose people who are a big threat to win (in the six previous games, I’d say the very best writer won maybe just once; it’s always someone good but almost never the best. I’m not saying you were the best outright, but…come on, it’s pretty obvious you’re right there).
Anyway, because of the previous games, I sort of saw this coming.
September 6, 2010 at 1:13 pm
eahnpurato
Well I mean that my best talents are in the actual craft of writing, in the subtleties of developing character and telling a story. This was often more about coming up with the cleverest concepts and the funniest jokes, and not necessarily about the writing itself. Which is great, because it opens up the competition for all of the people who didn’t spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on learning how to write short stories.
September 6, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Rhubarb_Runner
Some of us were able to snatch the pebble from the master’s hand because he was distracted by the drool out of the corners of our mouths.
September 6, 2010 at 2:27 pm
spookymilk
Yeah, that’s fair. Your writing was always clearly awesome, even when it didn’t pop in some way like that of some others. I’ll tell you this: although I judge these anonymously, I almost always knew which one was yours. (I mean this as a huge compliment)
Concepts are always going to be huge to a guy like me who’s searching for concepts to write all the time. I’ll add, too, that I always knew which stories were written better at their core, even if I couldn’t give them high scores under the parameters of the challenge.
In short (too late), I’ll say it again: the game will always be imperfect, especially since it gets to the point that strong writers are eventually voted out because they’re so good, after the first leg of the competition has allowed them to stick around for just that reason. I actually almost made a last-minute change and thought about sticking with the teams all the way until there was just one team left to avoid that.
September 6, 2010 at 3:18 pm
dekautz
Wow, I’m glad you didn’t decide to do that. That would’ve killed most of the potential for any interesting strategizing for most of the game.
September 6, 2010 at 3:21 pm
spookymilk
It was a quick moment of thinking I didn’t want to think about anything but the writing, but I really would have missed the other aspect of the game. I was still thinking about it when the votes were rolling in this time, but a couple of the New Guy votes were only cast because of his being a threat, so I couldn’t very well change it anymore.
September 6, 2010 at 1:43 pm
dekautz
You know as well as I do that in any version of Survivor, if being the best at winning challenges was all it took to win the game, people like Rupert and Probst’s mancrushes Colby and Ozzy would win every time, instead of almost never.
September 6, 2010 at 3:22 pm
spookymilk
Ozzy was awesome…he just ran into Jun, one of the best players ever, I thought.
September 6, 2010 at 3:31 pm
dekautz
You mean Yul, and I agree, he was one of the very best. Supposedly he was too boring or something for them to bring back for the last All-Stars, though.
September 6, 2010 at 3:32 pm
spookymilk
Yul. Damn, I knew that felt just a bit wrong.
He was also successful in real life, as I remember. Maybe he turned it down…? You’d think they’d want the winner of one of the best seasons of all time.
September 6, 2010 at 3:36 pm
dekautz
I just looked him up and found out he’s been a Deputy Chief at the FCC for almost a year, so yeah…I suppose he’s been fairly successful. I had thought I read last year that he was part of the initial group of 50 the producers picked out before the final cuts, but in retrospect I guess it wasn’t clear whether they cut him at that point or if he declined the chance. He would have fit in pretty well to the Hero concept, at least.
September 6, 2010 at 3:38 pm
dekautz
On the other hand, I do know for sure that Shane Powers from the first Exile Island season was definitely going to be in it until he was cut at the last minute so they could bring Russell back. I heard Shane wasn’t too happy about that.
September 7, 2010 at 9:15 am
greekhouse
Anybody who has watched enough Survivor and understands what’s going on will realize that it takes a good deal of luck to win the thing. All the best players can do to try and win is to keep themselves in a position where they’re unlikely to get voted out. I’ve often wondered, out of a game that starts with 16 people, how often could the best player actually win? My guess is probably about 1 out of 8 times.
September 6, 2010 at 2:01 pm
daneekasghost
I’d say the very best writer won maybe just once
Aw shucks, spooky, you’re embarrassing me.
September 6, 2010 at 2:28 pm
spookymilk
I actually meant you, sort of. There was you, Rusty and Roman last time, and Patrick, Cory and Ben in the third game. You and Patrick were in the conversation for the best in the game and you won. I figured between those two, it had to have happened once.
September 6, 2010 at 3:02 pm
daneekasghost
Whoops. Self-deprecating humor backfires again. I swear I wasn’t fishing for a compliment with that.
Anyway, while I’m not sure I saw it that way, it’s very nice of you to say so.
September 6, 2010 at 3:09 pm
spookymilk
What’s weird is that your stuff has been so much better this time, and that’s coloring how I feel about the last one. I mean, you were very good then, but…man, it’s all firing this time around.
Oh, snap, I didn’t even think of Rusty winning Survivor V. That was the one time the obvious best writer was the winner.
September 6, 2010 at 7:54 pm
nibbish
Spooky wouldn’t say it, but I will. New Guy was my favorite writer here. If I look over my top 5 or 6 favorite picks, I’d say he probably has 4 of them. Last week’s was brilliant again.
On the other hand, I’m really having fun doing these, even if they’re not quite up to those lofty standards. It sucks, but in the end, I want to keep doing them, so I can’t just roll over.
September 7, 2010 at 9:11 am
greekhouse
I dunno, I’d say that my last entry qualifies as dark humor rather than shock humor. I don’t have a degree in anything related to writing. In fact, the last time I did any creative writing was during my freshman writing seminar in college (about 12 years ago!?). I feel like I’ve actually held my own pretty well, considering the stiff competition and have shown significant growth since the beginning.
September 7, 2010 at 11:13 am
spookymilk
Although you’ve done some shock humor, I agree that this one didn’t really fit that bill. I also agree that you’ve shown significant growth…both you and rob have done things in the past few weeks that I wouldn’t have seen coming in the beginning.
September 7, 2010 at 1:14 pm
greekhouse
It’s helps that I’ve been reading a lot of good stuff here. That has definitely helped me become a better writer. 🙂
September 7, 2010 at 8:05 pm
eahnpurato
Yeah I wasn’t just referring to this week’s entry (obviously it was my vote), which I thought was done well with a fair amount of restraint. But I had to come up with a reason to vote for somebody, right? I also think you’ve done a great job in the competition.
September 7, 2010 at 8:07 pm
greekhouse
Thanks, New Guy. 🙂