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Hey everybody, do you like playing fun games?

Sure you, do. It’s unlikely that you’d be here if you hated fun and/or games.


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Here’s the final results after Round 4:

Marcelene Potatohead 27
Bill William 20
Bathhouse Dynamo 24

Billy Roid Rage 42
Lowetha Gruffleford 17
Alfredo Ricci 10
Buster Nipplechaps 10
Indignant Jenna Justice 10
Eammon McCord 9
Fruity the Bishop-Slapping Orange 9
Inflatable Boozeraven 5
Harlan Killings 4
Lenny Softbatch -6
Morgan the Tonedeaf -21

Hormonal Gopherbubbles -28
Orangutan Dreams -38
Amadeus Stankyleg -41

Billy R. and Morgan join the other players in bold above as our first set of Survivor XIX Immunity winners. Those eight players are safe and cannot be voted for at the upcoming Tribal Council.

Alfredo and Fruity missed this round. For Fruity, that’s the second missed submission this challenge, so Fruity joins Harlan in voting for themselves at this Tribal Council.

For the other 15 of you, vote for any of the 9 players who are not immune by emailing your vote to me by Monday evening at 8 PM Central. Remember, if you don’t send in a vote, you will also be voting for yourself instead. I will post the result of the first Survivor XIX elimination shortly after that. Good luck, Survivors.

Here’s the first round of Spread results:

Marcelene Potatohead 27
Eammon McCord 26
Billy Roid Rage 18
Buster Nipplechaps 9
Lenny Softbatch 8
Inflatable Boozeraven 4
Fruity the Bishop-Slapping Orange 4
Indignant Jenna Justice 4
Bill William 3
Bathhouse Dynamo 3
Harlan Killings 2
Lowetha Gruffleford 2
Morgan the Tonedeaf 1
Alfredo Ricci -5
Hormonal Gopherbubbles -8
Orangutan Dreams -21
Amadeus Stankyleg -41

As of now, at the end of the first round, Marcelene and Amadeus win Immunity and don’t have to submit for the rest of the challenge.

I got no submission from Boozeraven, Dynamo, Jenna, Harlan, and Morgan. As stated before, they’re all still in the challenge unless they miss another submission here. In the past I’ve had some issues (usually with one or two specific people) getting emails that were sent in time showing up in my Inbox right away, so if that sort of thing is happening now (or any time this season) we’ll adjust to that as it happens.

UPDATE: Aaaand Jenna’s email from this morning just showed up. Adjusted point totals are above. The Immunity winners stay the same.

UPDATE 2: The person playing as Dynamo has been replaced with a new player, so the first round strike against Dynamo will not count for the rest of the challenge.

Round 2 Results

A tight battle at the positive points end, somewhat less so down at the bottom.

Marcelene Potatohead 27

Bill William 20
Eammon McCord 18
Billy Roid Rage 14
Buster Nipplechaps 14
Bathhouse Dynamo 14
Indignant Jenna Justice 12
Inflatable Boozeraven 5
Fruity the Bishop-Slapping Orange 5
Harlan Killings 4
Alfredo Ricci 3
Lowetha Gruffleford 3
Lenny Softbatch 1
Morgan the Tonedeaf -8
Hormonal Gopherbubbles -16
Orangutan Dreams -38

Amadeus Stankyleg -41

Bill W. and Dreams join the prior two Immunity winners, and don’t have to submit for the rest of the challenge.

I got no submission this time from Harlan and Fruity. For Fruity, that’s the first, so it’s still in the challenge. For Harlan, that’s the second, so Harlan is out of the challenge and will be voting for himself at Tribal Council time.

We’re going to keep going and see how the second pair of rounds shake out, of course. Round 3, for the 12 of you left, is due Saturday (tomorrow) at noon Central.

Round 3 Results

Still very tight at the top, and a late rush made it closer at the bottom, too.

Marcelene Potatohead 27
Bill William 20

Bathhouse Dynamo 24
Buster Nipplechaps 23
Indignant Jenna Justice 21
Billy Roid Rage 17
Eammon McCord 13
Lowetha Gruffleford 11
Alfredo Ricci 10
Fruity the Bishop-Slapping Orange 9
Inflatable Boozeraven 5
Harlan Killings 4
Lenny Softbatch -6
Morgan the Tonedeaf -24
Hormonal Gopherbubbles -28

Orangutan Dreams -38
Amadeus Stankyleg -41

Dynamo and Bubbles join the previous four Immunity winners, and don’t have to submit for the last round of the challenge. Everybody submitted this time, yay!!

10 players left for the 4th and final round. That will be due Sunday evening at 8 pm Central so we can move to our regular evening-centered deadlines. Then the first Tribal Council vote will be due Monday evening.

Come on in, guys. After the longest pregame period…I think…for a game I’ve ever run, we’re ready to start Survivor XIX. Here’s the list of players in this game:

Alfredo Ricci
Amadeus Stankyleg
Bill William
Billy Roid Rage
Inflatable Boozeraven
Buster Nipplechaps
Orangutan Dreams
Bathhouse Dyanmo
Eammon McCord
Fruity the Bishop-Slapping Orange
Hormonal Gopherbubbles
Harlan Killings
Indignant Jenna Justice
Lenny Softbatch
Lowetha Gruffleford
Marcelene Potatohead
Morgan the Tonedeaf

Yes, there’s one big group of seventeen of you. We are starting this game as one big tribe. After this immunity challenge, all of you will vote someone out. More on that as we get to it.

As I asked many of you before about, we’re using Diplochat again this season. The link to the site is here. You’ll receive an email from me with your username and password. Head down to the bottom to the Survivor XIX Beach room. Keep in mind that ALL communication between players must take place on Diplochat. Do not send emails between each other outside the chat site. Your anonymous emails are for keeping your identity hidden from each other when I email you all at once, not for talking between yourselves. If it comes to my attention that any player is attempting or engaging in communication secretly through your emails outside the chat site, consequences will be swift and merciless.

Players have also recently (I mean, in BB2 at least) used the “chat with yourself” function in Diplochat to serve as a kind of Diary Room or Confessional spot, so they can talk about their game/strategy and let me or anyone else observing follow along with what they’re doing. Feel free to keep doing so in this game if you’d like.

Here’s your first Immunity Challenge of the season. It’s called The Spread, and I’m running it in honor of the first time I ran it, the very first challenge of BB1.

Everyone starts with zero points, and each “day”, everyone is given twenty points to spread around, positively or negatively. You can give or take away points from as many people as you want, but you can’t give or take away from yourself. You can only use whole integers; no half points or fractions.

For example, you could:

Give four points each to Alfredo, Amadeus, and Bill
Subtract three each from Billy and Boozeraven
Subtract two points from Buster.

There will be four “days” of spreading. At the end of each “day”, the player with the highest point total and the player with the lowest point total will each be immune, and won’t have to play in the rest of the challenge. So we’ll finish with eight players immune. The point totals will carry over from day to day, of course. If there’s any ties, the player who gained (or lost) the most points that “day” will get immunity. If that is also a tie, we’ll utilize the newly rebranded Survivor Randomizer to decide.

Nonsubs for this first one will be a little lenient. If you don’t submit once, you’ll be out of the running for immunity that “day”, but you’ll stay in the challenge. If you nonsub a second time here, you’ll be out of the challenge and will be voting for yourself come Tribal Council time.

Most deadlines this season are going to be at 8 PM Central in the evenings. However, to give you guys some time to get into Diplochat and start talking to each other, I’m setting the first “day” for this challenge to end at noon Central on Thursday. Send your first set of point spreads to me by that time. The next three “days” will probably be due at Friday noon, Saturday noon, and Sunday evening.

Get at me at dan dot kautz with any questions. Happy spreading, Survivors.

New Survivor Players: I have another site, Cutthroat Junction, where I run one-off challenges, unrelated to Spookymilk Survivor (but most of which will run there eventually, if they work) and October’s game is The Spread, one of my most popular games. n00bs and others, if you want in, let me know.

At Cutthroat Junction, you get points for each finish and eventually, high scorers get a shot at the Cutthroat Junction Championship Title, currently held by Peter “nibbish” Bruzek.


Here it is, folks: the most popular game on the CJ slate. Sign up here. It won’t be run in Spookymilk Survivor this time around, so if you need a fix, this is where you’ll get it.

Most of you should know this, but here’s how it works:

Everyone starts at zero points. On each turn, you will have a total of twenty points to add or subtract to people other than yourself (with a max of five per person, until later in the game). At the end of each turn, the person furthest away from zero will be eliminated. At the beginning of each subsequent turn, players keep their current point totals.

Huh, I’d forgotten how easy this was to explain. Maybe that’s one reason for its popularity? Anyway, sign up, CJ Faithful.

Alright, CdLites. With Fall, Caesar released and just eight people left in Survivor, I can get back to what really matters. Uh, Survivor.

The next one is an anonymous strategy game. Don’t worry, though: I’m running it, so it’s unlikely to take 166 days. Many of you have already more or less signed up, but you’re now able to snatch your desired alias from this list. Give me your five or more top choices, in order, and I’ll let you know what you got and will update the list periodically, pulling the names already chosen.

Email me, obviously; don’t post your plans to play nor your desired name here.

Like the writing season I’m currently running, my aim was to have a slate of nearly all new challenges, and I’m pretty excited about that (though about five favorites are returning). I won’t be capping the number of players, at least not initially, but I also know how fatigue can set in if ten people are out and nobody can see the end anywhere near. On the other hand, I’m constantly told that there’s no need to rush eliminations, so whatever.

As for the fact that some of you want an “open” strategy game, I think we’ll be doing The Gauntlet under our real names.

As for Diplochat…sigh. I loved it. Loved it. It’s easy to follow the game and the game mechanics that I have in mind for twists (like CURSED IMMUNITY IDOLS!!!!) work better with Diplochat in play. However, a lot of people were overwhelmed by it, and if enough people are against it, then hey…what is this site if not an attempt at fun? I’ll just scrap it if that’s the popular opinion. However, if I do this, I’ll be insistent upon people copying me in on things.

Names after the jump.

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First of all, Judas is a Carrot failed to show up for the second day in a row because playing games is for losers.  So, he’ll be a nonsub like Carla and Chubby.

So, how ’bout this final day?  It was pretty hilarious.  It seems people were so insistent upon Mariska not winning the low immunity, they decided she should win the high immunity instead.  Meanwhile, one person outlasted the others, just barely, in the low half.

The Power of Bread IMM 58
Lean Mutton Morgan IMM 79
Annika Greyskull IMM 80
Commissioner Goofypants IMM 58
Mariska Crookshanks IMM 31
Crispy Thomas 29
Miles O’Christ 21
Mitchell Happygrandpa 18
Meldon Dumpsterbucket 8
Endoplasmic Paperbags 3
Johnny Samplerplatter 1
Madeline Puppypickles -2
Horace the Load IMM -4
Cleavon Freshmix IMM -50
Elihu Farley IMM -41
Cleopatra Burlington IMM -66
Orlando Gloopgloop IMM -63

To those of you who won Immunity early – welcome back!  It’s time for y’all (besides Chubby, Carla and Judas) to vote.  They will self-vote.  And remember Immunity Idols and all that, if you think you need one.

Votes are due Saturday at 2pm Central.  That’s 2pm, folks.  Don’t forget.  Forgetfulness hasn’t been a big problem so far, right???  You can vote for anyone who doesn’t have Immunity listed here.  After I chuck the next body on the pile, I’ll get on with the next challenge, which will have either one or two deadlines, so you won’t be doing stuff every day.

Cheers, Survivors.

So, here’s the deal: I’ll just update this one as we go.  Tonight at 8, remember, is the next deadline.  It seems many people simply aren’t paying attention.

There were three nonsubs today.  Today.  In THIS challenge.  Are you kidding me, people?  Anyway, Endo, Carla and Chubby all get one strike for missing it.

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Alright, Survivors, we’ve reached the first elimination.  That’s it?  The first elimination?!  This game seems so damned serious already…

Anyway, let’s do this.

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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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