Pete Bruzek
I love how you think up a grouping of words and decide to make make a game out of it. It’s like “Marco Polo Sasquatch” should be a game, how is it not a game yet? And ten minutes later, it’s a game that four people play on a spreadsheet.

Weeeeellllll, challenge accepted, Mr. nibbish.

Before we get to the challenge (surprise!!! The game has started), let’s talk about naming your teams.

Name your teams.

Okay, that was easy. Fine, fine – I’ll expand on that. Normally I allow players to be dicks and name the teams on their own, but what we’ve seen in recent seasons is that players do this in order to make inside jokes. Now, I’m not going to say these aren’t funny, because poking Mike Rivet by naming teams after him was a pretty sweet gag. On the other hand, everyone else gets annoyed when they have no say in this, so this time, I must insist that y’all (or y’most, at the very least) talk about it together before giving me a name, which is due Monday at 9pm Central, just like the first bit of the first challenge. Arizonans, we’re two hours earlier than Central time right now; when it changes I’ll make sure you’re paying attention, assuming you haven’t all flamed out and gotten eliminated a few weeks from now.

So the first challenge was going to be Emissary. I screwed up and allowed everyone to see who the Emissaries were. Then you screwed up and nobody on one of the teams sent in a desire to be an Emissary. Luckily for you, I have no “give up” in me and will be utilizing the Emissary concept in a way that’s much, much more potentially damaging to your solo games. You’re welcome!

So, the first challenge. Marco Polo Sasquatch. Let’s start with a simple blank spreadsheet. You’ll all go on this sheet, notated by the initials there. One person on your team (you decide) will be a Sasquatch while the rest are Villagers.

See, in this snow-capped winter wonderland, the villagers play a game of Marco Polo with the Sasquatches where, if the Sasquatches see them, they get to kill and eat them. It’s a pretty stupid game, when you think about it, but if they were intelligent, would they live in the snowy mountains? Come on now.

The Villagers

Place yourselves on any space by Monday night at 9pm Central. On each of the four turns after that (Tuesday to Friday), you may move one space in any direction, including diagonally, to avoid being seen by either Sasquatch. You can also stay where you are, but you must tell me so. If you fail to send a move on any given day, you will be considered a nonsub (this is CdL slang for “someone who doesn’t do the challenge”) and will be immediately wiped from the board. You’ll also automatically vote against yourself if your team loses.

The Sasquatches

Place yourselves on any space. On each of the four turns after that, you may move up to three spaces in any direction, including diagonally, though you can also move fewer spaces than that, and bank movement. If you abstain from moving for the first three days, you can move up to 12 spaces on the final day. You wouldn’t do that, but this is hypothetical. Anyone from either team that is on a horizontal, diagonal or vertical line and therefore can be seen by a Sasquatch is killed. This is true even of the initial placements, so diversify, bitches.

Sharing Spaces

Villagers cannot share spaces. If you attempt to initially place yourself on a space already taken, I’ll tell you and ask you to choose another. From there, if you know Diplomacy, you know how the rules of movement work. You can’t trade spots with a player and you can’t move into one where a player is sitting and not moving, so if you attempt this, it will be unsuccessful and you’ll sit in place.

Sasquatches, if they share a space at any time with a villager, will kill the villager in question. Sasquatches can share a space with no penalty to either.


If you miss any move, you’re a nonsub and you die. If you die in any way, obviously you will not be needed for more moves, but you’re still allowed to talk strategy with your team (and should, if you want to last long in this game).

If the Sasquatch nonsubs, he is wiped from the board and the remaining turns will be played out with only the opposing Sasquatch on the board.


The team with more surviving villagers at the end of the fourth day is immune. If it’s a draw, we’ll go to sudden death until a team has the advantage.

That should be it, gang. I’ll mark all the initial placements at once on Monday night, and we’ll get to the first move. For now you should probably head to Diplochat and talk to your team.

Carpe diem, Survivors. It has begun. Cheers.

Edit: One last thing. If your team wishes, just one person can send all the initial placements for the sake of simplicity (both yours and mine). After that, each person will be expected to do his own thing.