After successfully killing Tirek, the ponies felt pretty good about themselves, and took full advantage of Pinkie’s Party. That is to say, they all got really drunk. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders. It was completely irresponsible.

“Spike. Spike,” said Twilight Sparkle to the dragon sitting in the corner sulking, “Spike. You’re a good guy. Nnnnnif Rarity can’t see it, then ssshe’ss not, uh, the pony for you. Hey. Spike. Spike. Is a, uh, a pony even… like, Spike. Can you even… yaknow, with a pony?”
“Someday marriage equality will come to Ponyville.”
“Spike. Thasss a good point. Spike. I’m gonna say something.”

Twilight turned to the crowd.

“Everypony, I wanna say something. Spike… Spike… He’s… Spike.”
“Spike? The punch is spiked? OH MY GOODNESS, WHO SPIKED THE PUNCH?” Screamed Pinkie. “Just kidding! It was me, of course!”

Which made Pinkie feel incredibly guilty the next day, when they found that Twilight had wandered into a library later that night, where she was devoured by the wolf. Her magic had been completely useless, because of the drinking. Yes, our lead character was killed because she couldn’t hold her liquor. That’s what happens to bookworms. They read all day, and don’t party enough, and then they go to the library drunk one time and get turned into horseburgers. Let this be a lesson kids. Don’t read books.

Nettiebarron Tirek. Died of embarrassment.
Inkarnit Twilight Sparkle. Killed by her love of reading.
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It Is Day

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