It’s over!!!! The final challenge could have been balanced better, but people played with the fear of the unknown, so it’s fine.
After the second move we had a very clear third-place team.
Derbis Executioners
Artisan Gravy: Erik Dikken
Legless Dogs: Eric “yickit” Schapp
This was a fun team to watch, between Erik’s logic and Eric’s paranoia. Just great stuff, guys. You weren’t near the top for a while, but you were so much fun that I appreciated the fact that you stuck around.
The last two teams went at it as Harmonica, one of the great villains this season, faced off with Ultragrandpa, who played a supervillain character. What can I say? Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.
Two people actually played Harmonica. Molly Buckrey played the role for the first several weeks but Chris Dykhoff, formerly Lattifer, took over when Molly had some family things come up. A Harmonica by any name would smell as evil, and although I’m exaggerating some, Harmonica was pretty cold throughout. I’d be interested in Chris’s perspective: did Molly’s play in any way have a bearing on your own?
Anyway, I’m rambling. The long and short of it is that Derbis Executioners were in a weird position where they almost had no chance of winning, but were able to choose who won. They did not choose the Harmonica team.
RUNNERS UP
Boen Thugs and Harmonyka
Boby Joens, Spelling Champion: Melissa Diamond
Harmonica Smiff: Molly Buckrey/Chris Dykhoff
This paved the way for a team that took over a few weeks ago and stuck in first, despite the incredible handicap of having Michael Rivet be part of the team. Probably the worst ally ever, Rivet weaseled his way to victory with the help of a God who kept him from an alliance that was going to kill him. I exaggerate as always, of course, but c’mon. MIKE RIVET? GOOD GOD
Seriously, though. Your winners:
Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time
Ultragrandpa: Matt Novak
Friph Flipher-Fiph: Michael Rivet
DID YOU KNOW
Matt Novak has played three anonymous games – Diplomacy, Survivor XI and Gods & Mortals – and HAS WON THEM ALL.
“Ultragrandpa” is a metal trance track produced by Leif Bierly, my best friend in high school, and our friend Tim Duggan.
“Friph Flipher-Fiph” has no meaning, though my wife adored it and it’s the only name she wanted more than the one she took.
Novak has an awesome way of socially navigating these games (when nobody knows his name). As such, he’s on the sidebar yet again AND I can still brag about being one of the few people who was savvy enough to destroy him, given the chance.
One last serious note: Matt’s sister has Cystic Fibrosis and is currently in the hospital with pneumonia from these complications. Matt also had a child just days ago and has probably not slept in some time. Though we take swipes at the manipulative elf for no reason most of the time, Novak is one of the CdL’s real treasures and when he bleeds, I bleed for him. I don’t want to get maudlin, but this shit is family to me and I hope you all feel like you’re part of it, because you are.
Even you, Rivet. You Merry bastard. That was some great shit there at the end. If you didn’t see it, folks, well…I wish you had.
I suppose a more “Mortal” mortal should have won this, but them’s the breaks. I loved running this one and it took about the amount of time I thought it would take. I have ideas for the next one and I hope you had fun. If you haven’t joined Survivor XV but wish to do so, please do, as I need two people (or one to quit).
Cheers, all of you. Thanks, as always, for taking part in these experiments.
71 comments
Comments feed for this article
May 12, 2014 at 11:14 pm
MelissaDiamondPhillips
Rivet keeps besting me! Now my Big Brother PTSD gets to come back full force.
May 12, 2014 at 11:27 pm
kg2005
When I realized that I was teaming with Rivet to take you down again it sort of made me sad. It made me less sad when Harmonica sat three spaces from my castle after turn one!
May 12, 2014 at 11:31 pm
todahshy
Merry almost referenced Burro in my post but I decided not to since I was not 100% sure Boby was Melissa (Matt thought so but he was wrong on a couple of his God guesses so I didn’t know for sure).
May 13, 2014 at 12:55 pm
MelissaDiamondPhillips
Burro apparently haunts more than just me.
May 14, 2014 at 11:44 am
todahshy
Also… I’m pretty sure you made it farther than me in Big Brother AND in the last season of Survivor so if anyone should have PTSD it should be me! (Especially after you played that awful idol in Werewolf that destroyed Kelly and I’s chances at victory).
May 14, 2014 at 1:29 pm
MelissaDiamondPhillips
That was an awesome idol. For which I politely asked multiple times over in a manner nothing like begging.
May 12, 2014 at 11:30 pm
todahshy
Matt’s a great guy. I was very happy to get paired with him at the start. I just had a feeling we would work great together. It almost makes me feel bad for what we all did to him during Sheeple… almost.
May 12, 2014 at 11:32 pm
kg2005
Let it be forever remembered that the player with the lowest contribution percentage was Brooks Maki.
May 13, 2014 at 10:39 am
daneekasghost
I was very bad at this.
May 13, 2014 at 12:54 pm
nibbish
I was quite poor at this, as well.
May 12, 2014 at 11:37 pm
todahshy
Just looked at the Grave Robbers results! Leggy was the wonky move in round 5!! My mind can rest now!
May 12, 2014 at 11:45 pm
Zee German
I kept saying that! I’m still waiting for written apologies.
May 13, 2014 at 10:14 am
yickit
yeah I actually had sausage originally and changed it at the last min. I was worried about falling behind too early.
May 12, 2014 at 11:44 pm
Zee German
Evil? I must be naive or confused. I even told Friph I don’t really do ‘duplicitous’ very well, and meant it. I was trying my utmost to play as straight as possible until that wasn’t really an option. Maybe I am just cold. I guess I’m ok with that.
Also, please note the other side of the Brooks Maki equation.
May 12, 2014 at 11:47 pm
spookymilk
Okay, “cold” is more exact (nothing can be “more” exact. It’s either exact or it’s not. I know this. I want you to know that I know this).
Anyway, you were colder when you were Harmonica, but I assume this is because when you were Harmonica, it was late and you really didn’t have another choice.
May 12, 2014 at 11:52 pm
Zee German
That sounds about right. Things were getting serious by that point.
May 14, 2014 at 2:53 pm
mmmmhumberto
I was sad to hear of Matt’s ultimate domination last night at softball… After I left the game, I was rooting for Chris and Melissa! I’m glad the two of ‘ya made to the end!
Hmmm. I’m a little surprised at Harmonica being characterized as playing a cold or devious game. That was not my take on it as I was playing… I had my core alliance with Friph, Booty, and Lattifer from the get go. I was loyal to all of them in the beginning and remained loyal to Friph and Lattifer while I played. I did have a little side action with several other players but I never threw any of my allies under the bus (at least I don’t recall doing that), except Booty who I felt turned on me first. Is that devious? Cold? Maybe- but if I only depended on my core alliance I would have been putting all my eggs in one basket. I wanted to spread Granny’s love!
Now if I had stuck around, that’s an entirely different story. I would have been tempted to make a move against Friph/Ultragrandpa if the opportunity presented itself and if it was strategically advantageous. However, I wasn’t around long enough to for such an opportunity to present itself. And it seems like the way the game played out (or from what I heard from Matt), such a devious play never presented itself…
May 14, 2014 at 3:14 pm
spookymilk
This is why I’m glad to have you here for the conversation…early on both you and Booty were by far the ones involved in the most strategic conversations, and I got the feeling that both of you had “real” side plans that weren’t the same as the superficial ones. And yes, “cold” is a better descriptor for your game that devious, I assume (I made the same poor word choice above with the other Harmonica). As a mod it’s weird – technically you’re omniscient, but if that person has inside feelings that are expressed to no one, I still miss a lot. Since your options were so wide open, I just assumed someone was getting played.
May 14, 2014 at 3:28 pm
inkarnit
Yeah, to me it seemed like it would have made more sense for Harmonica to work with me to knock Friph out since he was a bigger threat. Us being dropped so far in the standings turned us into little threat and therefore the best ally to have. Instead, Harmonica and Friph continued to work together and it ultimately worked out to Friph’s advantage. Had you confronted me on SLK, I would have copied the full email string. I was trying to play his anymosity towards you against himself. In that challenge where you blocked him into the corner based on what he told me he was going to do, he really got mad at you. I knew he had it in for you, so in later challenges I used that to make him think I was working with him against you. It was just to get info out of him though, not to actually do anything to you.
May 14, 2014 at 3:44 pm
spookymilk
I’d be interested in that answer, if any of the top three teams want to field it. Booty Flood had fallen far enough that I was a little surprised that nobody (openly) entertained the idea of using them to take control. Is this because of the fact that the final challenge could have been anything, and could have allowed the others to use you? Is it because if it failed and BF went down, you’d be public enemy number one? I don’t think anyone “misplayed” anything here, but I’m curious if this was an option to anyone.
May 12, 2014 at 11:55 pm
kg2005
Fun fact: I submitted my name choices late. Artisan Gravy was my ninth choice.
May 12, 2014 at 11:57 pm
todahshy
Fun fact: I did not even read the name list I just sent Kelly a list of numbers and got stuck with my awful name and immediately regretted my decision.
May 12, 2014 at 11:59 pm
Zee German
I did greatly appreciate your back story of the horrendous spouse who would make you hyphenate such a name, if that’s what you were getting at.
May 12, 2014 at 11:58 pm
spookymilk
That IS a fun fact. You were one of two people who didn’t get his or her first or second choice. One got his third, and you got your ninth.
May 13, 2014 at 12:01 am
Zee German
“Lattifer” really grew on me.
May 13, 2014 at 12:17 am
spookymilk
I have a love-hate relationship with that name that grew to love as you played with it so well. “Lattifer” was my joke name to my wife as we were having our second kid. I said to her “It’s Lattifer, regardless of gender.”
May 13, 2014 at 10:27 am
mbnovak
Thanks for a very fun game Kelly.
Much of the credit for our victory goes directly to the nobility of KG and Yickit. If you ever get a chance to align with either of those fellows, my advice is to do it.
Rivet was a pretty amazing partner too. Definitely more on the “god” side of the line though. I had a lot of fun talking him out of stabbing people in the back, at least.
May 13, 2014 at 10:42 am
yickit
It was a fun game. I’m pretty sure I told Kelly that about midway through the game I had a dream that kg wasn’t really my god, and that it was you pretending to be kg and trolling me all along. Which makes absolutely no sense.
So yeah. Paranoid is the right word.
kg played a great game, and I held him back in the beginning. But we went from 7th to 2nd and ended up in third. Which I’m certainly happy about.
During graverobbers I really wanted to jump ship w/ friph and hit Smiff hard. but UG and AG worked really hard to keep us from doing it.
Linkbusters was my favorite challenge, shamrock and free trade were also fun.
I’m also glad that this and Catan are over so I can not be sending emails constantly.
May 13, 2014 at 10:48 am
spookymilk
I certainly found a few Survivor challenges in this one.
And yes, you mentioned the dream. It made me laugh. In your defense, it wasn’t the first time a very paranoid person assumed that Erik was Novak.
May 13, 2014 at 10:54 am
daneekasghost
You all missed out on one of the true joys in life, backstabbing Rivet for no apparent reason. I feel bad for each and every one of you.
May 13, 2014 at 5:43 pm
greekhouse
I had a lot of fun playing this. A lot of the fun for me was writing an algorithm that tried to figure out who the pairings were. It correctly guessed the pairings after Shamrock and by the time Fudge got eliminated, I knew 100% they were right. I wish I had had more confidence in them early, I would have tried to play that more to my advantage.
May 13, 2014 at 5:57 pm
mbnovak
Aye. Putting together that spreadsheet was a blast.
May 13, 2014 at 9:08 pm
inkarnit
I had fun with this as Who Gotdabooty. Apparently I was assumed to be female early on by Harmonica (the first one) and it stuck with quite a few people. I also attempted to make people realize that Harmonica was an evil sneakthief but apparently she/he did a better job at convincing people that I was the bad one. We peaked too early and brought the wrath down upon us but it was fun. I’m not sure how much I liked that an eliminated player whom I admitted to tricking took over as one of my allies though…
May 13, 2014 at 9:24 pm
Zee German
I figured all along you were being too obnoxious to actually be female.
I was only gone for one challenge. By the time I got back in as Harmonica, a specific part of my update in-brief from Molly was “Booty must die.” Your reputation was pretty well set and your fate on the way to being sealed after those first four or five challenges.
May 13, 2014 at 9:28 pm
spookymilk
I figured all along you were being too obnoxious to actually be female.
I can’t wait for you to play more around here and meet some of our obnoxious females.
Wait…hold the phone. You DID meet Boby Joens. What the hell?
May 13, 2014 at 10:29 pm
Zee German
Not sure just what you would be referring to. I found Boby to be positively charming. A delightful partner.
Perhaps she was holding out on me. I did get dropped on her in the middle of the game, after all.
May 13, 2014 at 10:41 pm
spookymilk
She has a history of being a horrible ally (to me, in particular, so that tends to stick).
As a player, I suppose she may be reaching…average-ish…levels?
May 13, 2014 at 10:57 pm
Zee German
Well maybe I’m just a terrible judge of character. I’m a big fan of Novak, too, and I see no abundance of warm-fuzzies for him, either.
So let me get this straight: I was initially paired up with the worst showing in the history of Maki, and I picked up with Boby…and we did nearly pull off a victory. Call me encouraged.
May 13, 2014 at 10:44 pm
todahshy
Well Kelly, Harmonica part 2 also had nothing but nice things to say about me as an ally as well 🙂
May 13, 2014 at 10:48 pm
spookymilk
Neat. It’s great news you learned how not to be a laughably bad ally after we’d worked together.
May 14, 2014 at 12:44 am
MelissaDiamondPhillips
Positively charming. Hear that, Kelly?!
May 14, 2014 at 2:40 am
dkautz
Kelly just has a stick up his butt about somebody joining a vote against him when he was already doomed anyway. And somebody voting him out in another game who he had already tried to vote out three votes earlier. In other words, sometimes Kelly doesn’t make a lot of sense.
Every terrible thing you’ve heard about Novak is true, though.
Congrats to Rivet! Happy to see my girl Gloria in the winner’s circle.
May 14, 2014 at 9:52 am
spookymilk
DK, you don’t know nearly everything about this and you should stay out of it.
May 13, 2014 at 11:17 pm
inkarnit
Obnoxious? What did I do that was obnoxious? Or are you just referring to my in-character stuff? I’m not sure why Molly had it in for me though. I certainly never gave her cause. I didn’t start gunning for her, in fact, until I realized she was being devious.
May 13, 2014 at 11:23 pm
Zee German
Obnoxious in character. Holla!
I think the “watch out for Booty” conversations got thick after/during Snatch. There was that thing with the spreadsheet permissions that never got sorted out.
May 13, 2014 at 11:25 pm
spookymilk
I couldn’t say anything at the time, but I’m almost positive that Booty was on the level, and that I was the only non-alliance member that was in on that spreadsheet.
Also, yeah. Harmonica was more devious than Booty from the beginning, which is saying something. Her ability to deflect to him was pretty funny.
May 13, 2014 at 11:29 pm
inkarnit
Yeah I definitely didn’t have anything to do with the spreadsheet thing. That was a messed up situation and I really thought it was her doing. Also, it’s possible someone gave a permission to their personal email or something… I learned that my partner did that with our team spreadsheet at one point too. I definitely planned who to betray based on some of those actions though. I only really betrayed Sausage and Lattifer though and never had a formal alliance with either. I didn’t screw anyone in my alliance except Harmonica, and that was only way later.
May 14, 2014 at 12:20 am
Zee German
I’m still trying to place this deliberate screwing-over of Lattifer. I went back to look as the spreadsheets and don’t see it. That seems like so long ago.
I’m not sure what constitutes a “formal” alliance. I thought the Lattifer-Harmonica-Friph-Booty thing was working well, but I’m seeing there was much more going on.
This is all very revealing. Moral of the story: Watch out for Molly.
May 14, 2014 at 12:45 am
inkarnit
Before Lattifer was brought into the alliance, I tried to play him and sausage off each other, but it didn’t work out.
May 14, 2014 at 12:53 am
Zee German
Aah. Bygones and whatnot.
May 14, 2014 at 1:10 am
inkarnit
It didn’t work anyhow. LOL
May 14, 2014 at 2:35 pm
mmmmhumberto
Wanted to leave a few replies, but don’t want the hassle of creating a new account….plus I’ve sorta missed Humberto!
I wanted to address the alliance spreadsheet fiasco. There was an anonymous player on our alliance spreadsheet. I did not make it up. I asked Kelly if it was him and he told me that he had been at work the whole day and his last visit occurred the night before. Whether it was an ally or not- I don’t know. But if it was an ally, they were not on their character’s gmail account. When it happened, I honestly thought that Booty had shared the link. However, when she changed her move I doubted my initial suspicions. Either way, I wanted her out of the alliance and blaming Booty for the spreadsheet leak was the perfect rationale to have Lattifer and Friph turn on Booty. I also had personal motives for wanting Booty out of the alliance- I was annoyed with her because she gave me unsolicited help in a few of the challenges that actually interfered with my own play, I saw her as a huge threat (she was crazy active) and sharing all our info with her was a major reason why she was doing so well (take away our collaboration, take away her success); also SLK had shared an email with me indicating that Booty was trying to get him to go after me. And if she was doing it with SLK, I figured she was doing it with others. Hence- Booty needed to go!
May 14, 2014 at 2:39 pm
spookymilk
From the beginning, you vs. Booty was the best thing to watch.
I honestly don’t know what happened with that spreadsheet. It couldn’t have been me based on the timing, but it wasn’t Colin (I can’t “prove” that but he told me about all his other underhanded ideas at the time, so I doubt he would have lied about that one).
It was a bummer when you had to bow out. I hope to see you in more stuff down the road.
May 14, 2014 at 3:20 pm
inkarnit
Yeah I definitely had nothing to do with the spreadsheet. As for SLK, I tried to play him from the very start. I wasn’t playing you at all at that point. I even went so far as to create a fake email account pretending to be a police informant offering him anonymous advice in return for info he had on others. I ended up screwing it up later by replying to one of his emails with something about “this booty wasn’t made for jail” and laughed my ass off as the ruse was obviously over. I gave him plausible sounding info, but only just enough to hang him. He ended up doing things differently by accident that screwed me up though and then he totally lost trust with me when he realized I tried to play him. You did a great job turning the alliance against me though. I was shocked that you were able to convince people that I was the tricky one. It was fun though for sure. I was wary of you (or whoever Harmonica was) pretty much the entire time, but I did not suspect that Friph had been turned against me until he totally stuck that nail in on the Thor’s Hammer challenge. That was when I knew Booty Flood was done for.
May 14, 2014 at 3:45 pm
spookymilk
I’d totally forgotten about the Police Informant. I take it back, Molly – Booty was definitely the more “devious” one, as clever and as dangerous as you are.
May 14, 2014 at 4:18 pm
inkarnit
Yes but my Police Informant only went after one person! I think I shot a bunch of emails out with it but only got one response so just stuck to using that with Sausage.
May 13, 2014 at 10:59 pm
spookymilk
Dykhoff, the fact that you almost survived Brooks at his worst AND Melissa at her best speaks volumes about how good you are.
May 13, 2014 at 11:18 pm
Zee German
Well, shit. Now I have to play again. If only I didn’t have to try and be productive at work. You folks amaze me.
May 14, 2014 at 12:51 am
MelissaDiamondPhillips
I can’t tell if you’re trying for a response from me, Kelly, or if you’re satisfied with simply giggling to yourself after each zing. Regardless, Chris should stick with his beliefs about my charm.
I’d like to point out, too, that I did not come in 6th! I count this as a success.
May 14, 2014 at 10:54 am
spookymilk
Can’t it be both? Yeah, the zings have taken on a life of their own. First it was Bret, and now it’s you. Soon enough, someone else will show up and reach sixth repeatedly with no plan to go further, and you’ll be off the hook!
May 14, 2014 at 11:42 am
todahshy
Come on Kelly you have to admit you are somewhat happy that the final 3 teams each had a War Pig on them. Greatest alliance in CdL history?
May 14, 2014 at 11:46 am
spookymilk
Holy crap, I hadn’t even noticed that. I ran it and the other three made the final challenge. I don’t know what that means, but it sure means something.
May 14, 2014 at 1:31 pm
MelissaDiamondPhillips
And it comes full circle!
We definitely need a War Pigs podcast after this astounding revelation.
May 14, 2014 at 1:32 pm
inkarnit
What’s a war pig? Other than a Black Sabbath song?
May 14, 2014 at 1:42 pm
spookymilk
We were a very strong but self-loathing, self-destructive alliance in Big Brother.
May 14, 2014 at 1:41 pm
spookymilk
Honestly, a War Pigs podcast could be truly hilarious. I’d be into that if Dikken and Rivet are down.
May 14, 2014 at 2:18 pm
todahshy
Will Brooks show up halfway through and take it over?
May 14, 2014 at 2:20 pm
kg2005
Only after I offer him my microphone and he runs off with it.
May 14, 2014 at 2:32 pm
spookymilk
We totally should have done it that way without advertising the fact.
May 14, 2014 at 3:58 pm
daneekasghost
Then at the end it will be revealed that Pirate was there the whole time.
May 15, 2014 at 10:40 pm
The Dread Pirate
Yup, I was just reading in my little library in the corner waiting for the implosion and acting all innocent and ignorant.