Take one if you want one, either here or in email. It’s almost certainly going to be anonymous.

We’ll also be playing a game of SHEEPLE after Big Brother, but before Survivor, by popular request.

Beau had the day off from being a social worker. So naturally he was trying to take babies away from parents. He approached spookymilk to play in Turbo Werewolf. Spooky said, “I’d love to, but I’m trying to sell some bitch-ass Panasonics hi-def flat-screens, wooooo!”  Beau informed Spooky he was going to take his daughters away because he wanted 7 players for Turbo Werewolf. Spooky’s paternal slash lupine instincts took over. He transformed into the most unsightly beast anyone had ever seen (i.e. not much changed) and tore out Beau’s jugular.

Melissa Diamond, who was Beau’s social work back-up, jumped up from behind the rack of Kung Fu Panda 3 DVDs and did the Vulcan nerve pinch on Spooky. So well, in fact, that he died too. “How’s that for motivational interviewing, bitch!” Melissa roared. 

It is day. There are four vanillagers and one wolf. Since we will have a maximum of just two days, the first day will last 60 minutes or until there’s a majority.


Okay gang.

I suppose we can do this with as little as 5, though 7 would be ideal. I’m available until about 5 o’clock to mod, though I would be somewhat absent from 12:15 to 2:30 taking care of my kid.

If we have enough people who want to play by 11:30 am, I’ll start this.

MelissaD curled up into a ball in the corner of the room.  As she replayed her past relationships with spookymilk and nibbish in her head, she took a vow of celibacy.  Or, at least, a vow of celibacy until she graduated.  The other students loved the downfall of their Prom Queen and ostracized her completely.  Rather than comfort her, they let her wallow in her misery.  In fact, no one noticed when the wolves killed her overnight.

Day one: inkarnit (village seer), not as cool as spooky
Night one: DG (villager), creating a spreadsheet
Day two: spookymilk (wolf), too cool for school
Night two: codefox (villager), marching to the beat of his own drummer
Day three: nibbish (villager), puttzing around
Night three: Violabeenice (villager), caught with an adverb
Day four: Beau (villager), promoting the scientific method
Night four: MelissaD (martyr), wallowing in her own freakish misery

Colin Prime

3 is a majority.  Night at 9pm.

Mrs. Jackson’s class tossed and turned struggling to find sleep.  When they were finally sleeping, the wolves awoke to choose their next prey.  The narrator struggled to brainstorm a good death scene, but then he remembered that Beau was playing again for the first time in a long time. Suddenly, Violabeenice was dead.

Day one: inkarnit (village seer), not as cool as spooky

Night one: DG (villager), creating a spreadsheet

Day two: spookymilk (wolf), too cool for school

Night two: codefox (villager), marching to the beat of his own drummer

Day three: nibbish (villager), puttzing around

Night three: Violabeenice (villager), caught with an adverb


Colin Prime






4 is a majority. Night at 9 pm.

“Why did we kill spookymilk?” codefox wondered.

“Um, because he was an obvious wolf,” the rest of the class responded.

codefox grumbled and went and sat in the corner.  He began tapping his foot to the march stuck in his head from band rehearsal two days ago.  He was annoyed that this crisis had prevented the marching band from practicing for several days.  While he was sitting alone, deep into song, the wolves struck swiftly.

Read the rest of this entry »

As sunset, MelissaD and spookymilk continued cuddling.  Mrs. Jackson locked the classroom, and students dozed off to sleep.

“If I die,” spookymilk whispered, “would you want to live without me?”

MelissaD didn’t respond at first.  “I’ve, uh, met someone else,” she finally stammered.  “He’s an exchange student.  He knows about things you can’t even imagine.”

“I’ll punch him,” spookymilk responded through gritted teeth.  “You’re going to be mine forever.  Who is he?  I want to meet him at the bleachers at noon.”

Their hushed conversation grew louder, and the commotion woke the other students.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Attention students,” the PA system interrupted class.

Beau’s eyes perked up.  This was his first day in school in years, and he did not remember mid-class announcements.  What could be so important?

“Principal Carruthers has an announcement,” his secretary explained.  Meat belched, rolled his eyes, turned to Violabeenice, and scoffed, “Whatever.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Grab your backpacks, form your cliques, it’s going to be totally awesome (or whatever it is kids these days say) to go to school.

Your roles:

3 wolves.  These aren’t the friendly Michael J. Fox-type.  Or, at least, they’re the Michael J. Fox Bright Lights, Big City-type.  One of the wolves even has the special ability to peer into the soul of all the students.

1 seer.  This classmate is perceptive and takes everything in.

1 martyr.  This classmate is so helpful and wanting to be liked that martyr will willingly die in place of another.  This role is like an angel except, instead of sparing a night kill, the martyr will replace the targeted person and die instead.

8 vanillagers.  I promise.  If I had learned I was modding a little earlier, maybe it would have been more creative, but, instead I was too busy in shop class loosening the nozzle of the blowtorch so Mr. Peterson will totally get burnt when he’s not paying attention.

I know this is a little strange, but because I sent roles out so late, I’ll allow both the seer and the wolf seer to make their night zero peeks up to 10am Central tomorrow morning (an hour into day) just so they’re not penalized for being away late on Sunday night.

If you didn’t hear from me, you’re probably a vanillager unless I royally screwed up.  Let’s hope that’s not the case.

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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel "The Double-Dealer" Flynn

II: Ryan "The Snake" Fossum

III: Patrick "The Gentleman" Kozicky

IV: Brienne "The Submitter" Maner

V: Rusty "The Porn Star" Greene

VI: Brooks "The Unlikely Hero" Maki

VII: William "The Soulful" Schuth

VIII: Brooks "The Survivor" Maki

IX: Zack "The Ice Cream Man" Sauvageau

X: Pete "The Vacuum Cleaner" Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks "The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens" Maki

XI: Matt "The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er" Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy "The Quiet Man" Rustleund

XIII: Sarah "Clarence's Hope" Bizek

XIV: Dan "The Professional" Kautz

XV: Christina "Assault And" Pepper

XVI: Matt "The First-Time Player" Novak

XVII: Stacy "Saintly Patience" Snell

XVIII: Brian "Checkmate" David

XIX: Annette "Eammon for the Top" Barron

I: Dragging Rivet's Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)

I: Brooks "Oh, for the Love of God" Maki
II: Michael "#DDB" Rivet
III: Pete "Fortune's Fool" Bruzek
IV: in progress

2014: Brooks "The Creator" Maki
2015: Matt "The Artist" Novak

Kelly "Yes, He's a Player Too" Wells

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg "The Gallant Glutton of Greatness" Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon "Big Papa" Pope
2015: #8 Christina "Am I in This?" Pepper
2016: #22 Annette "No Backs Stabbed" Barron

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah "Centipede Face" Johnson
II: Sarah "The Johnson Eliminator" Wreisner
III: Colin "Lonely Old Moon" Woolston
IV: Melissa "Not Sidebar Material" Diamond
V: Sama "No Family Reunions" Smith
VI: Sarah "Tumor Face" Wreisner
VII: John "Cult Following" Wreisner
VIII: Joshua "Peed the Bed" Longman

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew "The Obsessor" Gilman
I (Power): Kelly "The Novak-Destroyer" Wells

I: Matt "Exploiter of Worlds" Novak (France)


Stacy Snell
Annette Barron
Sharon B. Pierpont
Diane Pelletier
Erin Leslie
Tammy Renea Hipps
Melissa David
Jamie Frost


9th: Paul Schneider


10: Michael Deighton
11th: Ashton Stansel
12th: Chad Seal
13th: David Atkins
14th: Joe Dykehouse
15th: Chris Jojola
16th: Cory Brownrigg
17th: Allison Simmons
18th: Stephanie Daniels
19th: Jake Elliott
20th: Cheryl Ramirez
21st: Zach Schmidt
22nd: Ken Krouner
23rd: Adrian Miller
24th: Cheryl Jones
25th: Erin Lashua
26th: Shelbi Sarver


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