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Here are your final Grave Robbers results. If you’re good, I’ll share the moves with you after the game’s over so you can see just what the hell happened here.

Your elimination:

Booty Flood

Mustard Flood (Erik Sund…something)
Who Got Da Booty (Colin Wolfson)

Colin came out firing in his first-ever game here. He fired so hard, in fact, that the rest of the field became wary of him. Meanwhile, Erik felt overwhelmed by having a partner who was so aggressive and strong in challenges, though he ended up more than holding his own on his end of things until it was decided that this team was being muscled out. Well, they made it to the second to last challenge, and that ain’t bad.

In Have Fun Storming the Castle (it’s a movie line that I sincerely hope you recognize), you’re on a board with all five other players, trying to storm their castles or kill them by bringing them down to zero hit points before they do the same to you. We’re in deep nerdery now, folks.

This is the board you’ll be playing on, with your starting points marked.

Each of you has fifty hit points and will attempt to walk over to other castles to “conquer” the player in question and knock them from the game. You can also manage this by simply killing the player, which will render his castle moot. Castles cannot be recaptured, and once someone is conquered, his castle is gone (though his mines remain).

On each turn, you can move three spaces (or fewer, if you desire) and you can take one action. On the first turn, you must move off of your castle and cannot step back on it at any time.

Of course, it wouldn’t be half as interesting if you were all just wandering around out there with no defenses nor attacks. So, you can spend some or most of your hit points thusly:

Mines. Three HP per mine. They do 5 damage to everyone but you. You must leave a safe passage to your own castle, in any particular direction.

Mines stack damage. If two people set a mine on a single spot, it’s worth ten damage (you can stack your own mines as well). You can step on your own mines and be fine, but if someone else set a mine on the same space, you take their damage. You can place mines in the green spaces surrounding your own castle, but not on anyone else’s green space.

If a mine is triggered, everyone will know the damage done (though I won’t tell you how many HP each person has). However, the mine will remain active forever.

Arrows. Three HP per arrow. They do 3 damage and they always hit the targeted player.

Extra Movement. You can spend six HP to move four spaces per turn, or twelve HP to move five spaces per turn. This change would last for the entire game and is not a one-time application.

HP Shift. If you and your partner desire, you can move as little as 1 or as many as 49 HP from one to the other, leaving your totals at 99-1 (with the 99 obviously able to buy other stuff if he wants).

In each turn, you make a move (or not) and you can use a single arrow (or not).

That’s it, mostly. Points are distributed this way among all six of you: 30-20-10-7-4-1.

However, there are also going to be Headhunter Bonuses. If you eliminate someone either by killing them or storming their castle, you get 12 points. This can occur with arrows or mines. If you and anyone else kill someone at the same time, you split the headhunter bonus. You can receive a headhunter bonus for killing your own teammate.

Order of stuff is as follows: first move, second move, third move, arrows (if any). So if someone dies on a mine on the same turn you’re shooting an arrow at them, you’re not in on that kill (unless it was your mine, of course). If you die on the first step, and someone else dies on the same turn but the second step or later, they get more G&M points.

Like Diplomacy and other games, if you and anyone else attempt to step on the same space at the same time, neither of you will advance further.

As a matter of necessity, you will know everything that everyone does.

Your setup is due to me by Saturday night at 9pm Central. That’s a day off for me so I wish I’d been able to start before that, but I have to give you time to set up. If you all set up by tonight, I’ll be free to tabulate moves tomorrow. I guess this will have to be one move a night, which may take some time, unless we can really move on Sunday or Tuesday (my other days off). On days I work, I can’t get to the spreadsheet to tabulate.

The other option is getting people together live, which might be difficult (and slow) with six, but if we reach, say, three people, it might be doable.

I’m certain there will be questions and situations I haven’t considered. Let me know about them here. One thing I may need to do is amend movement rules later in the game if everyone hangs back and waits for others to step on mines.

Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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