Sometimes, guys, a voting session goes far beyond the realm of what I thought existed, even if it ends up where many thought it would go anyway. I wish I could say more, but just believe me…this was fun to watch, Survivors.

Vote One: Melissa Diamond. “Melissa is my choice, I’m afraid. Definitely nothing personal.”

Vote Two: Joe Harrell. “I’m sorry, Joe, but if this team has to vote someone out, the least we can do is make sure it hurts more than just the Hymen.”

Vote Three: Joe Harrell. “Hey, Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?
Hymens don’t like other teams all up in their . . . bizness.”


Vote Four: Melissa Diamond. “Sorry.”

Vote Five: Melissa Diamond. “This vote was something else.”

YOU DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN RIGHT

I may have lied when I suggested this one was predictable. Sorry!

Ninth Elimination from Spookymilk Survivor XV: Melissa Diamond

On the downside, no more of Melissa’s stories. On the upside, no more Melissa! AWWWWWW SNAP

Seriously, though, this probably wasn’t what she had in mind when she had a plan to avoid sixth place. I guess she can rest well knowing that she’s just the latest big moment in a season full of big moments.

The next challenge is called Bygones and it’s one where you choose between two options. There are different due times, which I did so you could have a few more words.

Option #1 is a Eulogy. The eulogy for this challenge could be awkward. The author/deliverer of the eulogy had a strained relationship of some kind with the deceased, which may or may not be common knowledge to those at the funeral. This isn’t the story of the eulogy being written, but the actual eulogy itself. If you do this one, it’s due Sunday at noon Central and you get 400 words.

Option #2 is similar, in its way. You’ll write a Best Man or Maid of Honor Speech. However, the giver of the speech was once romantically involved with one of those getting married. Again, whether or not this is common knowledge is your deal, and whether or not you make it common knowledge or lay on the subtext is yours to play with as well. If you do this one, it’s due Monday at 8pm Central and you get 400 words. If you miss the first deadline, you are required to do the second option because we will already have judged the first, though results will all come out at once on Monday night.

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A personal bit.

Survivor XI winner and season XIV mod Matt Novak told me that the biggest writing challenge he ever faced was having to tackle the eulogy of his sister, Anna, who died of complications from cystic fibrosis last week. As such, Matt will be fairly scarce, but he wants the group to know this place provides a nice break from reality. If any of you want to drop Matt a line, don’t hesitate, as he was quite close to Anna and this is a rough time for him.

It was more or less his idea to do a eulogy challenge, and as awkward as these could be, I want to dedicate this week’s stories to Anna’s memory anyway. Anna was just 23 and seemed like an interesting person who, like many of those who go much too young, really attempted to make use of the time she had.

Cheers, Survivors. Hug the ones you love, and such. And Novak, I know we’re nothing like real family, but we’re your family regardless. I hope there’s peace to be found somewhere in all this.

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