You are currently browsing Beau’s articles.
nettiebarron: Diane Chambers, spread eagle
Colin Prime: Norm Peterson, still thirsty
strategery: Gary’s stooge, corner pocket
joepunman: Ernie Pantuso, kind of fuzzy
daneekasghost: Vera, was she ever really here?
MelissaD: Lilith Sternen, psyched out
mbnovak: Gary’s stooge, free falling
Spookymilk
nibbish
The Dread Pirate
todahshy
adobery
beezypoof
FOUR needed for majority. This will be Harry the Hat’s final day no matter what happens.
Night will fall at 9:00 pm again.
nettiebarron: Diane Chambers, spread eagle
Colin Prime: Norm Peterson, still thirsty
strategery: Gary’s stooge, corner pocket
joepunman: Ernie Pantuso, kind of fuzzy
daneekasghost: Vera, was she ever really here?
MelissaD: Lilith Sternen, psyched out
Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
The Dread Pirate
todahshy
adobery
beezypoof
FOUR needed for majority. Night will fall at 9:00 pm
Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
The Dread Pirate
todahshy
adobery
beezypoof
Five needed for majority. Nightfall will be 9 pm on Friday. Please don’t stay in the bar all night long. You may sleep anywhere you like.
Sam opened the bar on Wednesday morning, with Carla and Coach nervously waiting behind him. They turned on the lights and were relieved to see no immediate signs that anything was amiss. Several patrons were waiting to be let in.
“Ah, Carla, why don’t you let the customers in early. It’ll feel less spooky in here with some company.”
“No argument from me, Sam,” Carla replied, opening the doors.
Carla began serving immediately while Sam filled some bowls with pretzels and beer nuts. Coach returned from straightening up the back.
“So, Coach, everything seems normal enough around here today.”
“Yeah, Sam,” Coach said. “Everything is the way I left it last night. Oh, except there’s a dead guy on the pool table.”
Sam’s eyes bulged. “What?”
“Oh, and there’s a dart missing, too.” Coach said.
Carla grabbed Coach by the shirt collar. “Who’s the stiff, Coach?”
“Oh, it’s just one of Gary’s friends,” Coach said.
Carla turned to Sam. “Someone must have used a poisoned dart, Sammy. They saved us! What great hero came to our aid last night?”
“Sinatra!” yelled Al.
nettiebarron: Diane Chambers, spread eagle
Colin Prime: Norm Peterson, still thirsty
strategery: Gary’s stooge, corner pocket
Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
joepunman
The Dread Pirate
todahshy
daneekasghost
adobery
beezypoof
nettiebarron: Diane Chambers, spread eagle
Colin Prime: Norm Peterson, still thirsty
Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
joepunman
The Dread Pirate
strategery
todahshy
daneekasghost
adobery
beezypoof
“And that…” Diane Chambers beamed, cocking her head at her unsuspecting customers, “is when Chaucer cheekily proclaimed ‘That ain’t my Canterbury Tale'” Diane let out her high-pitched chortle, drowning out the laughter of nobody.
“Hey there,” Sam said, beckoning her to the bar. “I think you’re wearing them out with your comedy.”
Diane shimmied over and leaned in. “Like I wore you out last night?”
“Uh huh,” Sam smiled.
“It’s time for my break,” she winked. “Think I’ll take it in your office.”
Sam leaned against the bar and watched her disappear into his sanctuary. Then he leaned over and grinned at Norm and Cliff.
“Atta boy Sammy,” said Norm. “Have some more paperwork to catch up on?”
“Ho ho ho!” Cliff followed.
Sam just tapped the bar a couple times and jaunted over to his office. Upon opening the door, he let out a yelp. Diane was on his desk, spread eagle. Also, limp.
“Something wrong, Sam?” Cliff asked.
Sam fisted his balls in rage. “Dammit, Gary!” he yelled. “He does this every year. Pretends to kill all my friends, and then when I’ve completely cracked, he pops into the bar and has a good laugh at my expense. But not this year. This year, I’m going to catch that son of a bitch before that happens.”
“Is Diane all right,” Peter asks?
“Well, she looks dead,” Sam says. “But Gary will revive her and everyone else as soon as he thinks he’s won. I need you guys to help me catch him in the act. Any volunteers?”
“Well,” Frasier piped up. “Any man who can shut Diane up for a few days is a hero in my book. But, hell, I hate Gary almost as much. Where should we start?”
Game Structure: There will be no night wolf kills. After all, the bar is open at night! Every kill will be done via lynching. The wolves still win if they equal the number of remaining villagers (not including the neutral). The wolves will still get to talk strategy at night.
Sam Malone (Villager, Linchpin): Without Sam, everything at the bar falls apart. The patrons must do everything in their power to keep him around. If Sam is lynched, the wolves win. But! Sam is such a thoughtful and observant bartender that he can immediately sniff out any impostors. Sam has been notified who all the wolves are.
Norm Peterson (Villager, Angel): If Sam is gone, Norm will run out of free beer. Therefore, he’ll be trying extra hard to keep him alive. Norm will get a chance each night to protect another player the following day. He will notify the mod at night (including Night 0) about who he’d like to protect. He can protect the same player every day if he wants. After all, if he’s snuffed out Sam but the wolves haven’t, then more power to him. His identity will be revealed upon death.
Harry the Hat (Neutral): While Harry has a soft spot for Sam, this only goes as far as he can profit. And for him to be profit, he needs to con as many people as possible for as long as possible. Harry will know who he is, but his role will not be announced to anyone else. His job will be to try to keep the game going as long as possible, keeping Sam and the wolves alive. If he can make it until there are only 5 players (including himself) remaining, he will win and be removed from the game. If he is killed, his role will be revealed.
Gary and his friends (Wolves): There are no differences between the wolves. However, they all have one special power that will prevent Sam from role-claiming. At any point when there is only one wolf remaining, that wolf can decide to kill any villager on the spot. This is obviously a reckless move and designed only to prevent a role-claim. The wolf can also use it as a last ditch effort if he’s about to be lynched, but he must decide to do so before the majority vote against him is cast. The reason I’m only allowing this with one wolf left is so that the the first two wolves don’t get a chance for a “free shot” at Sam as they’re about to die. If Sam were to make his identity obvious, it will be the responsibility of the final wolf to catch this and kill him when the time comes.
Patrons
Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
joepunman
The Dread Pirate
strategery
Colin Prime
todahshy
daneekasghost
adobery
beezypoof
Hello!
Not sure what week yet but I plan to mod a game a werewolf and there are some new rules we’ve never played by before. Please read carefully before signing up!
Game Structure: There will be no night wolf kills. After all, the bar is open at night! Every kill will be done via lynching. The wolves will still get to talk strategy at night.
Sam Malone (Villager, Linchpin): Without Sam, everything at the bar falls apart. The patrons must do everything in their power to keep him around. If Sam is lynched, the wolves win. But! Sam is such a thoughtful and observant bartender that he can immediately sniff out any impostors. As such, Sam will be notified the identify of all wolves prior to the game’s beginning.
Norm Peterson (Villager, Angel): If Sam is gone, Norm will run out of free beer. Therefore, he’ll be trying extra hard to keep him alive. Norm will get a chance each night to protect another player the following day. He will notify the mod at night (including Night 0) about who he’d like to protect. He can protect the same player every day if he wants. After all, if he’s snuffed out Sam but the wolves haven’t, then more power to him. His identity will be revealed upon death.
Harry the Hat (Neutral): While Harry has a soft spot for Sam, this only goes as far as he can profit. And for him to be profit, he needs to con as many people as possible for as long as possible. Harry will know who he is, but his role will not be announced to anyone else. His job will be to try to keep the game going as long as possible, keeping Sam and the wolves alive. If he can make it until there are only two days remaining, he will win and be removed from the game. If he is killed, his role will be revealed.
Gary, John Allen Hill, Robin Colcord (Wolves): There are no differences between the wolves. However, they all have one special power that will prevent Sam from role-claiming. At any point when there is only one wolf remaining, that wolf can decide to kill any villager on the spot. This is obviously a reckless move and designed only to prevent a role-claim. The wolf can also use it as a last ditch effort if he’s about to be lynched, but he must decide to do so before the majority vote against him is cast. The reason I’m only allowing this with one wolf left is so that the the first two wolves don’t get a chance for a “free shot” at Sam as they’re about to die. If Sam were to make his identity obvious, it will be the responsibility of the final wolf to catch this and kill him when the time comes.
That’s it! This game could last one day or two weeks depending on how things go. Number of wolves can vary depending on how many people sign up.
Patrons
Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
joepunman
The Dread Pirate
strategery
Colin Prime
todahshy
daneekasghost
adobery
beezypoof (maybe)
Beau had the day off from being a social worker. So naturally he was trying to take babies away from parents. He approached spookymilk to play in Turbo Werewolf. Spooky said, “I’d love to, but I’m trying to sell some bitch-ass Panasonics hi-def flat-screens, wooooo!” Beau informed Spooky he was going to take his daughters away because he wanted 7 players for Turbo Werewolf. Spooky’s paternal slash lupine instincts took over. He transformed into the most unsightly beast anyone had ever seen (i.e. not much changed) and tore out Beau’s jugular.
Melissa Diamond, who was Beau’s social work back-up, jumped up from behind the rack of Kung Fu Panda 3 DVDs and did the Vulcan nerve pinch on Spooky. So well, in fact, that he died too. “How’s that for motivational interviewing, bitch!” Melissa roared.
It is day. There are four vanillagers and one wolf. Since we will have a maximum of just two days, the first day will last 60 minutes or until there’s a majority.
inkarnit
MelissaDiamond
nettiebarron
todahshy
violabeenice
Okay gang.
I suppose we can do this with as little as 5, though 7 would be ideal. I’m available until about 5 o’clock to mod, though I would be somewhat absent from 12:15 to 2:30 taking care of my kid.
If we have enough people who want to play by 11:30 am, I’ll start this.
Well, Prosers. It’s been a long season. A big season. And despite one of these writer’s wishes to the contrary, yours truly is still alive and well. Thank you for putting up with us cranky judges and giving a lot of fun stuff to read.
Oh? You want a winner. Let’s hope these assholes don’t tie.
Things you said