HALL OF CHAMPIONS
SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR
I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn
II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum
III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky
IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner
V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene
VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki
VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth
VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki
IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau
X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek
Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki
XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak
All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund
XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek
XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz
XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper
XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak
XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell
XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David
XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron
XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette
XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek
XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz
XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David
XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell
GODS AND MORTALS
I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt
BIG BROTHER
I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott
FALL, CAESAR
2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron
THE ROYAL RUMBLE
2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott
PLAY WITH THE PROSE
(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron
WEREWOLF (most recent)
Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet
PUZZLE CHALLENGE
I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells
DIPLOMACY
I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)
Casa de Leche 
36 comments
Comments feed for this article
March 7, 2012 at 8:25 pm
The Dread Pirate
The two player spreadsheets seem to be the same. Also, my performance this game was apparently completely average. Any chance of adding standard deviation.
March 7, 2012 at 8:30 pm
spookymilk
Fixed the first link.
March 7, 2012 at 8:29 pm
arustleund
You should be tracking place divided by how many players and ranking that way. Finishing 4th in a season of 24 is better than finishing 3rd in a season of 8, for instance.
March 7, 2012 at 8:32 pm
spookymilk
I think there comes a point of caring too much…
If someone else felt like doing this, I wouldn’t cry, but since there are no seasons of 8 (the smallest was 15) it probably isn’t a huge deal.
March 7, 2012 at 9:02 pm
arustleund
If there was such a point, you reached it long ago my friend!
A more reasonable example: finishing 9th in a season of 24 is the same as finishing 6th in a season of 16.
Fractions! They’re not just for 4th graders!
P.S. I am a spreadsheet nerd
March 7, 2012 at 9:06 pm
daneekasghost
you’re among friends, then.
March 7, 2012 at 9:15 pm
spookymilk
Oh, I get what you’re saying and it would be easy to do, but I won’t be the one doing it, because I fundamentally disagree that these mathematical equals mean the same thing. Once this game reaches the merge, this game always plays out in a similar way, and 6th place is 6th place. Getting 24th because you’re in a huge season and fail to show is probably different from doing the same thing in a game of 16, but they’re nonsubs, so fuck ’em.
March 7, 2012 at 9:06 pm
mbnovak
I’m sad that Dark Stormy Knights isn’t higher.
March 7, 2012 at 9:17 pm
spookymilk
Really? Your comment is that my 5th favorite out of 31 should be even higher? I obviously love it.
March 7, 2012 at 9:51 pm
adobery
See, where Matt strives for first place, I’m just thrilled to be fifth since I had a hand in it. You know he’s right though, Spooky. It should be higher. He’s right (please for all of our sakes just say he’s right, Spooky).
March 7, 2012 at 9:57 pm
adobery
…and to be picky…I’m the one who recruited Tom.
March 7, 2012 at 10:03 pm
spookymilk
See, now this is the kind of minutiae I need to know about.
March 7, 2012 at 10:05 pm
spookymilk
If he thinks that it or anything, ever, has a chance against “Grandparents of Ernest Borgnine,” he is sadly mistaken.
March 7, 2012 at 10:12 pm
mbnovak
That’s awesome, I admit. But the reference of DSK is just artistic in its beauty.
March 7, 2012 at 10:17 pm
spookymilk
Artistic? Eh, it’s pretty straightforward. It also references one of the worst passages ever written. I suppose that’s funny, but:
GRANDPARENTS OF ERNEST BORGNINE.
March 7, 2012 at 10:04 pm
mbnovak
It’s just my favorite.
March 7, 2012 at 10:06 pm
spookymilk
Your favorite is a team you were on. Weird.
March 7, 2012 at 10:06 pm
spookymilk
Wait, you weren’t on it. Well, whatever. In any case, eat me.
March 7, 2012 at 10:12 pm
mbnovak
Zing!
March 7, 2012 at 10:17 pm
seeann
Spreadsheet.
Well, I have it set up a bit differently. You get points for how far you’ve made it in each game and all games are averaged together. I’m still trying to get it to sort properly though.
March 7, 2012 at 10:25 pm
seeann
Okay, the sort feature blows but the sort function works okay. Sorting is done, with the exception that those who haven’t played at all rank at the top. Have to make sure Kelly is at the bottom.
March 7, 2012 at 10:30 pm
The Dread Pirate
I still think standard deviation would be great to sort out people who consistently finish in the same general area (like DG or Novak) from people who have finished in the top two and bottom five (like someone else I can’t think of).
March 7, 2012 at 10:57 pm
spookymilk
That’s Ryan Fossum. I approve of any legislation to give him his due, because he really is one of the all-time greats.
March 7, 2012 at 11:35 pm
funkomatic
I am pleased as punch(ing someone I don’t like) that Enigmatic Southern Gentleman came out so high on the list. Always thought it had a dignified ring to it, like if an emperor tamarin could speak.
March 8, 2012 at 2:17 am
AMR
Spreadsheets are like fantasy teams. Everybody wants to talk about their own, but no one wants to hear about anyone else’s. “Your spreadsheet is boring, but let me tell you about my awesome spreadsheet.”
March 8, 2012 at 2:24 am
spookymilk
I guess that might be true if you ignore these comments, the fact that I love other people’s spreadsheets, the fact that other people constantly visit mine, and the fact that not everyone lives a sad egocentric life and would say something as asinine as “Your spreadsheet is boring, but let me tell you about my awesome spreadsheet.”
March 8, 2012 at 2:27 am
AMR
I must be getting the vibe wrong, or you’re playing along too well for me to notice.
March 8, 2012 at 2:30 am
spookymilk
Your’re getting the vibe wrong. Tons of discussion =/= “boring.” Your comment managed to be both incorrect and offensive.
March 8, 2012 at 2:30 am
adobery
Your response is boring (tldr), let’s talk about my awesome response.
[response redacted]
How dare you! Man that was an awesome response, but I’ll never write it as awesome the second time. Oh well.
March 8, 2012 at 2:33 am
AMR
Let me try again…
It seems that every time I go to a bar or a party, I’ll mention how I spend 90% of my work time on Excel, and I’ll soon be cornered by some guy going on and on about how great his spreadsheets are, and everything he can do with them. Array functions, pivot tables. God, I’m so sick of hearing about everyone’s spreadsheets!
But I do have this great little one that I’ve been working on that tracks the time of day when WGOMers do their posting…
March 8, 2012 at 2:35 am
spookymilk
This would have been a better opener, since it really is tangential to the spreadsheets at hand, at best.
If you have a spreadsheet about WGOMers and their time-of-day posts, I can only assume you’re about two steps away from being a serial killer…
March 8, 2012 at 3:05 am
AMR
Yeah, I’m gonna be awful at this Turbo Survivor thing I just signed up for. I do better if I take time to think things through.
And no, that’s not a spreadsheet I have. I prefer not to share those, though I have been letting them get out of date.
However, I wonder how hard it is to export the header data in the RSS feed into a table, then build from there. I’ve typically deleted all of the old comments, but I could just move them to a secondary folder. I could break things down like time of day and day of the week, post type (cup of coffee, game feeds, features).
March 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm
seeann
Since I have access to the SQL, it would be trivial for me to look at times of day that people post. Hmm.. Anyone interested in that?
March 8, 2012 at 11:18 am
Grey
How do you make a spreadsheet?
March 8, 2012 at 11:30 am
adobery
It’s easier with some help. Each of you first grab two corners on opposite ends from each other….
March 12, 2012 at 12:28 am
rob
I’m confused. How is it that Nick Puntu’s Fury isn’t last? I thought that was there place in all things survivor.
Also, these spreadsheets pretty much guarantee I won’t play survivor again since there is no way I am going to get even close to that far again. I’ll go with Will as the top players who only played once. Also, I have no time and I’m pretty terrible at writing (fiction – now if anyone needs a report for the FDA, give me a holler).