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For this challenge, writers were tasked to write a story that could believably appear on the Twilight Zone. A writer’s family obligations pushed this one back a couple of weeks, and then a death in my family pushed it another. Well, the way this season went, it’s hard to argue that this shouldn’t have happened at the end.

Here are your final results.

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This is the last post of Survivor XIX. I want to thank everyone for playing. A special thanks goes to the wonderful Survivor champion Christina Pepper for creating one of our new challenges and helping me decide on a few of the other ones. I also want to thank in particular Christina, Melissa, Pete, and Kelly for putting up with me ranting and complaining about the way this game was going on one or more occasions.

You already know the identities of all the pre-merge players. After the jump I will reveal the true identities of the jurors along with their votes for the winner.
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Well here we are, players, at the end of another fine, unpredictable game. If you haven’t listened to the Salmon Walk podcast announcing identities yet, you really should. If you have, do it again. I’ll be here when you’re done.



Welcome back from the podcast! Any other business for you to tend to? Okay, good. Let’s see who won this damn thing.

I think everyone knows this, but you want to see your name here. Votes are to name a winner.

Hope, who was never very hopeful, and Sass, who was never very sassy – are y’all ready for this?


Hope Martell


The History of Sass


The History of Sass


Hope Martell


The History of Sass

…….five votes without comments?! Oh well. 3-2 Sass so far.


My vote is 100% wholeheartedly for SASS. She took up the torch in my absence and in my opinion worked very hard and is deserving of the title. Thanks for the fun game, Kelly!


Hope Martell. The largest part of my reasoning is that I had absolutely zero contact with History of Sass, and it is difficult to vote for someone I have no insight on. I do regret that I didn’t speak with Sass. I look forward to opportunities in the future in which I can talk with the player behind Sass. That being said, it is definitely not the only reason why I pick Hope. Hope is correct in her statements, she played a very “Go with the flow” game for a while. If anyone asked me at the time of my demise to describe Hope, “Dominant” would not be used. That’s why I like that she’s here. You see, it’s not always the normal take-charge person that wins. It can be the mammal living underground that survives the meteor strike. This by no means says I’m calling Hope’s gameplay spineless. Quite the contrary, if everything she did was thought out as I believe it was, it’s pretty clever. That cleverness wins my vote. Can’t say I’ll be disappointed either way, though. Good luck to both! -Smash Hardwood Out-


In the Jury room I said whoever gives the better explanation of their game timeline (or something like that) would probably get my vote. I think I’m going to stick to that; but on a lot of levels I wished I had asked a few better questions. You both played tremendous games and it was a fun ride, but in the end I’m going to have to go with the person who I have a better understanding of: History of Sass. This isn’t an alliance thing, I mean she/he did try to vote me out and he/she and Reese were not on my dance card. I just have a better understanding of her game and see how she/he switched it on in the last couple of rounds. Hope I look forward to playing with you again. Like I said you both played great games, ones that I can only dream of.


Well played, both of you! This season was a lot of fun, and I’m glad that we have a couple of finalists who clearly fight to get where they are. In the end, though, Hope played the type of game that I can respect just a little more. She was loyal when she was able to be, cutthroat when she had to be, and took (in my opinion) the steps needed to ensure a spot in the end while never settling to be another player’s pawn. Nicely done, Hope.


Hope Martell. Fun Fact: Salmon can be extremely persuasive.

Well, well, well. We have a 5-5 tie with just a single vote to go. No pressure, Toothless Hustle.

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Hello one last time, Survivors. Did you know?: at 95 days, this was the third-shortest game in history. Pretty sweet, huh? Take notes, Novak. And no more tribe swaps. And no 14-person merges. And no more Annettes and Mollys. Am I getting off track here? I’m getting off track here. Let’s see who won this game, out of a pair of very strong competitors.

Here are the votes, which are named. You’ll note that some of these people wrote more than others. That’s cool, I guess. None of the jurors are Novak, so that keeps the word count down. WOOOOO, STRIKE AFTER STRIKE TO NOVAK’S STUPID ELVISH FACE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jerky Smuggler

Spacegirl-Gloom played a great game but Spacegirl worked harder and deserves the win IMO.

Groovy Loaf

Spacegirl, I wish I could give you my vote. If you had shown up at the final two with anybody else, I absolutely would have. The fact that you arrogantly assumed you could beat Gloom, means you’ve found a home at the House of Milk. Bunch of arrogant assholes, the lot of them (us). But you should have taken Gloom out instead of Trip. The fact that all three of you ignored the obvious and didn’t send one vote Gloom’s way, means that she played a brilliant game.

Gloom, just so you know, the newbie girl disguise lasted until the merge, but not much past it. But to your credit, I couldn’t seem to find a way to remedy my mistake. I cry foul at you trying to take any credit for the ouster of Claw (aside from the obvious), but it doesn’t really matter. Paranoia took care of him for you. Kelly will back me up, but it was always my goal to find you and become your ally because of our success in other games. So I got my wish and it was a great partnership for a really long time. Congrats on a great game.

My vote and my love goes to MILLICENT GLOOM.

Crusty Knuckles

I’ll vote for space girl. Well played

Unlimited Breadsticks

Millicent Gloom, you planned, executed, and evolved a great strategy and it took you to the end. The answers you gave coincided with your actions and proved that you had carefully planned each move, eventually leading you to orchestrate the final eliminations. I knew what you were capable of watching you discuss strategies during the pre-merge (and post-merge) game. You constantly weighed in on discussions, looking at the challenge from a different angle. This skill proved you to be a valuable asset to the team and is what made you successful in the post-merge challenges. Millicent Gloom, you have my vote.

Spacegirl Lucinda Wright, you would have had my vote if you could have proven to me that you had strategized as much as Gloom had from the beginning. I don’t believe you had as much control over the game as you stated you did. That being said, you still played a terrific game and clearly made the right decisions to be able to hang in until the end.

Cleansed Robotics

Spacegirl, I had a lot of issues with your game when I headed into the into the jury, but those have been largely cleared up. The comments in the jury room, along with your answers, have shown me that your game was excellent. You played actively and aggressively and your strategy was rock-solid. All nit-picking aside, you made only one serious mistake: choosing Gloom as your partner.

The thing is, Gloom’s game was jaw dropping. Spacegirl may have made it against terrible odds, but it’s a testament to Gloom’s expertise and the subtlety of his strategy that he appears to have coasted right on through. I thought I was getting decent at this game, but going up against Gloom showed me what top-level playing really looks like.

You are a great player, Spacegirl, and few people could have done better. Millicent Gloom is one of those people.
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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie

2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

Kelly “Yes, He’s a Player Too” Wells

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)



Annette Barron
Dan Kautz
Christina Pepper
Zack Sauvageau

18th: Laurel Ogren (T3AM)
17th: Raymond Camper (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
16th: Brooks Maki (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
15th: Melissa David (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
14th: Sarah Bizek (Willy)
13th: Colin Woolston (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
12th: Jeph Novak (T3AM)
11th: Shawn Ashley (Khan’s Sore Blueberries)
10th: erik sunshine
9th: Ken Krouner
8th: Bret Highum
7th: Matt Novak
6th: Jared Cedar
5th: Jonathon Pope