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It’s a long one, but it’s a good time.

The players: Kelly Wells, Brooks Maki, Annette Barron, Christina Pepper, Dan Kautz.

There’s a lot of Novak-cracking and we run through each elimination, giving them way more importance than they probably had. The wine flows freely, and so do the jokes. Pepper reveals her bedtime, and somehow we still manage to shoehorn in a few Bret jokes at the end. Enjoy!

The DK/Kelly podcast above is a damned long one that was done a long time ago, but it’s fun and contains a lot of insight/Novak jokes. Plus, I ramble drunkenly near the end, so you can laugh and point as I shake my head.

That one’s the Shawn one. It isn’t as long, but the audio’s a little scratchy and the timing was off and we talk over one another. It’s worth it, though, because we make a decent amount of dirty jokes and we talk about crazy people we knew in college. Not “funny” crazy. Like, legitimately crazy people.

Big Papa gets on the board with a short but sweet podcast that we conducted some time ago.

The recent Royal Rumble winner waxes on intimidation, getting back into writing and a whole lot of self-doubt. He also correctly predicts his seventh-place finish, four weeks before it happens.

One more (Shawn Ashley) will follow. I meant to do a Team Vajeen cast, but I haven’t. Whoops!


I really have no plan for midnight tonight, and was wondering if a silly, year-end CdL podcast could be in order. We can joke around about this year’s games and generally have a merry old time. I realize some of you might have plans, but if I know you as well as I think I do, you’d rather be doing this.

I get off work at 7:15 (that’s an hour earlier than the time most of you see on the clock right now). I’m good for maybe an hour after that, or even later, as the ball drops (tee hee). This might be a pipe dream, but it’s my only shot at a New Year’s party while not in Minnesota, so here we are.

As Brooks and Matt jockey over who knocks whom from the top spot, let’s remember that this is still my place, yeah? Damn straight. (It’s tough to resist the urge to make this a sticky post)

The audio doesn’t come through on Novak’s voice nearly enough, but the upside is that his feed keeps dropping, so DK and I just make jokes at his expense. I hadn’t yet realized that my webcam was producing all this static, so there’s some of that, but it’s worth it if you like Novak as much as we do!

I don’t remember who’s on part 3 (which is the end). Well, Shawn Ashley is on it, but I don’t remember who else.

First of all, apologies for some of the audio, particularly during the first half of the Melissa section. These were great fun to do during the Survivor XIII season, but for some reason, the audio is messed up on a few of them, particularly the early ones. In every pod, DK and I interview a different player between eliminations.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this one features Pete, Melissa and Brian. And maybe Novak? Hell, I don’t remember.

There are two more segments coming, with several people doing their first podcasts (Shawn Ashley!!!). Don’t get too excited, though, as she’s the only one of the top five who ended up doing one. Well, they were still fun.

At 24 minutes, it’s the shortest one I’ve put up. Keeping Novak (and, ahem, myself) under a half-hour is one of my greatest accomplishments.

What did we talk about? You tell me…I did this quite a while ago.

Next up is the very long DK/me podcast where we interviewed each other.

I was going to do all these as one podcast, but they were – ahem – getting a bit long. But hey, this is under half an hour!

Sarah Wreisner was one of the six people who made it to the Hall of Fame, and she’s the first one I interviewed. Primarily what I remember is that we had intensely annoying connection issues. We bullshat for about two hours after the podcasting was done, so I actually don’t remember what parts of the conversation were in this 25 minutes. I guess we’ll find out together!

I’ll probably put together a couple after this. Or, maybe not. I’m also having considerable trouble locating a long one where one Hall of Famer and I interviewed one another, so that’s awesome. Ugh.

I promised I wouldn’t make this as long as the XI roundtable. It’s, um, ten minutes shorter. Ahem.

Andy Rustleund, Brooks Maki, Bret Highum, Pete Bruzek and Will Young showed up for this. How much will I insult Will for my own amusement? How many times will Brooks have to drop out and then back in due to connection issues? How hard was Rusty to eliminate, and when it happened, was it actually the best decision? All this and more, Survivors.

Hall of Fame pods are coming soon.

I have to admit, this one felt slow while we were doing it, particularly when we were actually talking about the game, which was mostly bereft of strategy. However, upon listening to the first half, it’s lighthearted and fun, though out of nowhere, we (mostly I) swear kind of a lot.

The top five finishers in Survivor are present: Brooks Maki, John Wreisner, Matt Novak, Beau and Pete Bruzek. Wreisner repeatedly steals the show, owing to his devilish charm and wit.

It could stand some editing, but it’s an enjoyable enough listen. Any requests? We’re about to hit a wall here as I have no podcasts in the can.

Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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