One more foregone conclusion. Then we’ll get to the real deal, eh?

Vote One: Have at it, Gang.

Vote Two: Have at it, Gang.

Vote Three: Have at it, Gang.

Vote Four: Have at it, Gang.

Vote Five: Have at it, Gang. “seeeeee ya.”

Vote Six: Have at it, Gang. “And that gang will have at him.”

Vote Seven: Have at it, Gang. “bob.clean(‘Have At It, Gang’)”

Vote Eight: Have at it, Gang.

Vote Nine: Have at it, Gang. “Speak up, my friend!”

Vote Ten: Have at it, Gang. “I don’t know why he quit showing up, but the name sort of invites his demise.”

Sixth Elimination from Spookymilk Survivor XVI: Chris “Have at it, Gang” Barthule

I work with this idiot, too. Similarly to Joh, he claimed being busy. Similarly to Joh, this is absolutely not the case. Similarly to Joh, he just started dating someone, so that’s as close as I can get to forgiveness. Barthule and I had a strange conversation a couple days ago where he was all, “Well, maybe next time I can actually play!” and I was like, “Dude, you’re playing now! Just stop sucking!” He preferred to keep sucking, unfortunately. By the way, for reference, Barthule is the guy on the Caligula card in Fall, Caesar.

Hey, your teams are even! Howzabout we get ourselves on a spreadsheet, eh? This one is a tad complicated, so good players, help explain it to the dumb ones.

Here you go. Those three black spaces in the 20×20 area are Zombies. Zombies are bad, it turns out. Your job is to place yourselves on this grid, and after that’s done, the three zombies will infect the people to whom they’re closest. That is, if Zombie 1 is 14 spaces from Shrubbery and at least 15 from anyone else, he will infect Shrubbery. The three players who get infected will take over as the zombies (in whichever space they placed themselves) for the next turn while my three will disappear.

If two or more people are equidistant from the zombie, the zombie will infect the one who placed himself or moved last. Movement will be determined by quickest route, including diagonals.

On the second move, the three new zombies will get to move themselves 0, 1, 2 or 3 spaces – wherever they want to go. Their movement will not be stymied by other humans in any way. Humans will move up to three spaces as well. At the end of this, once again, the three that are closest to the zombies will be infected and the previous ones will disappear. There are no team benefits here; the zombie will infect the closest person regardless of team affiliation.

Movement: You can intersect with other humans as long as you don’t land on the same space in the end. If you’re on the same space at the end of a turn, both will die and not be figured into the zombie’s infections.

Nonsubs: There will be nonsubs in this challenge, for the first time in a while. A human who nonsubs will be wiped from the board. If a zombie nonsubs, he will stay where he is and automatically infect his nearest teammate, just to rub it in. If you’re strategically not moving, you must say so.

Did you claim a goat at Mount Rainier? You should have! If you have a goat, you will get a one-time reprieve from the zombie, and the zombie will eat the goat and not infect anyone on that turn (meaning that certain players will be zombies for more than one turn). If you specifically have Eamon McCord, you will get two reprieves. (And by the way, yes, it is far too late to request goats).

Hey, is that an idol clue on the grid? Why, yes, it is. If you can manage to step on that space without being eaten by a zombie on the same turn, I’ll read you the clue. If you initially place yourself there and have a goat, your goat will save you, but you won’t get to read it until you’re vulnerable and survive a move. Can you believe I’ve placed an idol twice and nobody’s found it? I can’t.

If someone finds the idol before you read the clue…well, hey, that’ll suck.

Here’s a situation: if the same human is the closest to two zombies, then the closer zombie claims him while the other zombie picks from the rest of the group. If the same person is the closest to two zombies and these are equal distances, first of all, I will hate you all for allowing that situation, but secondly I will randomly select a zombie to eat him, as much as I would hate it.

I thiiiiiiink everything is covered here. I assume we’ll have some weird situations, but we’ll stumble through.

Oh, right, winning conditions: The last team with surviving humans wins the game. If both are eradicated at the same time, then the team with the person furthest from a zombie will be the winner. If this is still a draw, both teams will eliminate someone.

Place yourselves by tonight at 9pm. Remember, if you’re not first, I will tell you so you can place somewhere else.

Please ask questions here if you have them.

Cheers, Survivors.