Of all the horrors in the Harry Potter series, surely, casual underage drinking is at the top of the list. Let’s enjoy some of that right now!

Taking a cue from their college counterparts, the Hogwarts students are playing a bit of a Halloween drinking game. Each student has twenty-four bottles of butterbeer that they can give to any other student in any breakdown they like. If you want to force Harry to drink all 24 of your butterbeers, you can.

Or can you?! Each person will also make themselves immune from five other students, and if those students try to force them to drink, then they will have to drink the offered butterbeers themselves. So if it was Crabbe who gave Harry all 24 of his beers and Harry is defending against Crabbe, Crabbe will have to drink the entire cache.

At the end of the party, the three students who have consumed the fewest butterbeers will be immune. If there are ties, preference will go to the students who successfully flipped the most beers on their servers. If there are still ties, up to five people will be immune, but if there are more than that tied, there will be another round among those tied.

Send your entire list – offers and the five people you’re immune to – to me or Dumbledore by tomorrow night (Tuesday) at 10pm Central. I’d like to make it tonight, but I assume many of you are actually doing stuff for Halloween either with your kids or in your own garishly sexy costumes. Tomorrow night isn’t perfect either, as I’ll be at the Timberwolves-Grizzlies game with my brother, but we should be back to his place by then if he doesn’t talk me into going to a bar, which he almost certainly will. Why didn’t someone tell me this week would actually be worse than the weekend?!

Drink up, students.