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In which I talk to Matt Novak (Lean Mutton Morgan), Brooks Maki (Orlando Gloopgloop), Bret Highum (Miles O’Christ) and Conner Burke (Chubby Soup) about the GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME!!!!! Most of it is about the Core, but we go through every single elimination one by one and comment on it, often going on tangents with juicy tidbits. It’s 146 minutes long. Sorry about that, but when you get a bunch of us together, that’s what happens.

Alright, Survivors, here we go. Five or six of us did a Google Hangout last night, so all of us (including the winner) know who won. For the rest of you, here are the results.

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S: Ladies and gentlemen, we are at the end of a journey. We’ve seen nineteen fall (plus a few who joined the game and dropped out before it started), and soon, a champion will rise. Before that, I am embarking on a journey, passing the grave markers with the best and most dignified partner I could possibly find: Cleopatra Burlington.

Miss Cleo: I jus wanna than tha spoons for invitin mah alon for tha endin. This game, more ‘an any other that I can be rememberin, was interestin – mainly because mah cards were showin mah who was goin tah win before we was even startin.

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Yep, already. Enjoy.

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Alright, so who’s the last elimination before the jury takes over? After this vote, jurors (including the one created here), you’re free to get together your questions for the final two. It’s hard to enforce a time limit on that, but since I know most of you have been thinking of that kind of thing for a while, would tomorrow night by 9pm Central be a problem?

Finalists, you’ll then have a couple of days to answer each question and make a final plea.

Now to voting:

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It’s ALL HAPPENIIIIIIIIIING

The site is here, friends.

Lone local Survivor, you should come over here, bearing beer.

Meldon is on his way home, and then we’ll get started.

I think the final challenge will be tomorrow, friends. It could be late. Two Survivors are available all night, more or less, and the other doesn’t know exactly what time he’ll be available.

There will be a doc for non-players to follow along, and a doc for players only. Why don’t I give you the link to the non-player doc now (there’s nothing on it yet)?

Here it is.

If you want an email alert before it’s going to start, email me.

Vote One: Endoplasmic Paperbags.

“Like the gaming system Nintendo
I used to play with my friendo
I’d hope he would die
So I could give it a try
Thus, my vote is for Endo.”

Vote Two: Lean Mutton Morgan. “You continue to impress, you silver-tongued devil.”
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Well done speeding through that one, Survivors.

All the Survivors know how it went down already, so let’s not dawdle.

The Power of Bread won this challenge. Vote for someone else by tomorrow at 9pm Central. That might be needlessly long, but I’m not going to short you idiots on the last vote that requires more than one person.

The last challenge will take place on a single evening. We’ll figure out what night works when I know who’s still going to be around.

Okay, guys. Last time you played on an 8×8 board, but it wasn’t chess. This time it’s chess, but you’re not on an 8×8 board (it was going to be, but that idea had flaws, so here you are instead).
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Your competition, and also you

HALL OF CHAMPIONS

SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR

I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

GODS AND MORTALS
I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

BIG BROTHER
I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

FALL, CAESAR
2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

THE ROYAL RUMBLE
2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

PLAY WITH THE PROSE
(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

PUZZLE CHALLENGE
I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

DIPLOMACY
I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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