Criminals have had a hard week. Let’s get it over with.

Sweet Susie Dalton

Sweet Susie Dalton

Slicky Vicki

Sweet Susie Dalton – I’m a little sad about it, so no smartass reference to Trashcan Jan this time. <— Except for that one there.

Sweet Susie Dalton

By a vote of four to one, SWEET SUSIE DALTON BECOMES OUR 11TH ELIMINATED STUDENT.  We’ll miss you, KARI BERHOW, and hope you’ll play again.


Our next challenge is an oldie: It’s Battleship, only with a couple of twists. In the past, this has been played with just two teams. We’re going to give it a go with four. It’s going to be a DISASTER and I can’t wait!

First off, we’ll be handling this on an 20×20 grid. Grid is here:

The possibility exists that there will be more than one boat on any given space. (We’ll call them alternate universes or something else equally nerdy so that we can believe it could happen.)

Set Up

Your team will have 8 ships. E-mail their placements by WEDNESDAY at 9:p.m. Central. The ships are (with their lengths):

Destroyer (2) – Tiny little pain in the butt.

Cruiser (3) – Small, but not as painfully so as the Destroyer

Battleship (4) – Weird that they named the game after this one, right?

Carrier (5) – Big ol’ dude, practically useless in this game, since you know he’s gonna get shot up early, but also because he’s the one you don’t really want to be shooting.

All of the above get 1 shot per round. There are also 2 new “standard” “ships”:

Battleship Shapiro (4) – Can take as many shots, per turn, as it has undamaged spaces. Shots must be in a straight row. And connected.

Dolphin (1) – Dolphins are your spies. So they’ll tell you what you want to know but they won’t take an aggressive action; they’re strictly info gathers. When you take a “shot” with a dolphin, you are really just gathering information. If the dolphin “hits” on a ship, we’ll tell you the length of that ship, but it won’t do any damage. A miss is just a miss. Also, dolphins are pansies, so a direct hit will kill them, but also, if there are 3 hits in the 8 box area around the dolphin, it’ll die. Because ecosystems.

There are also two “non-standard” ships.

Submarine – These come in all sorts of sizes, not just the length of 3 prescribed by Hasboro. So you get to pick the length, anywhere from 2 to 4. If you pick 2, you get 1 shot per turn. If you pick 3, you get 2 shots, 4, you get 3 shots. Shots must connect, like the Shapiro.

Tetriship – The ship has a length of 4. It has a shape of “?”. The 4 boxes that make up this ship must touch directly (non-diagonally). So basically, any of the standard tetris shapes. Let me know what shape, and where it’s going. It just gets 1 shot.


We’ll handle these in rounds. Each ship gets a shot (or multiple, if it has multiple) each round. Once a ship is shot down, it doesn’t get a shot. However, that starts as-of the next round. So in round 1, no matter how many ships are eliminated, or in what order, each team will get the standard 9 shots, + 1 dolphin recon, +between 1 and 3 for the sub. If your destroyer is lost in round 1 and your Shapiro suffers 2 damage, then the next round you’ll be down to 6 shots, +1 dolphin recon, +1-3 for the sub.

The order your team takes shots in will probably matter to you, but the order you get hit in will matter less, at least for that round.

Whoever has a ship standing last wins. If you all go down in the same round, whoever takes the fewest shots that round to accomplish their goal, wins. Each ship must take its maximum number of shots each turn. First team to lose all of their ships will vote someone out. Ties are broken by least shots in their final round (meaning that team will win the tie and not be in last place).


Misses were noted on the spreadsheet in prior versions of this game. That will not be the case here. Each team will be responsible for tracking their own misses.

A hit will be color-coded. Red will mean you hit one boat. Turquoise means you hit two boats and Purple means you hit the trifecta and nailed all three teams in one fell swoop. I don’t have a color picked out for hitting four boats because that would just be stupid. So brown, I guess.

Naval history notes were awarded to someone at the Auction. That team will receive an extra Dolphin for their first move only. Use him wisely.