Well here we are, players, at the end of another fine, unpredictable game. If you haven’t listened to the Salmon Walk podcast announcing identities yet, you really should. If you have, do it again. I’ll be here when you’re done.

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Welcome back from the podcast! Any other business for you to tend to? Okay, good. Let’s see who won this damn thing.

I think everyone knows this, but you want to see your name here. Votes are to name a winner.

Hope, who was never very hopeful, and Sass, who was never very sassy – are y’all ready for this?

COLIN “CHASTITY TRUEHEART” WOLFSON

Hope Martell

CHARITY HOPE “HAROLD BISCUITS” WILLIAMS

The History of Sass

RENE “HEY YOU OVER THERE” PARE

The History of Sass

MELISSA “GRAVEYARD NUGGETS” DIAMOND

Hope Martell

VALERIE “BEEF STEW” CHAMBERS

The History of Sass

…….five votes without comments?! Oh well. 3-2 Sass so far.

MARK “REESE WILDEBEEST” FEAGINS

My vote is 100% wholeheartedly for SASS. She took up the torch in my absence and in my opinion worked very hard and is deserving of the title. Thanks for the fun game, Kelly!

DANIEL “SMASH HARDWOOD” CAOUETTE

Hope Martell. The largest part of my reasoning is that I had absolutely zero contact with History of Sass, and it is difficult to vote for someone I have no insight on. I do regret that I didn’t speak with Sass. I look forward to opportunities in the future in which I can talk with the player behind Sass. That being said, it is definitely not the only reason why I pick Hope. Hope is correct in her statements, she played a very “Go with the flow” game for a while. If anyone asked me at the time of my demise to describe Hope, “Dominant” would not be used. That’s why I like that she’s here. You see, it’s not always the normal take-charge person that wins. It can be the mammal living underground that survives the meteor strike. This by no means says I’m calling Hope’s gameplay spineless. Quite the contrary, if everything she did was thought out as I believe it was, it’s pretty clever. That cleverness wins my vote. Can’t say I’ll be disappointed either way, though. Good luck to both! -Smash Hardwood Out-

ERIC “ROGUE SCALLION” SCHAPP

In the Jury room I said whoever gives the better explanation of their game timeline (or something like that) would probably get my vote. I think I’m going to stick to that; but on a lot of levels I wished I had asked a few better questions. You both played tremendous games and it was a fun ride, but in the end I’m going to have to go with the person who I have a better understanding of: History of Sass. This isn’t an alliance thing, I mean she/he did try to vote me out and he/she and Reese were not on my dance card. I just have a better understanding of her game and see how she/he switched it on in the last couple of rounds. Hope I look forward to playing with you again. Like I said you both played great games, ones that I can only dream of.

PETE “INTERESTING SALMON” BRUZEK

Well played, both of you! This season was a lot of fun, and I’m glad that we have a couple of finalists who clearly fight to get where they are. In the end, though, Hope played the type of game that I can respect just a little more. She was loyal when she was able to be, cutthroat when she had to be, and took (in my opinion) the steps needed to ensure a spot in the end while never settling to be another player’s pawn. Nicely done, Hope.

MICHAEL “SALAMANGELA” RIVET

Hope Martell. Fun Fact: Salmon can be extremely persuasive.

Well, well, well. We have a 5-5 tie with just a single vote to go. No pressure, Toothless Hustle.

CHRISTINA “TOOTHLESS HUSTLE” PEPPER

Gotta live up to my “last-minute” nickname, right? 🙂

Hope, you were a solid ally to me for part of the game and I have to give you major props for figuring out how to crush me in that final challenge and for making some key alliances along the way that helped keep you safe and get you to the end. That said, I found your game as a whole (or what I could see if it) to be just a little too passive for my preferences. You’re absolutely right that obvious threats get voted out. But what I love to see is a threat who can play the game in a smart enough way that they can fly under the radar even as they’re executing on a strong strategy.

Sass, you were so much fun to play with! You played a smart game, you did some excellent work on the challenges, you were a great ally, and I have the satisfaction of knowing I asked you the hardest jury question. 😉 Despite the good number of immunities you picked up after the merge, you were able to keep yourself from being perceived as a threat through a combination of your style of play and the alliances you formed. My only quibble is that I’m not sure you really lived up to your name. Even so, my vote to win Survivor XVII goes to History of Sass.

Runner-Up; Spookymilk Survivor XVII: Abby “The Answer” Stansel

Her answers helped her much more than anyone expected they would, so this would have been her winner nickname.

The Winner of Spookymilk Survivor XVII:
STACY “SAINTLY PATIENCE” SNELL

Stacy lingered beneath more troublesome allies for the vast majority of this game, biding her time, perhaps not making enough of her own connections early (if she had, I think she skunks the votes here) but knew who was the right friend at the right time. Reese and Toothless have a large hand in this, but any winner can credit some other people for help along the way. Throughout the first half Stacy was pretty quiet, and when I did power rankings with about 12 or 13 people left, I placed her almost exactly in the middle. That’s sometimes not a bad place to be when there are a lot of threats to be taken out.

While Stacy didn’t talk to everyone, and this is really the main gap I’d say she has at this point, she did do a fantastic job of being liked by everyone she talked to; this isn’t so much a tactic as it is a byproduct of Stacy being Stacy. She emailed me a lot throughout the game, and I came away secure in the knowledge that she is one of the best humans who plays games around here.

Abby was rather different. Ruled by her overwhelming sense of paranoia, Abby needed a lot of reassurance from her main allies, who turned out to be Robo-Buffy and Graveyard Nuggets, who performed the lord’s work by keeping her as calm as possible. Abby’s social game wasn’t as endearing as Stacy’s and she was prone to the occasional contentious assault after a vote, but she played an increasingly important role in strategy as the game went on, and any thought that she was along for the ride is frankly silly. However, I do have to say that contacting the people you voted out and subtly bragging about outlasting them is, while not technically illegal, poor form and a bad way to cultivate winner votes.

We saw a few other great games along the way. Pepper was smart and calculating as always, while getting along with (almost) everyone. Pete played a game equal or better to the one he won a few years back, sticking with Pepper and having fits trying to figure out when to take her out. Mike Rivet just won Big Brother 2 and got all the way to fourth here, mostly without really having any legit relationships. For those of you who played here for the first time and really showed some teeth, I hope to see you again (and some have already agreed to future games).

But Stacy. Ah, Stacy. This is your day. Winning Big Brother on FB with 15 people is probably tough, but winning Survivor with 33 where there’s very little dead weight in what was billed as a sort of all-star game is a fine accomplishment indeed.

Of course, next time you play here, you’re not going to be a secret anymore…

Cheers, Survivor.

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