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Alright, Survivors. It all comes down to this.

Vote 1:
As usual in anonymous survivor, there were a lot of shifting alliances but the finalists were the ones that had the most solid alliance. Excellent games by both Pie and Gaspar, I think you both deserve your spot at the final table.
I vote for Gaspar to win. He played a top tier game when his team wasn’t in a position of power. And then he played a very good game when he was in a position of power. While the Gaspar/Pie alliance no doubt had strategic contributions from both, Gaspar seemed more active in the strategy part of the game that involved other players.

Vote 2:
Eats a Lot of Pie

Hey Eatsy!
You’re wrong. You deserve to win.
Love ya!

Vote 3:
First, Pie. I had a lot of fun playing with you, and I’m glad to see that you seem to have enjoyed your time with the game. You did good. In keeping people on the side and showing patience, you proved that you’re going to be a force to be reckoned with in future games. Thanks for the good times.
Now, on to Gaspar (who has my vote, if that weren’t already obvious). We’ve been allied in pretty much every game the two of us have played, and I knew it would eventually come to this. I had hoped that there would be some thrilling involved in our endgame, with us scrambling in a mad dash to take each other out, but it wasn’t to be. Still, it was an absolute blast to watch your game from the sidelines. I know you were pretty concerned when I went, but you absolutely owned the game the whole way. Top-tier win, my friend. Beers are on me next time we meet.

Vote 4:
Congrats, Pie, on making it to the final two. It seems like that was your goal, so way to go! It’s not an easy game to maneuver and you managed to keep the paranoia at bay and make strong alliances. However, I cannot vote for you if you don’t want to win. I understand loyalty, but if you were playing to win, you would have gotten rid of Gaspar before the end. Gaspar would have understood that. It is NOT, after all, Gods and Mortals. That being said, it really doesn’t make a difference as clearly Gaspar played the stronger, more strategic game.
So my vote goes to Gaspar, but I do love me some Pie.

Vote 5:
Gaspar: He fought the good fight. And if Pie wants us to vote that way, even more of a reason!

Vote 6:
“Hey… Hey don’t you walk away from me! You don’t know who you’re dealing with! Don’t ever tell me what I can’t do, ever! This is destiny, this is destiny… This is my destiny! I’m supposed to do this, dammit! Don’t tell me what I can’t do! Don’t tell me what I can’t do! ”

Get up out of that wheelchair and claim your victory, John. I never doubted you.

Vote Gaspar Fopsworth Von Belsig

Vote 7:

Vote 8:
Rules were meant to be broken anyway. Well played and well deserved Gaspar.

Vote 9:
My vote is for Gaspar. Amazing quiz skills- damn you! (as I raise my arm and shake my little sandwich fist in outrage…….several minutes later, I sigh and shake my head.) Damn. Amazing game amigo.

Second place in Spookymilk Survivor XIV is: Eats A Lot Of Pie- CHRISTINA “PROM DATE” PEPPER.

And your winner of Spookymilk Survivor XIV is GASPAR FOPSWORTH VON BELSIG aka DAN “THE PROFESSIONAL” KAUTZ.

Pie played a fantastic game, not just for a rookie, but for anyone. Several times throughout the game she indicated to me that she felt lost. My response was always the same: You’re doing just fine, trust your instincts. Sure enough, those instincts led her to the end.

As for DK? Funny story: it was like pulling teeth to get Dan to play this game. Then, he hated the chat site so much he flirted with quitting (and may have, technically, at one point?). Then, he played one of the best all-around games I can imagine. He won challenges and had fantastic mini-game strategy. He put together incredibly strong alliances. He pitted threats against each other. The “best player never to win” has finally won. Congratulations, DK.

Here’s the link to the longest game’s longest game notes:

Okay, Survivors. You weathered a stream of bizarre nonsubs followed by a strong and unpredictable merge group. Time to see who put it together a little better. On this vote, you want to see your name.

Sarah Wreisner: Shawn! *Go Shawn!* I must vote Shawn… although, holy hell, Bizek made a great case. But I gotta stay true to my dawg! 🙂 CAPS LOCK SCREAMING ALL THE TIME USA! I love you guys, and thanks to everyone involved for another fun game.

Erik S: this was an extremely hard decision for me. as i’ve mentioned, i tend to put more weight on the writing than others, and shawn consistently killed it, including a long line of immunities towards the end after an already great season. and not to take anything away from sarah either, who also put out some awesome material, but i believe shawn has the edge there. also, shawn was a brimley, and brimleys gonna brimley. however, sarah played the more strategic game while also maintaining a great stream of writing, and that’s definitely worth a lot.

you add all this up, in a split decision (115-113, 113-115, and 115-113), by the narrowest of margins this judge gives his vote to super cool beezy.

Matt Novak: I love Shawn. We got each other to the end in IIX, she has written some of my favorite stories ever on the site, and her playfulness is awesome. I was impressed that her game took a step forward this time. I thought some of the strategy was bad strategy, but it was certainly present and active, and I appreciate that. Despite those points in Shawn’s favor, and the fact that I absolutely want to see her win this game someday, my vote is for Bizek. Survivor is a game where you’re almost always gonna get knocked down, and figuring out how to get back up is the one thing that impresses me more than meticulous planning. Bizek had a plan, it got derailed, but she regrouped. And for that reason, above all others, Sarah Bizek gets my vote for Sole Survivor.

Peter Bruzek: This was a great game. Pretty much everyone in the final few challenges had a claim at winning, and that has, to my knowledge, never been the case. Both finalists played a solid game and certainly deserve to be exactly where they are.

If Shawn had played her normal game, the back half of the game would’ve looked totally different. There’s a certain awesomeness to killing that which you would see dead and writing too damned well for anyone to do anything about it. Shawn took out a threat, then teamed up with his former ally and took out the next threat. It wasn’t always clean, but it worked. she came from a minority, scrapped her way to the top of the heap, then did the challenges well enough to where no one was able to catch her. Sarah, you also played a hell of a game, and it was fun as hell to watch the whole thing unfold, particularly the expert way that you adapted to everything thrown at you over the course of the game. This one was close – the closest vote I’ve been involved in so far.

In the end, I vote Shawn.

Bret Highum: Shawn did a lot of things very well- she wrote brilliantly, picked a great set of players to ally with, and stayed loyal to them the whole way. But Sarah also did all those things, plus won the tie-breaker that ultimately determined the final four. By the narrowest of margins, I vote for Sarah to win.

Margaret Martin: I want to tell you that my vote on Survivor is for Sarah Bizek. She was a good writer, dug her heels in and made things happen a couple of times during play, and answered the questions at the end thoughtfully.

[That’s a 4-2 vote, Survivors. Let’s go to the very wordy Jonathon Pope after the jump]
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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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