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It is nearing 3 o’clock in the morning. The Dread Pirate has been a statue, hiding in the shadows outside of spookymilk’s house since dark. He decides spookymilk is safe for the night, and takes a few steps towards the road.

“Hello, Mr. Pirate,” he/she says.

The Dread Pirate sees a glowing pair of eyes staring at him from not ten feet away. He pulls out his trusty Swiss Army knife. He turns his head slightly to the left, not daring to take his eyes off the werewolf, and yells, “Don’t worry spookymilk! Stay inside! I’m not going to let him/her lay a filthy paw on you.”

He takes a defensive stance, knife at the ready. The wolf howls. The Dread Pirates lets out a furious yell of his own.

*********

Another morning has arrived. The villagers all gather in the square fearing the worst. There is another dead body lying face down in the square.

Melissa D takes one look at the body, then does a quick head count. Not liking her odds, she pulls out a can of spray paint, quickly tags the bulletin board with something lewd and hightails it for the forest shouting, “Gotta bounce, bitches!”

The villagers return their attention to the body. spookymilk sticks his shoe underneath and rolls it over.

“Fuckpillows, it’s The Dread Pirate” spookymilk curses, “Nibbish, what the hell man?! Why didn’t you kills Higgs?”

“Hey. I came by your place to talk about it and you were all like ‘Cowin won’t weave me awone. I too scared to come out and pway’,” counters Nibbish.

“Fuck you, Nibbish. I’m over 600 years old. I ain’t afraid of nuthin'” roars spookymilk.

“Guys. Will you two shut the hell up?” says Violabeenice. “I haven’t been able to hunt in days. Can we please get on with this?”

The wolves turn towards the villagers. Codefox reaches for his empty holster. Bhiggum rips open his shirt, proudly displaying his finely crafted bullet-proof vest. ash10101 makes some curious sign with his hands. They are ready(?) for battle. Who will win?

The wolves do. All is perfectly quiet in Taciturnsville once aga….

“HOWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!”

Bitches.

 

nettiebarron: Mayor, voted out of office
mbnovak: Courter, Heart broken
BigPapaJonTheElf: Priest, lynched mostly correctly
Beezy: Medium, lynched wolf-style
Todahshy: Apprentice Journalist, gunned down like by a fox
Beau: Mason 1, prop in a wolf taunt
Colin Prime: Journalist, gunned down in his peak heyday zenith something
The Dread Pirate:  Bodyguard, corkscrewed
Codefox: Gunsmith
Bhiggum: Blacksmith
ash10101: Mason 2

Melissa D: Delinquent

spookymilk: Ancient Wolf
Nibbish: Wolf Charmer
Violabeenice: Wolf Cub

Notes

Night / Day Actions

 

 

 

The villagers all head to the square first thing in the morning to discuss a possible memorial service for Todahshy, and what to do about Codefox.

“Hey, who was supposed to bury Todahshy?” someone asks.

“I was,” says someone else, “I did it before dinner last night, why?”

“What! Then who the hell is that?”

The villagers walk over to the bulletin board where Todah was shot the day before. A body is lying face down in the dirt, exactly where Todahshy had been. Someone rolls him over and the villagers collectively gasp.

“It’s a wolf!” someone shouts joyfully.
“Oh heavens, that’s the scruffiest creature I’ve ever laid eyes on,” declares another.

The villagers are jubilant and start to exchange hugs and handshakes in celebration of the good news. They all begin to sing. There is but one skeptical villager who kneels down and takes a closer look at the furry face.

“Everybody. Everybody! Shut up! You fools, that’s Beau. Apparently he was growing out his mutton chops again.”

Day ends at 9 p.m.  5 votes needed for a majority, 3 minimum to be lynched.
Spooky has the option of making a special post today.

Rules/Roles

nettiebarron: Mayor, voted out of office
mbnovak: Courter, Heart broken
BigPapaJonTheElf: Priest, lynched mostly correctly
Beezy: villager, lynched wolf-style
Todahshy: villager, gunned down like by a fox
Beau: villager, prop in a wolf taunt

The village
spookymilk
codefox
bhiggum
violabeenice
ash10101
The Dread Pirate
Melissa D
Nibbish
Colin Prime

 

Some time in the middle of the night Beezy wakes up to her stomach rumbling.  

“Damn raccoon stew,” she mumbles to no one. She shuffles towards the bathroom, but stops, sensing someone is there. She freezes, and without turning around and asks, “Who’s there?”

“You know who,” they say.

“No, no I don’t have to know. Let’s just say I don’t know. I won’t tell anyone who you are. I promise!” she says frantically.

“It is too late for that,” he/she replies.

“No. C’mon! I always love a Novak death! You see? I’m on your side!”

“Come step up onto this chair please.”

Beezy still can’t bring herself to turn around, so one of the wolves picks her up and stands her up on the chair. Something is slipped around her neck and cinched tight.

“Don’t do this. I always love a….”

The chair had been kicked away and her neck snaps.

Day ends at 9 p.m.  6 votes needed for a majority, 3 minimum to be lynched.
Todahshy has the option of making a special post today.

Rules/Roles

nettiebarron: Mayor, voted out of office

mbnovak: Courter, Heart broken
BigPapaJonTheElf: Priest, lynched mostly correctly
Beezy: villager, lynched wolf-style

The village
spookymilk
codefox
bhiggum
violabeenice
Beau
ash10101
todahshy
The Dread Pirate
Melissa D
Nibbish
Colin Prime

Running his fingers through his hair and adjusting the carnation on his lapel one last time, mbnovak hesitantly knocked on the door. He glanced over both shoulders to see if anyone was around to witness his foolishness. Thankfully there was not. The windows were all aglow, the rest of the village tucked safely away, as he should be. The last of the day’s light was just disappearing below the horizon. He turned back to the door and raised his hand to knock again when the door opened a crack.

“I know this is not a great time, but I had to…I…I wanted to ask to ask you something important,” mbnovak blurted out.

“Well, come in then,” he/she said. mbnovak stepped through as the door opened wider. .

“I’m not interrupting your dinner or anything am I?” he asked.

“No, no, don’t be silly. What is it you had to ask me at this late hour? I am quite intrigued.” he/she said.

“Yes, well I know I shouldn’t be out this late, but this just couldn’t wait until morning. You see, I’ve been watching…no, I mean…I’ve been admiring you from…ugh. I sound like such a fool.”

“It’s alright. I believe I know why you’re here,” he/she said.

“You do?” asked mbnovak.

“Yes. I know I can be quite…charming. You are here to ask for my hand in marriage, no?”

“Yes. Yes, that’s exactly it. Oh, I’m all nerves. My heart is beating out of my chest right now,” mbnovak tittered.

“Let me see,” he/she said while placing a hand on mbnovak’s chest.

mbnovak looked down at the hand gently resting against his chest. He felt calmer already. He looked back up and stared at his/her face. Such beautiful eyes. mbnovak smiled. He/she returned the smile. Oh that smile, and…those fangs? mbnovak felt a sudden, excruciating pain in his chest, and crumpled to the floor.

The werewolf brought the still pulsing heart up to his/her face.

“He was not exaggerating,” he/she grinned.

Day ends at 9 p.m.  7 votes needed for a majority, 3 minimum to be lynched.
The Dread Pirate has the option of making a special post today.

Rules/Roles

nettiebarron: Mayor, voted out of office
mbnovak: Courter, Heart broken

The village
spookymilk
codefox
bhiggum
violabeenice
Beau
ash10101
todahshy
The Dread Pirate
Melissa D
BigPapaJonTheElf
Nibbish
Beezy
Colin Prime

Ridiculous. Unbalanced. Limiting. Boring. Ill-conceived.

These may all be words to describe this iteration of werewolf by the time it’s done. I wanted to try to create a version that could potentially be less stressful, less time consuming and be light-hearted. There will be no need to read through 100-200 posts each day and try to read between the lines. Why?

Because there will be virtually no talking in Taciturnsville*.

Read the rest of this entry »

Your competition, and also you

HALL OF CHAMPIONS

SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR

I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: Stacy “Fucking” Snell

GODS AND MORTALS
I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

BIG BROTHER
I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

FALL, CAESAR
2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

THE ROYAL RUMBLE
2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard
2019: #16 Jake “The Jabroni” Elliott

PLAY WITH THE PROSE
(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

PUZZLE CHALLENGE
I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

DIPLOMACY
I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

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