“And that…” Diane Chambers beamed, cocking her head at her unsuspecting customers, “is when Chaucer cheekily proclaimed ‘That ain’t my Canterbury Tale'” Diane let out her high-pitched chortle, drowning out the laughter of nobody. 

“Hey there,” Sam said, beckoning her to the bar. “I think you’re wearing them out with your comedy.”

Diane shimmied over and leaned in. “Like I wore you out last night?” 

“Uh huh,” Sam smiled. 

“It’s time for my break,” she winked. “Think I’ll take it in your office.” 

Sam leaned against the bar and watched her disappear into his sanctuary. Then he leaned over and grinned at Norm and Cliff. 

“Atta boy Sammy,” said Norm. “Have some more paperwork to catch up on?”  

“Ho ho ho!” Cliff followed. 

Sam just tapped the bar a couple times and jaunted over to his office. Upon opening the door, he let out a yelp. Diane was on his desk, spread eagle. Also, limp. 

“Something wrong, Sam?” Cliff asked. 

Sam fisted his balls in rage. “Dammit, Gary!” he yelled. “He does this every year. Pretends to kill all my friends, and then when I’ve completely cracked, he pops into the bar and has a good laugh at my expense. But not this year. This year, I’m going to catch that son of a bitch before that happens.”

“Is Diane all right,” Peter asks?

“Well, she looks dead,” Sam says. “But Gary will revive her and everyone else as soon as he thinks he’s won. I need you guys to help me catch him in the act. Any volunteers?”

“Well,” Frasier piped up. “Any man who can shut Diane up for a few days is a hero in my book. But, hell, I hate Gary almost as much. Where should we start?”

Game Structure: There will be no night wolf kills. After all, the bar is open at night! Every kill will be done via lynching. The wolves still win if they equal the number of remaining villagers (not including the neutral). The wolves will still get to talk strategy at night.

Sam Malone (Villager, Linchpin): Without Sam, everything at the bar falls apart. The patrons must do everything in their power to keep him around. If Sam is lynched, the wolves win. But! Sam is such a thoughtful and observant bartender that he can immediately sniff out any impostors. Sam has been notified who all the wolves are. 

Norm Peterson (Villager, Angel): If Sam is gone, Norm will run out of free beer. Therefore, he’ll be trying extra hard to keep him alive. Norm will get a chance each night to protect another player the following day. He will notify the mod at night (including Night 0) about who he’d like to protect. He can protect the same player every day if he wants. After all, if he’s snuffed out Sam but the wolves haven’t, then more power to him. His identity will be revealed upon death.

Harry the Hat (Neutral): While Harry has a soft spot for Sam, this only goes as far as he can profit. And for him to be profit, he needs to con as many people as possible for as long as possible. Harry will know who he is, but his role will not be announced to anyone else. His job will be to try to keep the game going as long as possible, keeping Sam and the wolves alive. If he can make it until there are only 5 players (including himself) remaining, he will win and be removed from the game. If he is killed, his role will be revealed.

Gary and his friends (Wolves): There are no differences between the wolves. However, they all have one special power that will prevent Sam from role-claiming. At any point when there is only one wolf remaining, that wolf can decide to kill any villager on the spot. This is obviously a reckless move and designed only to prevent a role-claim. The wolf can also use it as a last ditch effort if he’s about to be lynched, but he must decide to do so before the majority vote against him is cast. The reason I’m only allowing this with one wolf left is so that the the first two wolves don’t get a chance for a “free shot” at Sam as they’re about to die. If Sam were to make his identity obvious, it will be the responsibility of the final wolf to catch this and kill him when the time comes.

The Dread Pirate
Colin Prime