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For such a weird prompt, we ended up with some stories that were fairly grounded in reality (okay, one was a spy story, but it wasn’t bloated and extravagant). Three very different attacks made for a fun last read.

Thanks to Bernice Nicaise for being our gatherer this season, and to Brendan Bonham and Matthew Gilman for being just as irritatingly judgmental as I am, thus allowing this whole thing to work.

Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?

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Man, religion brings out the best in this crew every time. I wanted another medal to give. Gilman said the same. Brendan didn’t say it specifically, but he probably sent me a nonverbal cue that I should have noticed.

With the stories as strong as they were, scoring was a very interesting 9-6-6-6 affair (666 in the religious challenge…ahem).


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I have the results! I won’t make you wait.

Here they are.

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Lesson learned (though I’ll make the same mistake again): long word limits and short deadlines are a dangerous combination. Or maybe it was just poor timing. That’s not to say these stories were “bad,” by any means, but there was a lot more room for at least three of them to blossom.

One did blossom, though, to the tune of a triple-gold.

But whose?!

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Three different gold-getting stories this time, gang; we spread the love around to make sure a bunch of you felt special. It was a tight four-way race to immunity, but indeed, one person outscored the others with no tiebreaker necessary.

Side note: this was about as easy a time as I’ve ever had noticing who wrote what. I never do this intentionally, but it happens. DK and Annette were the two that I didn’t get right away, but through process of elimination I guessed correctly where they were sitting.

Let’s get experimental, dudes.

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War! Superpowers! Rainbow Calculators! Menial jobs! It’s all here, gang!

Thirteen pages is easier than thirty-three

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I’m glad I ran this one; it’s always a nice break from the norm to work in a much different style. We got everything from the traditional sonnet about beauty to the highly unorthodox sonnet about a killer prostitute.

Here’s what happened.

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You know, you can write tiebreaker rules, and still end up with ties. There are three immune parties, rather than two. For the next challenge, we’ll expand tiebreakers, just in case.

Some of you felt a little pressed for time here, but many of you used your words to the fullest.

Let’s see who did what.

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This challenge is hard. It occasionally showed, and to be sure, I think it was three different people who admitted huge difficulties with this one before sending it along. However, I read some incredible stuff as a result of this challenge, and medaling was a difficult task.

Enjoy the show.

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This is typically one of my favorite challenges, and call it an over-representation of the now, but I’m pretty sure this was my favorite slate of Bulwyr submissions ever. These are dynamite.

Oh, the pain.

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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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