Results of Poutine Slam.

In the bitter cold in the dead of winter, there’s only one thing to do: go outside and taunt sasquatches into killing people for your amusement. This is an expensive game to produce, gang, what with all the corsages we’ll be buying for the widows of the dudes who get eaten. But what price entertainment?

We start with a 20×20 spreadsheet: Right here.

You have ten patsies available to you, to place on the board. These are the men and women willing to risk their lives for the sake of this ridiculous game. You will give me the coordinates of the ten people, which will be placed anywhere within the black borders (so, columns A-T and rows 1-20). You can also sacrifice any number of your people in the hopes of placing a sasquatch, which will kill anything it can see (in the example on the spreadsheet, the sasquatch was placed on G7 and would kill anyone in the blue spaces). The three people who are willing to sacrifice the largest number of people will successfully place their sasquatches. If you *aren’t* one of the three highest bidders, you will *still* lose the people you sacrifice. If you want, you can keep all ten of your people and just hope to be out of the line of fire.

This will be a single submission challenge due tomorrow (Wednesday) night at 8pm Central (this will take forever to tabulate, probably, hence the earlier hour). All I need is the number of the sacrifice, the placement of your remaining people, and the placement of your sasquatch, if you attempt to place one.

You will receive miles based on the number of people you have left, with the same mile breakdown as in the mortals challenge (10-5-5-4-4-3-3-2-2-1-1). If you are the sole person to have all ten people left, for instance, you will get ten miles.

Ties will be broken first by whether or not you successfully bid a sasquatch. If you place a sasquatch and you have eight people remaining, you will beat anyone else who has eight people remaining.

TIES ON BIDDING: If there are ties, deference will be given to the person who SUBMITTED FIRST. If there are seven equal bids of one sacrifice, the three who submitted first will get their sasquatch.

There…is that sufficiently difficult for you to wrap your head around? Good, good. The next stop will be extremely easy to understand, with just one challenge for every player who remains in the game.

I’ll mention that in the next leg, the remaining team with the LOWEST number of miles will have a tiny advantage in the first challenge, because it has to get started somehow. Not sure that this is something you should aspire toward – in fact, I’m sure it’s not – but I figured I’d say it.

In this challenge: Bernice Nystrom Nicaise Jake TwoSheds Elliott Melissa David Stacy Snell Shelbi Danialle Sarver Pete Bruzek Erin Leslie Joe n’Paula Rakstad Merry Monstergumby Rene’ Pare’ Eric Schapp