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Welcome, potential prosers to… Wait, wait! Hear me out. Don’t just look at who authored the post and leave. Especially because I’m only partially responsible for this. The other half is everyone’s favorite Colin (I assume I don’t need to specify, but let’s just say it’s not Wolfson).

So here’s the pitch… PWTP gives us all sorts of amazing writing challenges, but one type of challenge that it hasn’t given us is group challenges. Sometimes people hate group challenges, but sometimes people love them (I should have led with the loving part, right?). We’ve seen them in Spookymilk Survivor before (for example here and here). Much like regular PWTP, the difficulty and length of submissions will change from time to time. Probably a little bit more so here. Sometimes the submissions will be pretty minimal (think “20 Questions” if you’ve seen that played here before), and sometimes they’ll be about a regular PWTP length. We’ll never ask too much of any one player – that’s the point of groups, right?

Every week you’d get a new group, decided randomly, and everyone in that group would be trusted to participate. Scoring might need to be adjusted slightly, depending on the nature of any particular challenge, but for the most part I think we’d try to just give a group score. Sometimes we’d have big groups, sometimes small groups. Ultimately, the more often your team does well, the better you as an individual will do in the rankings. After the regular season the top half of players would enter the playoffs, and we’d still use group challenges to whittle it down to a final 2. Those 2 would then draft a team from the eliminated players to complete the final challenge.

In order for this to work, we’d probably need at least 15 players. So sign up today!

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According to Aristotle, the metaphysical nature of things can be divided into four causes: the material, the formal, the efficient, and the final. The material is what the thing is made of, the formal is its structure or design, the efficient is what caused the thing to be, and the final is the ultimate purpose of the thing.

Considering these metaphysical qualities, the wolves decided to see if they could turn something, namely a villager, into something else, namely a pile of guts. And while the material that was Spooky still remained (well, kind of), the wolves were able to efficiently cause a transformation of his formal being.

Violabeenice – SuperWolf! Ignorance is bliss!
Nibbish – Vanillager. Got what you get for corrupting youth.
Ash – Vanillager. What is the sound of no hands typing?
Spooky – Vanillager. Met his final cause.
Nettiebaron
MelissaDiamond
todahshy
Inkarnit
DG
DPWY
Eschapp
Bhiggum

IT IS DAY. 5 needed for majority.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”
– Socrates

Apparently the Wolves felt Nibbish needed to examine his life more closely, and they forced him to poison himself with hemlock.

Violabeenice – SuperWolf! Ignorance is bliss!
Nibbish – Got what you get for corrupting youth.
Nettiebaron
MelissaDiamond
todahshy
Inkarnit
DG
Ash
DPWY
Eschapp
Bhiggum
Spooky

IT IS DAY.
6 for a majority.

I think, therefore I am… a wolf?
What do we know? How do we know it? What is the essence of man? His soul? His body? What about that man there, who is dead, and looks like his body has been mauled by wolves, and also maybe they ate his soul?

These are the philosophical quandaries posed by our little game here. So go find some wolves. Unless you are a wolf, then don’t find them. Unless you are SuperWolf!, then you should find them, but only at night.

Seers and SuperWolf! received Night 0 peeks (and if they haven’t gotten them into me yet, they should do that soon!). The roles are as described in the previous post, with the addition that because we have an even number of players, one Martyr death kills both Martyrs. Also, remember, Martyrs can’t role claim, else they both die. And any attempt to reverse engineer Martyr role claiming (“everyone say if you aren’t a martyr” etc.) will lead to both Martyrs and another random villager being mod killed. So… don’t do that sort of thing.

My morning is hit and miss, so I’ll try to be around to answer any questions.

The Ponderers:
Nettiebaron
Violabeenice
Nibbish
MelissaDiamond
todahshy
Inkarnit
DG
Ash
DPWY
Eschapp
Bhiggum
Spooky

IT IS DAY.

Here’s the sign up for my weird idea for Werewolf where no one knows anything.

The basics:

Wolves 3 – Will not know who each other are.  Each night they will send in a list of 1/2 or 1/3rd the players remaining (depending on number of wolves), and the highest agreed target will be killed (If list is 5 people, #1 person gets 5 points, #2 gets 4, etc.). If there is a tie, random.org will pick the kill. Also, the wolves can accidentally kill a wolf, and random.org will break any ties. One of the Wolves will be SuperWolf! SuperWolf! gets 1 peek every night to find the other wolves, and if SuperWolf! succeeds, then that other wolf gets to know SuperWolf!’s identity too. But still no talking at night.

Seers (3) – There will be 3 seers.  1 will be a true seer.  1 will be a false seer.  1 will be a 50/50 true/false seer (random chance, each night).  They will also send in lists like the wolves.

Martyrs – There will be 2 martyrs.  They will be like Angels, in that they can save someone.  But they die in that person’s place, revealing that that person was the night kill.  They will also send in lists like the wolves and seers, and I will random.org which of the two dies.  In addition, if anyone role claims martyr, or hints in a way that is strong enough that I deem it to be a reveal, they and the other martyr will mod-killed immediately.  I want this role so that people get to participate in the weirdness here, but at the same time, too many roles to claim is unfair for the wolves.

Make sense?  Any other ideas or thoughts?

Once we get up to 11, we’ll start the next day (so Wednesday, at the earliest), and if we hit 13 we’ll add a third wolf.

Playing:
Nettiebaron
Violabeenice
Nibbish
MelissaDiamond
todahshy
Inkarnit
DG
Ash
DPWY
Eschapp
Bhiggum
Spooky

“Ponyville ain’t safe anymore, is it Big Mac?”
“Uh… nope,” answered Big Mac.
“Is that ‘nope’ like it ain’t safe, or ‘nope’ like what I said was wrong. Dagnabit I wish you weren’t so committed to your affectations.”
“Uh… in that case, I’ll let you know that I meant the former, and would remind you that I frequently stray from my traditional speech patterns when doing so suits the humor needs of the the writers.”
“Quit yer gabbin’!” interrupted Granny Smith, “I think you ought to get out of Ponyville, Apple Jack. Move to Manehattan.”
And, since we all know Apple Jack was the foregone conclusion for last night’s wolf kill, I’ll give you the summary version of the rest of the story: Apple Jack moved to Manehattan, and discovered life in the big city wasn’t for her. Not because of the “big city” part, but because of the “life” part.

TDO. Discord. Created chaos, and won.
Nettiebarron Tirek. Died of embarrassment.
Inkarnit Twilight Sparkle. Killed by her love of reading.
yickit Fluttershy. Split up.
MelissaD Zecora. Rhymed her last couplet.
Zee German Rarity. Savaged in the caboose.
todahshy Rainbow Dash. Turned into rainbow mash.
kg2005 Spike. Died from not taking mysterious pills.
nibbish Apple Jack. Bit the big apple.
daneekasghost
rob
spookymilk

2 needed for majority, day will end at 9 p.m. again, though I doubt we’ll get there.

It Is Day

With all the deaths of her good friends, Apple Jack was starting to get awfully lonely.
“Do you think I should spend some time with them, before they’re all gone?” she asked Big Mac.
“Uh… Yup.”
“I mean, I could maybe protect one of them, right?”
“Uh… Yup.”
“Us Earth Ponies aren’t being targeted like the magic ponies, right?”
“Uh… Yup.”
“So I’ll be safest with Pinkie Pie.”
“YAY! SLEEPOVER!” shouted Pinkie.
“How does she do that?”

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash decided to pay a quick visit to the Wonderbolts Academy, to see if she could round up some help. As usual, the Wonderbolts flew in fascinating patterns and burst through clouds, and things like that, but did absolutely nothing you’d expect of an elite fighting force.
Frustrated, Rainbow Dash flew away.
“Heh, look out, Rainbow Crash” said some bullies.
But it was too late. Because Rainbow Dash flew straight into the werewolf, and was turned into tiny little pieces.

Nettiebarron Tirek. Died of embarrassment.
Inkarnit Twilight Sparkle. Killed by her love of reading.
yickit Fluttershy. Split up.
MelissaD Zecora. Rhymed her last couplet.
Zee German Rarity. Savaged in the caboose.
todahshy Rainbow Dash. Turned into rainbow mash.
daneekasghost
kg2005
nibbish
rob
spookymilk
TDO

It is Day. Night is at 9 p.m. 4 votes needed for majority.

Fluttershy had been a big part of the group. In a different era they would have given her an autism spectrum diagnosis, and slowly marginalized her by segregating her from the rest of the class, but Ponyville was a bit behind the times, so instead they just called her quirky, and appreciated the fact that she made everyone else seem normal. So it was only natural that her death caused the rest of the village to panic.
“Whatarewegonnado?!? Whatarewegonnadon?!?” worried Rainbow Dash.
“Gee, I dunno,” said Apple Jack, “I’m plum, uh, I mean, apple, out of ideas.”
Pinkie just bounced around the town, periodically doing so upside down.

Suddenly, three even littler ponies appeared.
“You know what this story needs?” asked Sweetiebelle
“More supporting cast!” answered Apple Bloom and Scootaloo in unison.

“Hmph,” hmphed Silver Spoon.
“Like anyone really wants to hear from the Pootiedark Boofaders,” mocked Diamond Tiara.
“Hey, we’re full of ideas. Just listen to this song we’re going to sing now about how the Cutiemark Crusaders are always coming up with something new.”

::Insert Song Here::

“I reiterate my previous ‘hmph,’” said Silver Spoon.
“Aw, don’t listen to them” said Apple Jack, who had listened to them.
“That song was a gem” said Rainbowdash.
“Hey that rhymed!” observed Pinkie Pie.
Then all three had the exact same idea at the exact same time.
“Zecora!”

The ponies all rushed to the Everfree Forest, to seek out the aid of the crazy lady who is always speaking in rhyming couplets. Unfortunately for them, she was dead.

Nettiebarron Tirek. Died of embarrassment.
Inkarnit Twilight Sparkle. Killed by her love of reading.
yickit Fluttershy. Split up.
MelissaD Zecora. Rhymed her last couplet.
daneekasghost
kg2005
nibbish
rob
spookymilk
TDO
todahshy
Zee German

5 needed for a majority.

In honor of Melissa/Zecora’s death, the first person who is nominated (via e-mail to me) will be forced to speak only in rhyming couplets until 4 p.m.

It Is Day.

After successfully killing Tirek, the ponies felt pretty good about themselves, and took full advantage of Pinkie’s Party. That is to say, they all got really drunk. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders. It was completely irresponsible.

“Spike. Spike,” said Twilight Sparkle to the dragon sitting in the corner sulking, “Spike. You’re a good guy. Nnnnnif Rarity can’t see it, then ssshe’ss not, uh, the pony for you. Hey. Spike. Spike. Is a, uh, a pony even… like, Spike. Can you even… yaknow, with a pony?”
“Someday marriage equality will come to Ponyville.”
“Spike. Thasss a good point. Spike. I’m gonna say something.”

Twilight turned to the crowd.

“Everypony, I wanna say something. Spike… Spike… He’s… Spike.”
“Spike? The punch is spiked? OH MY GOODNESS, WHO SPIKED THE PUNCH?” Screamed Pinkie. “Just kidding! It was me, of course!”

Which made Pinkie feel incredibly guilty the next day, when they found that Twilight had wandered into a library later that night, where she was devoured by the wolf. Her magic had been completely useless, because of the drinking. Yes, our lead character was killed because she couldn’t hold her liquor. That’s what happens to bookworms. They read all day, and don’t party enough, and then they go to the library drunk one time and get turned into horseburgers. Let this be a lesson kids. Don’t read books.

Nettiebarron Tirek. Died of embarrassment.
Inkarnit Twilight Sparkle. Killed by her love of reading.
daneekasghost
kg2005
meat
MelissaD
rob
spookymilk
TDO
todahshy
yickit
Zee German

6 votes needed for majority.

It Is Day

The sleepy hamlet of Ponyville woke that morning to find that Mayor Mare had been brutally brutalized.
“I never!” said Rarity
“Now what bad apple done this?” asked Apple Jack
“Looks like Werewolves!” said Rainbow Dash
“For once, I’d say Rainbow Dash’s imagination isn’t flying away,” said Twilight, who was busy comparing the brutality to that depicted in her Compendium of Brutality and Mutilation.
“I saw a werewolf once,” said Pinkie Pie “IT WAS SO SCARY!”
“Thepoorwolvesareprobablyjusthungry,” said Fluttershy.
“What?” asked everyone else.
“Imeantheyprobablyjustneedsomeattention.”
“What?!?” asked everyone else, again.
“Wolvesarejustsuchsweetinnocentcreaturesjustmisunderstood.”

As the group was walking and talking they came across the body of Angel. Suddenly, Flutter shy turned angry.
Those monsters! Kill them! Burn their corpses! All wolves must die! Lynch! Lynch! Lynch!”

Players
daneekasghost
Inkarnit
kg2005
meat
MelissaD
nettiebarron
rob
spookymilk
TDO
todahshy
yickit
Zee German

It Is Day.
Nightfall will be at 9 p.m. Central.

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Your competition, and also you

HALL OF CHAMPIONS

SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR

I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

GODS AND MORTALS
I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

BIG BROTHER
I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie

FALL, CAESAR
2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

CUTTHROAT JUNCTION CHAMPION
Kelly “Yes, He’s a Player Too” Wells

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

THE ROYAL RUMBLE
2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise

PLAY WITH THE PROSE
(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

PUZZLE CHALLENGE
I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

DIPLOMACY
I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR XXII

TRAVELING WILLYB3RRI3S

Annette Barron
Dan Kautz
Christina Pepper
Zack Sauvageau

THE GRAVEYARD
18th: Laurel Ogren (T3AM)
17th: Raymond Camper (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
16th: Brooks Maki (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
15th: Melissa David (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
14th: Sarah Bizek (Willy)
13th: Colin Woolston (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
12th: Jeph Novak (T3AM)
11th: Shawn Ashley (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
10th: erik sunshine
9th: Ken Krouner
8th: Bret Highum
7th: Matt Novak
6th: Jared Cedar
5th: Jonathon Pope