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It’s another sunny morning in Taciturnsville. The villagers head towards the town square.

“What in the blazes is that?” someone asks.

In the middle of the square there is a dazzling light. A rainbow of colors radiate in every direction. A few of the braver villagers shield their eyes and cautiously approach the mound of light. As they get close enough, their bodies block out a little of the sun and it becomes clear it is a body. The body of violabeenice.

“It’s viola!” those nearest her shout. The others approach.

“Wow, so pretty.”

“Oooooh!”

“Yes, I don’t think I’ve seen a bullet-proof vest as beautiful as this one.”

 

Day ends at 9:30 p.m. 
6 votes needed for a majority, 3 minimum to be lynched.
Special Poster: Beau
Todahshy, TheDreadPirate, bhiggum, BigPapaJonTheElf are not allowed to make 10 word post.
1 post of 10 words or less for everyone else

Rules/Roles


Colin Prime
: Delinquent, Rebel without a cause paws
nibbish: Mason1, Not so secret meeting with Death
nettiebaron: Mason2, Not so secret meeting with Death
Beezy: Werewolf (Cub), Not left out of THIS loop
violabeenice: Blacksmith, Killed in a sequins of events

The village
Beau
bhiggum
BigPapaJonTheElf, Bodyguard
codefox, Courter
mbnovak
MelissaD
spookymilk
TDO
The Dread Pirate
todahshy

It is nearing 3 o’clock in the morning. The Dread Pirate has been a statue, hiding in the shadows outside of spookymilk’s house since dark. He decides spookymilk is safe for the night, and takes a few steps towards the road.

“Hello, Mr. Pirate,” he/she says.

The Dread Pirate sees a glowing pair of eyes staring at him from not ten feet away. He pulls out his trusty Swiss Army knife. He turns his head slightly to the left, not daring to take his eyes off the werewolf, and yells, “Don’t worry spookymilk! Stay inside! I’m not going to let him/her lay a filthy paw on you.”

He takes a defensive stance, knife at the ready. The wolf howls. The Dread Pirates lets out a furious yell of his own.

*********

Another morning has arrived. The villagers all gather in the square fearing the worst. There is another dead body lying face down in the square.

Melissa D takes one look at the body, then does a quick head count. Not liking her odds, she pulls out a can of spray paint, quickly tags the bulletin board with something lewd and hightails it for the forest shouting, “Gotta bounce, bitches!”

The villagers return their attention to the body. spookymilk sticks his shoe underneath and rolls it over.

“Fuckpillows, it’s The Dread Pirate” spookymilk curses, “Nibbish, what the hell man?! Why didn’t you kills Higgs?”

“Hey. I came by your place to talk about it and you were all like ‘Cowin won’t weave me awone. I too scared to come out and pway’,” counters Nibbish.

“Fuck you, Nibbish. I’m over 600 years old. I ain’t afraid of nuthin'” roars spookymilk.

“Guys. Will you two shut the hell up?” says Violabeenice. “I haven’t been able to hunt in days. Can we please get on with this?”

The wolves turn towards the villagers. Codefox reaches for his empty holster. Bhiggum rips open his shirt, proudly displaying his finely crafted bullet-proof vest. ash10101 makes some curious sign with his hands. They are ready(?) for battle. Who will win?

The wolves do. All is perfectly quiet in Taciturnsville once aga….

“HOWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!”

Bitches.

 

nettiebarron: Mayor, voted out of office
mbnovak: Courter, Heart broken
BigPapaJonTheElf: Priest, lynched mostly correctly
Beezy: Medium, lynched wolf-style
Todahshy: Apprentice Journalist, gunned down like by a fox
Beau: Mason 1, prop in a wolf taunt
Colin Prime: Journalist, gunned down in his peak heyday zenith something
The Dread Pirate:  Bodyguard, corkscrewed
Codefox: Gunsmith
Bhiggum: Blacksmith
ash10101: Mason 2

Melissa D: Delinquent

spookymilk: Ancient Wolf
Nibbish: Wolf Charmer
Violabeenice: Wolf Cub

Notes

Night / Day Actions

 

 

 

When should we play a turbo?

Thursday or Friday night are both good for me. Next week is terrible as I’ll be in Orlando.

8 or so on Thursday?
7 or so on Friday?

Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
The Dread Pirate
todahshy
adobery
beezypoof

Five needed for majority. Nightfall will be 9 pm on Friday. Please don’t stay in the bar all night long. You may sleep anywhere you like.

It was almost 8 in the morning, and one player noticed that Beau needed a hand with a post.

Thankfully, this was easy to do. This week’s episode was a clip show with no new content. Coach was dead. The bar moved on.

Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
The Dread Pirate
todahshy
daneekasghost
adobery
beezypoof

Five is a majority. Night is at 9.

Sam opened the bar on Wednesday morning, with Carla and Coach nervously waiting behind him. They turned on the lights and were relieved to see no immediate signs that anything was amiss. Several patrons were waiting to be let in.

“Ah, Carla, why don’t you let the customers in early. It’ll feel less spooky in here with some company.”

“No argument from me, Sam,” Carla replied, opening the doors.

Carla began serving immediately while Sam filled some bowls with pretzels and beer nuts. Coach returned from straightening up the back.

“So, Coach, everything seems normal enough around here today.”

“Yeah, Sam,” Coach said. “Everything is the way I left it last night. Oh, except there’s a dead guy on the pool table.”

Sam’s eyes bulged. “What?”

“Oh, and there’s a dart missing, too.” Coach said.

Carla grabbed Coach by the shirt collar. “Who’s the stiff, Coach?”

“Oh, it’s just one of Gary’s friends,” Coach said.

Carla turned to Sam. “Someone must have used a poisoned dart, Sammy. They saved us! What great hero came to our aid last night?”

“Sinatra!” yelled Al.

nettiebarron: Diane Chambers, spread eagle
Colin Prime: Norm Peterson, still thirsty
strategery: Gary’s stooge, corner pocket

Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
joepunman
The Dread Pirate
todahshy
daneekasghost
adobery
beezypoof

“And that…” Diane Chambers beamed, cocking her head at her unsuspecting customers, “is when Chaucer cheekily proclaimed ‘That ain’t my Canterbury Tale'” Diane let out her high-pitched chortle, drowning out the laughter of nobody. 

“Hey there,” Sam said, beckoning her to the bar. “I think you’re wearing them out with your comedy.”

Diane shimmied over and leaned in. “Like I wore you out last night?” 

“Uh huh,” Sam smiled. 

“It’s time for my break,” she winked. “Think I’ll take it in your office.” 

Sam leaned against the bar and watched her disappear into his sanctuary. Then he leaned over and grinned at Norm and Cliff. 

“Atta boy Sammy,” said Norm. “Have some more paperwork to catch up on?”  

“Ho ho ho!” Cliff followed. 

Sam just tapped the bar a couple times and jaunted over to his office. Upon opening the door, he let out a yelp. Diane was on his desk, spread eagle. Also, limp. 

“Something wrong, Sam?” Cliff asked. 

Sam fisted his balls in rage. “Dammit, Gary!” he yelled. “He does this every year. Pretends to kill all my friends, and then when I’ve completely cracked, he pops into the bar and has a good laugh at my expense. But not this year. This year, I’m going to catch that son of a bitch before that happens.”

“Is Diane all right,” Peter asks?

“Well, she looks dead,” Sam says. “But Gary will revive her and everyone else as soon as he thinks he’s won. I need you guys to help me catch him in the act. Any volunteers?”

“Well,” Frasier piped up. “Any man who can shut Diane up for a few days is a hero in my book. But, hell, I hate Gary almost as much. Where should we start?”

Game Structure: There will be no night wolf kills. After all, the bar is open at night! Every kill will be done via lynching. The wolves still win if they equal the number of remaining villagers (not including the neutral). The wolves will still get to talk strategy at night.

Sam Malone (Villager, Linchpin): Without Sam, everything at the bar falls apart. The patrons must do everything in their power to keep him around. If Sam is lynched, the wolves win. But! Sam is such a thoughtful and observant bartender that he can immediately sniff out any impostors. Sam has been notified who all the wolves are. 

Norm Peterson (Villager, Angel): If Sam is gone, Norm will run out of free beer. Therefore, he’ll be trying extra hard to keep him alive. Norm will get a chance each night to protect another player the following day. He will notify the mod at night (including Night 0) about who he’d like to protect. He can protect the same player every day if he wants. After all, if he’s snuffed out Sam but the wolves haven’t, then more power to him. His identity will be revealed upon death.

Harry the Hat (Neutral): While Harry has a soft spot for Sam, this only goes as far as he can profit. And for him to be profit, he needs to con as many people as possible for as long as possible. Harry will know who he is, but his role will not be announced to anyone else. His job will be to try to keep the game going as long as possible, keeping Sam and the wolves alive. If he can make it until there are only 5 players (including himself) remaining, he will win and be removed from the game. If he is killed, his role will be revealed.

Gary and his friends (Wolves): There are no differences between the wolves. However, they all have one special power that will prevent Sam from role-claiming. At any point when there is only one wolf remaining, that wolf can decide to kill any villager on the spot. This is obviously a reckless move and designed only to prevent a role-claim. The wolf can also use it as a last ditch effort if he’s about to be lynched, but he must decide to do so before the majority vote against him is cast. The reason I’m only allowing this with one wolf left is so that the the first two wolves don’t get a chance for a “free shot” at Sam as they’re about to die. If Sam were to make his identity obvious, it will be the responsibility of the final wolf to catch this and kill him when the time comes.

Patrons
Spookymilk
mbnovak
nibbish
MelissaD
joepunman
The Dread Pirate
strategery
Colin Prime
todahshy
daneekasghost
adobery
beezypoof

Our intrepid wolf made an intrepid decision. It was that DG should be the night kill. And so that’s what happened.

Ash Substitute Wolf.
Melissa She played, I guess?
Big Papa Pope Boring old villager
Nibbish Seer, Made his own bed.
Inkarnit Super Wolf. Laid in the bed Nibs made.
Codefox Villager, but less boring than Pope.
DG Like that guy ever accomplished anything anyway.
Todah
ZG
Spooky
Colin Prime
Nettie
KG
DPWY

4 votes is majority. Night is at 9 central.

It occurs to me that, if Ash hadn’t already been lynched as a wolf, right about now everyone would think that I’d made a game with only villagers. That is to say, the village would blame their inability to find a wolf on the mod, instead of pointing the finger where it squarely belongs: on themselves. I mean, really, village.

Anyway, I offer this introduction as a way of shielding myself from the bitter scorn the village is sure to feel when they wake up and learn that Nibbish, the Seer, has been killed. It went down like this:

Nibbish was walking through a cemetery on Halloween next to the abandoned summer camp, and whistling. The song was MC Hammer’s “Can’t Touch This.” It’s not a very whistle-friendly tune, but then, Nibbish isn’t a very whistle-friendly guy. Feeling like he must be perfectly indestructible because of the Angel, Nibbish decided to tempt fate by explicitly calling out “Come and get me wolves, I’m so nice and juicy and yummy.” But still the wolves didn’t come.

So Nibbish hopped into his car, refusing to wear his seat belt, driving 11 miles over the speed limit while tweeting @wolves, I’m so vulnerable, whatever shall I do?. Then, somewhat miraculously, he arrived home. He parked his car, got out the keys to his front door, picked his nose for a little bit, then unlocked the door, and crawled into bed. A bed which was full of wolves. A bed which he himself had made.

Ash Substitute Wolf.
Melissa She played, I guess?
Big Papa Pope Boring old villager
Nibbish Seer, Made his own bed.
DG
Todah
Inkarnit
Codefox
ZG
Spooky
Colin Prime
Nettie
KG
DPWY

6 is a majority.

I will be happy to do a day’s end early today (let’s say noon) if that is something the village is interested in, and then start a new day as soon after that as I’m able (will obviously depend on night moves being made).
I’d remind the village that we probably don’t want to continue this to next week, so making sure we’re ending by Friday is probably a good idea, right? That seems like getting 2 days in here or there might make sense.

Everyone showed up. Which taught us an important lesson: games with participation are better than those without. It’s a good thing there hasn’t ever been an issue with nonsubs around here. Anyway, everyone participating also gave the wolves lots of targets for night killing. The chose Melissa. Which seemed fine. She swears I’m her mortal enemy, but I gotta tell you, I’m barely even aware of her presence. So that’s a thing I’ve now said that will further cement my status as her mortal enemy, I guess. Anyway, she dead, and we can all move on with our werewolf lives.

Also, I’ll not confirm or deny how many saves the angel has left at any point in the game.

Ash Substitute Wolf.
Melissa She played, I guess?
DG
Todah
Inkarnit
Codefox
ZG
Spooky
Colin Prime
Nibbish
Nettie
KG
DPWY
Big Papa Pope

7 is majority, Night is at 9.

In honor of Melissa being such a good sport, I’m going to let her nominate someone who has to speak only as Melissa-played Survivor/Big Brother/Etc. characters until 3 today.

Your competition, and also you

HALL OF CHAMPIONS

SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR

I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

GODS AND MORTALS
I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

BIG BROTHER
I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

FALL, CAESAR
2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

THE ROYAL RUMBLE
2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

PLAY WITH THE PROSE
(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

PUZZLE CHALLENGE
I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

DIPLOMACY
I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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