And here we are at last. Before we get to the votes, let’s take a moment to reflect on all those lost students who came to detention looking for guidance and were sent packing.

THE FALLEN

Chicken Little/Shannon Marie (28th Place)

The Original Heather/Brooks Maki (27th Place)

Studly Jock Muffin/Zack Sauvageau (26th Place)

Otto Eps/Husain Khuzema (25th Place)

Clarissa Hinch/Colin Woolston (24th Place)

Princess Penelope Pewwater/KJ Niehaus (23rd Place)

Legs Malloy/Mike Hebranko (22nd Place)

Mushroom Clyde/Michael Deighton (21st Place)

Brock Romanesco/Eric Schapp (20th Place)

Crazy Joe South/Susan Walker (19th Place)

Sweet Susie Dalton/Kari Berhow (18th Place)

Gary “Goose” Murdock/Jesse Vance (17th Place)

Diamond Dave Duper/Catherine Beer (16th Place)

Taurine Powerberry/Matthew Gilman (15th Place)

Slick Vicki/Michelle Pratt (14th Place)

And then we have our diligent jury. Well, some were diligent and some were surly. But ultimately, they all did their duty.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Time to hear from our fair finalists:

Her Highness Hildegaard

Well guys, congrats to all 3 of you!

Since I feel I have a halfway decent idea of how your game actually went, I’d love to hear one thing you’d have done differently if you could have and how that thing would’ve have increased your chances of being “Sole Survivor”.

Same question for all 3 of you.  Good Luck!!

Heatherr’s response:

I would’ve asked questions earlier about that goddamned zoo challenge that made no sense to me. Or I would’ve created a much bigger protest around the tie so that Cherry could pick you and I’d face Dom in the poison challenge. This final three would’ve been an amazing Princess finale, and I’m sad our friendship bracelets didn’t protect us from getting split up in the end.

Dom’s response:

I really would liked to have stopped Taurine taking the cursed Idol. Especially after I found out you get eliminated if you slip up. Also, talk to some of the other players. There were quite a few I didn’t end up talking to. I mean they never came to me, but I also didn’t go to them. My paranoia kept me thinking they felt too safe to worry about me and my game plan.

Cherry’s response:

I would have been a bit more social with my original tribe and made a better effort to speak to everyone post merge. I think that would have increased my chances of winning because I assume it’s what most people might not respect about my game. I’ll explain in some of my other answers my reasoning for this better.

Oliver Caulfield

Explain your thought process as it relates to certain jury members. To some degree you all seemed content to ignore some jurors. Was this a necessary evil, or a concerted effort to not sleep with the enemy?

Heatherr’s response:

I’m a social player. I try to talk to everyone. Some discussions didn’t get past the superficial niceties, maybe due to lack of trust on one or both sides. Some folks seemed uninterested in my attempts to build relationships. There was a point around the merge that I felt like I couldn’t get anyone to really talk and plot with me. I was convinced hardcore alliances existed, and I was in none of them. I’d strike up

conversations, and they’d go dead. Uber didn’t talk to me at all until I poked him 10 weeks into the game. Then I lost him by making Westside Story and Godfather references. It was after I think the second vote-out attempt on him that I was able to have more conversations with him, ironically.

Jan, I think you went out before conversations really lit up. Bumblebee, you kept trying to steal my backup prom date, so we clearly couldn’t talk much after the merge. Polly, I wanted to try a friendship with you. You’re very funny, and your giraffe gifs are top notch. But after the incident where you and Tayquan bamboozled me, it seemed like we were on different sides.

Ultimately, after a certain point, no matter how much you like people or want to be their ally, a person has to quiet down because you can accidentally say too much. So if I was unintentionally ignoring someone, it was probably due in part to practicing discretion. Otherwise, I will chat about anything, including sexy donuts. Which Oliver well remembers.

Dom’s response:

I guess I just didn’t reach out; I explained in Hildegaard’s question. With you I felt you seems to be safe with Polly and Xander and didn’t have any interest with me and what I was doing.

Cherry’s response:

I didn’t want to expose who Cherry was and don’t think I do a good job of that once I start talking a ton. So unless I felt in danger or that I needed to schmooze with someone to stay safe, I didn’t. Was this good social play, no. But I honestly think it was the only way I could get to the end in this game so I gave it a shot. I’m typically a very social player so this was my attempt to change up my gameplay and get to the end a different way, and possibly the only way I could of.

Dudgie O’Fritters

Congratulations for making it to the final 3, ladies.  I’m currently in jail awaiting my trial. They told me that I could post bail as long as I didn’t leave the state, but it was this or listen to my mom all day. Legs promised he’d feed my hamsters while I’m gone, which is clearly a good choice. I’ve had access to a radio to keep up to date with the school events, so I know what you three are all about right now.

The police are collecting evidence for my trial and they believe I didn’t commit all these crimes on my own. I’m not going to rat out anyone who may or may not have actually helped me, but turning in a few names will help reduce my sentence.

I know that in the girls second floor bathroom there’s a few empty cans of spray paint, a bag of black tar heroin, and a knife used for more than opening letters. Here’s my question to all 3 of you: When the police ask you about these 3 items, how will you talk your way out of it, making it seem as though the other two committed these crimes? You will need to refer back to techniques you used in your game (i.e. I would say I would talk to both cops, then call their police chief and talk to him, then ask the cops 1 on 1 what they think of their partners to breed mistrust. Uber would use his signed letter from the president, dismissing any and all past crimes committed). The person with the best answer will get my vote to win, and the other two will probably wind up in a holding cell next to me for another few weeks.

Heatherr’s response:

Bad boys are so hot. I’m sorry you were only my backup prom date but, you know, a girl’s gotta have a date that won’t be in prison on the big night. Meanwhile, what do I say to the cops?

“Officer McNulty — first, let me say, you definitely lost weight. Have you seen the Avengers movies? Yeah, you totally remind me of Captain America. Remember his muscles when he holds that helicopter back? Whew. I’m sweating just thinking about it, and boy are your muscles…eventually gonna get there.

Have you talked to Tayquan, by any chance? I hear he and Uber have been on the outs. I think he saw Dom with the black tar heroin. Tay is totally drug free, but Uber supports Dom in pretty much everything, and that’s strained the relationship with Tay. Tay can probably give you more info on Dom’s whereabouts because dude wants her out of this school before she corrupts us all. She’s shifty. She keeps saying she ‘works nights’, and we all know what that means. I mean, no judgment here. We’re a free country, right? But everyone knows that ‘night job’ means ‘I deal drugs all night and then inject horse urine into my biceps to make my muscles bigger for wrestling the next day’. Definitely ask Tay. DON’T talk to Uber, though. He’ll probably warn her, and she’ll be in fucking Australia by tomorrow morning. Who’s to say she’s not already there?

Oh, hello, Officer Moreland. The spray paint here on the bathroom wall? The one that says ‘Dudgie rules, Heatherr drools?’ Well, notice anybody MISSING right now? I’m here. Dudgie’s over there, screaming and threatening to flip tables. Xander is in a benzo-coma. Oliver is…I think he’s having a private conversation with himself? He’s definitely stroking his hair too much to be thinking about anybody else. You know who’s not here, though? CHERRY. You know what I hear she does for an after school job? She spray paints bathrooms. You know who her first choice was for prom date? Dudgie. Know who is currently going to prom with Dudgie because her first date is passed out over there and probably won’t wake up? HEATHERR. See what I’m throwing at the wall here? We’re in a bathroom, so it’s shit. I’m throwing shit at the wall, and you know what stuck? Cherry’s and Dom’s guilt. You should probably arrest them. I’ll stay out of your way.

Oh hello. Another cop has shown up. I’m sorry, what was that, Officer Annette Barron? Tayquan is dead, and something’s on my hands? Officer Barron, this is clearly Urban Decay’s latest nail polish: Mottled Blood. Painting the nails on my right hand is really hard, so I know it kinda looks like I painted my whole hand in Mottled Blood. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Tayquan and I were kinda frenemies. He was clearly trying to oust me from prom queen status so that Polly could get it instead, and that was definitely not good for me. Yeah, I know that he knew all sorts of weird secrets about me like how I’m immune to peanuts and votes, and I know he was spreading those rumors to Cherry, who was telling Dudgie, but…okay, fuck it, yeah, I stabbed him. Me and only me. Hilde is innocent. You know what, though? I stabbed him, but I didn’t kill him. This terrible world we live in was ultimately what killed him. It’s what will kill us all.

Will those handcuffs hurt?”

Dom’s response:

First of all Id tell the police I had a witness to my whereabouts; I was definitely in the gym doing squats. I’d turn around and let them see my rounded perfect bottom and pull off a few diver bomb burpees.

Mostly I’d just talk to the police to gain their trust and show them that I’m loyal in helping them.  I point out how no one ever suspect’s a butterfly and the way that Cherry’s quietness is very much like a butterfly and I also point out that Heather had to steal 2 extra Rs for her name to have any importance. So obviously she is already in the crime game and her Boyfriend Xander being a basket case would obviously have good ways to hide the evidence so maybe look there.

Cherry’s response:

I’m going to bypass talking my way out of it and do what I can do to lessen your sentence. If that means confessing to crimes I didn’t commit to make your stay shorter, I will.

Hoyt Lozenge

Cherry:  How can you explain your abject lack of participation during the tribe section of this game? Given you vanished for days on end, why should I still say you’re the most deserving to win?

Dom: What was your strategy overall in this game and how did it change as the game progressed?

Heatherr: Who would you say your closest allies and biggest enemies were in this game? What is the part of your game you are least proud of?

Everyone: You and your most loyal ally have two drinks in front of you: One is poisoned and will kill you instantly. they look, smell, and taste the same in every way. At least one cup must be drunk. How do you proceed? You’re trapped in a basement that’s filling up with water and your leg is caught. It’s filling fast and your only hope of escape is the window above you. There’s a zombie coming at you, ready to make a sandwich out of your face. You have only 2 things within reach to use. You must use one to fight the zombie, but using it will render it useless in your escape from the basement. The other must be used in some way after killing the zombie. The two items are a flotation device and a baby harp seal. What do you do, and why? What is one word you would use to describe your relationship with each of the other finalists and why?

Heatherr’s responses:

My closest allies from very early on were Hilde and Xander. Hilde was ride or die before merge, but Xander and I talked enough before merge, too, and he was consistent. Dudgie and I were pretty good allies, but I’m sorry, Dudgie. You were a better shield than a prom date. It hurts my heart to say it. You were also likely to win this game if you stayed. You’re less dangerous in prison.

I wouldn’t call anyone an enemy. I think Tayquan would agree, though, that our relationship got a little…competitive…as we moved later into the game. By that point, he was most likely to ruin everything for me, though, so he was naturally going to be a source of frustration.

I’m least proud of how terrible I am at mini-games and how much I have to rely on my social game to get anywhere. Goddamned zoo animals. Were we supposed to feed them? I’ll never know.

As for the poison drink situation: Luckily, I spent the last few years building an immunity to iocane powder.

In the basement situation: We’ll all be fine. Zombies can’t swim, and it’s well known that, post bloat, corpses sink. So the water will lift me to the window, and I’ll climb out while the zombie sits on the basement floor wondering where its face sandwich went. The flotation device will then be used when I go swimming with the harp seal, who will be used for friendship.

My one word for my relationship with the other two finalists: Awesome. I like them both. I’m happy to be facing off with them. Cherry’s a princess, and Dom has access to black tar heroin. I call that a recipe for perfection.

Dom’s responses:

Give it to Uber and tell him that drinking it will give you an Idol.

Well obviously the baby harp seal has a sore back today so he can’t help me get out of the water

So I’d have to use a floatation device but I’d be filling up the floatation device with the helium from the cylinder that I found in the corner after I got my foot free after the the Seal and I defeated the zombie.
So what you didn’t know about the baby harp seal is that he used to be part of the US seal squad. He was also equipped with a bazooka so I get him to bring out his bazooka that shoots Narwhals. The Narwhal will impale the zombie therefor killing him then the seal will go home to put a heat pack on his back and rest up with a good bourbon. I would catch up with him afterwards once I escaped through the window. I attached a string to my floatation device then gave it to the seal as a thank you gift.

Cherry – hurt. I fought with alot of people early on in merge not to vote her. Due to her being absent a lot pre merge I thought I could use her as an ally. Then I found out she was relaying info, etc. We stopped contact soon after till the last 2/3 rounds.

• Heatherr – New. We have only really started talking these last few rounds. I gave her a cucumber many rounds ago and she seemed more interested in that then talking to me.

Cherry’s responses:

Hoyt, I wish I had a good answer to explain my lack of participation and make you feel better about voting for me. Rather than feed you some bs, I’m just going to be honest with you. When I was asked to play this game, I was in a f4 of another game. I agreed to play under the stipulation that the other game could end before this one started. Annette/Bernice jumped the gun and started before it ended though. It was too much to focus on trying to win that game and being a brand new social butterfly in this one at the beginning. And then when the game ended so dramatically, I was honestly just burnt out from playing so hard there for a moment. On top of that I took a few road trip vacations as well which made it difficult to be chatty. I never did nonshrub though, I just wasn’t talking. All hands on the table, I did apologize to our amazing hosts for being so inactive during the first part of this game and my reasons were kinda lame in retrospect but you can’t turn back time and I was not feeling it at the start. Once we hit merge though, I woke up and used the way I played the first part to the best of my abilities. I knew the other princesses weren’t fans of me post merge so right away we weren’t seen as a group by the others, and I was able to schmooze the right people into thinking I would never come after or vote against them and then woo the other 2 princesses back once the other tribes ate each other up enough to where we would be majority again. So you should vote for me because I turned crappy first ⅓ gameplay into a last ⅔ gameplay winning strategy.

The drinks. I’d split one drink with my ally. Either we chose right and both live or hopefully even if choosing wrong, only drinking half will dilute the poison enough so we both still live.

Zombie. This situation is way complicaticted. I would panic and die.

Dom: Broken, Dom was one of my best friends early on in merge and was bummed when I broke her trust not voting with her side. She was smart to be weary about me from that point on though. From that point on I felt like Dom more than anyone knew I was full of wishy washy shit.

Double R: Paranoid: Maybe it was a front put on for my benefit or other reasons but rr was always very nervous everything was going to go wrong at any moment in our talks. We did admit to knowing who each other were in diplo early on though so that might have pushed her into never trusting me specifically.

Now that I’ve answered all the jury questions, oh wait, those were just Hoyt’s 🙂

Uber Lyft

  1. Cherry – Nothing for you.
  2. Dom – You were my girl to the end. When I play, even if it may hurt me I won’t vote partner out just to “look good” to the other people.
  3. Heather – Clearly you did something right.

No questions. Good luck

Heatherr’s response:

Thanks. I know we lamented together about how no one seemed to want to make big moves but would just vote with the majority. That bothered me for awhile, too. I had two idols and wanted to do something dramatic with them like you did, but the opportunity never arose. I was planning the big Dudgie move, though, and couldn’t tell you at the time. When you went out shouting that Dudgie was going to fuck us all over, I figured you’d see him soon in the jury and maybe that would make you feel better. Now I like to think the two of you are hugging it out in the jury room. That’s absolutely what’s happening, right? Juries are like heaven. Everyone’s happy, singing hymns, and glowing.

Dom’s response:

That’s fine, I play with loyalty and trust if I’m showed the same I will reciprocate but
Keeping not 1 but 2 idols from your partner is sure to have some reciprocation.

Cherry’s response:

Nothing for me but I have something for you. Even if I don’t win this game, I am glad I can at least take solace in the fact that you were able to stick to your moral high ground AND not compromise your personal ethics. (Google Docs won’t let me insert the eye roll emoji from my phone here)

Polly Flappyhands

My question is for all three finalists: What do you feel is your greatest achievement in this game? What did you do that makes your game stand out from the other two finalists?

Heatherr’s response:

The most hilarious achievement (which is kinda like “greatest”) was the second idol. I got the first one from Brock, who knew he was getting voted out and offered it up to whomever made a comment he liked. The second one, though, was in the outfit challenge pre-merge where we had to go through drawers to create colorful outfits. Cherry was almost always absent but was showing up long enough to copy and paste what she was getting out of drawers and then do whatever we asked. She was so absent, though, that she didn’t notice she’d copied-and-pasted the contents of a drawer that included an idol. I didn’t think it could be possible that she didn’t see it, or that Hilde (who mentioned seeing it) didn’t take it. But I asked Dick for it anyway, and the idol was mine. I wonder to this day whether Cherry ever knew that idol was there. I wonder, too, why Hilde didn’t immediately grab it. I wonder, three, how all the princesses knew two idols existed between us but didn’t seem to realize I had them both.

In comparison to the other two players, I guess the only thing I did that stood out was consistently show up and never promise anybody I wouldn’t vote for them. Even with Tayquan and Uber, I wasn’t as shifty as could’ve been possible. I know Dick thinks I’m the world’s lyingest lying backstabber in general, but I was definitely not that this game. I did my best to sew relationships with anyone who’d chat with me, which helps open up lots of avenues of communication. Survivor is like being a high school girl all over again. Or party of a 17th century royal court. Same thing, basically. You need to know everyone’s moves, make sure you’re connected to everyone so you don’t miss something, and hope that you’re liked enough that, should the queen get mad, your friends can deflect her anger elsewhere.

Dom’s responses:

• Making it to the end without lying to anyone and being loyal to the few that were loyal back.

My social game was there from the start I made sure I was social with at least one person from every tribe so when merge came I could be safe within the group. I showed loyalty to my alliance right up until the end where I knew there was no hope for the alliance to continue and I would lose my game also if I didn’t vote the other way.

Cherry’s responses:

My greatest achievement I would say is convincing the princesses that I could indeed be trusted again after such a rocky start. Not my greatest achievement but I do believe my back to back immunity wins and my final immunity tie were kinda cool too.

Bumblebee Zephyr Jones

My question for Dominique and Cherry is: Tell me something I don’t know about you and your game. Should be easy.

My question for Heatherr is: Tell me something I don’t know about you and your game. Should be difficult.

Heatherr’s response:

I stole your man. Boom.

Other little known fact: I was plotting very early on to take out Dudgie. (Sorry, Dudgie). He was very useful, but I did my best to plant seeds about voting him out for quite awhile so that, when the time came, it didn’t seem hard to do. Everyone else probably had the same plan, but I’m going to pretend it was all my idea.

Dom’s response:

I accidentally went into the males lockers once I saw Brian in a towel. I turned and ran out as fast as possible. I also never paid attention in English class…hence my horrible writing and spelling skills. I had several conversations with people on whether you are female or male.

And I liked your second top stripe the best.
All the other stuff has been explained in other answers

Cherry’s response:

Bee, you don’t know that I’m a huge Disney nerd and at one point in the game I wrote and sang a Disney princess parody song. I’m very proud and have only been able to play it for our hosts as of yet. But seriously, you might not of known that I was so loyal to the other princesses again post merge. Nothing is ever set it stone 100% for me in games. That being said, I was loving our post merge relationship and no matter if I agreed to vote one of them out, I never seriously considered it.

Xander Xanax

Cherry: Some one would say your game lacked the social aspect. Can you describe how you used the social game to your advantage?

Heather: You were supposed to be my prom date. You stuck with me when everyone else turned on me. Yet it didn’t seem to come down on you at all. Describe your thought process when you saw the outcome of that vote and how you enacted the measures needed to survive.

Dom: Convince me you weren’t Uber’s side piece the entire game.

Heatherr’s response:

I was annoyed and devastated by that vote. But (and this is gonna sound super slutty), I kept my options open. I told you I had a back-up prom date, and I told Dudgie he was that backup.  I know it was a funny play on the 80s high school theme, but I was saying that you were my hope for final 3 with Hilde…and that I’d keep Dudgie on the back burner if things went bad. Meanwhile, Hilde and I had been together from early on. She would’ve been my actual prom date, but the 80s weren’t LGBTQ friendly, so you were my beard. Regardless, when Dudgie took you out, he probably saw it as saving me from myself, and he scooped up poor lonely me who had, per high school rumor, been wrapped around your little finger. I wasn’t seen as dangerous at that point. Whereas you apparently were. Meanwhile, Hilde had sewn her own relationships, so I could rely on her talking people off any vote that didn’t help us. And Cherry and I got to bond over both being left out of the “vote Xander” plan.

Secret: I pretended afterwards that I didn’t care you were out, but if I had heard voting you out was a serious option, I would’ve given you one of my idols. I had dreams for us. But your ghost told me it wanted me to move on, live my life, and be happy. *wipes away single tear* Go into the light, Xander. I’m okay now. Go into the light.

Dom’s response:

I don’t work as a side piece. There were many times I’d fight with Uber after being told what to do. I played my own game along side him. He threw out many names along the way which I wouldn’t have a bar of as they were valuable to my game. There was even one comp I took Ubers finds and gave then to Dudgie so he could score as I knew there was talk of throwing his name out there during tc and I guess if I was his side piece, why would I have still survived so long without him?

Cherry’s response:

It did lack the social aspect, no offense taken. Once I found myself in that roll I used it to my advantage by looking as worthless as possible to some but doing a good job of making the few I talked to feel comfortable enough not to ever worry about me until it became too late. I felt like both Uber and Tay felt very safe from me until it was too late for example. I had a real good time talking to them both when I would too. I used it to my advantage in my talks with the other princesses once it came out in the open who we were as well. And in a worse case scenario where I couldn’t win the final challenge, I thought my seemingly crap social would be a strong reason to talk my way into the f3.

Trashcan Jan

To all three: Convince me why you should get my vote over the other two finalists.

Heatherr’s response:

This is hard because building myself up is not natural for me, and tearing my opponents down sounds gross. All I can say, I suppose, is that I showed up and put the work in. Cherry would probably be the first to say she was not present most of the game. I don’t know what Dom was up to most of the time. I do know that, in the end, she seemed to acknowledge that, if not for her amazing zookeeping skills, she would not be here. I look forward to seeing her answers to these questions, though. I’ve had the pleasure of being her ride or die in the past, and she’s a fun ally. She’s capable of pulling off great hijinx. Did she do it this game? I’m not sure. I’ll let you decide.

Is this where I give you a rose?

Dom’s response:

Sorry we didn’t Talk more Jan, I know bumblebee was lost when you left. I feel we have all played a different game from each other. But I’ve been active in main chat and shown my social game from day dot. Where from my views the other 2 have only come out since merge….or not at all.

I’ve fought nail and tooth socially to be where I am today since i lost all strong alliances long ago. My comp skills are not great so I’ve relied on my social and trusting skills to gain my place here.

Cherry’s response:

It did lack the social aspect, no offense taken. Once I found myself in that roll I used it to my advantage by looking as worthless as possible to some but doing a good job of making the few I talked to feel comfortable enough not to ever worry about me until it became too late. I felt like both Uber and Tay felt very safe from me until it was too late for example. I had a real good time talking to them both when I would too. I used it to my advantage in my talks with the other princesses once it came out in the open who we were as well. And in a worse case scenario where I couldn’t win the final challenge, I thought my seemingly crap social would be a strong reason to talk my way into the f3.

Tayquan Robison

Pick a number between 1 and 15.

Heatherr’s response:

42

Dom’s response:

I hate being told what too do, I’m rebelling and you get no number. This question is wishy washy….. 1

Cherry’s response:

3.  Love the Greg Buis question. I almost legit went 100% with you just for firing back solidly to my Peter Gabriel reference in our chats.

HEATHERR’S FINAL PLEA

I don’t know what to say here that hasn’t been said already. Thanks for being a fun “cast”. I’ve played ORGs in the past where people get super testy, and even the jury questions are mean. I’ve been in about 800 juries, and they can get dramatic. I have been personally ripped to shreds by jurors. You don’t seem messy, and while playing the game, I rarely felt people were taking things too seriously, being bullies, making choices based off preconceived notions of who was playing, etc etc. I don’t feel like friendships will end, or I’ll be given the silent treatment for 6 months because of a particular play. Yes, this game could get emotional (don’t read my diary room because I may have flipped out a few times in there, and I may have developed an Arya kill list), but for the most part, it wasn’t ugly. I appreciate that. Thanks for making it fun. I look forward to learning your identities. I hope I win.

DOM’S FINAL PLEA

First of all I’d like to thank the hosts for putting this on and for inviting me to play this game. It has been a real experience to me as I’ve never played on this platform before. The game also been really hard for me to balance as a lot of you know my hours are completely different to most people’s and I guess that will be explained more later on.
I’d also like to thank the people that I did play alongside, the people that I made friends with during Game and the people that were loyal to me to the extent that they could be.
To the people that I didn’t talk to very much (or at all), I’m sorry that we didn’t talk. I get paranoid when people don’t message me. I feel that they feel safe enough not to talk to me so I don’t message them due to that. I need to work past that in future games.
I’m sorry for my answers. I’m not very strong in my creative writing skills or writing skills at all to be honest but I’ve tried.

I feel my game was strong due to my social abilities been used from the get go. I also feel that its very honorable to be loyal and to tell the truth so you don’t get caught in a Web of Lies.

Anytime I was approached on something that I had said, 9 times out of 10 I would admit to it. If I didn’t admit to it I would sway the conversation so I didn’t have to admit it.
I’m not strong at comps so I have to use my ability to get people to trust me so that I could get myself further it in the game. I’ve worked alongside people, not as their extra vote. If I felt what they have told me is wrong for my game, I fought them on it. I did what I wanted for my game not what others wanted me to do.

Once again I thank everyone for having me in the game.  I’ve learned so much including how to use spreadsheets a lot more, how to remember what email I need to use. and for showing me how much better these games are compared to mainstream orgs that I’ve played.

Also thank you to anyone that even considers voting for me. I guess what I’ve written here isn’t the strongest, like I said my writing skills and get across what I mean is not very strong but I’ve tried. I’ve loved the game so if I get no votes or some votes I’m happy. Thank you.

CHERRY’S FINAL PLEA

I won some challenges, made bonds that mattered when it mattered, yada yada. I’m sorry if making light of the thesis like breakdown that is supposed to happen here is a turn off, but I’m just going to speak from my heart instead. When this game started I was so over these games and thought this would be my last ever org. I played like a shit head the entire tribe portion and had never been more burnt out of it. But then once merge hit, my eyes opened and I realized I knew who a few people were and that I was in a tank full of sharks. I legit and honestly got excited. I was determined to salvage my game to the best of my ability and along the way actually had a ton of fun. Just being in that zone with everyone was such a rush. I made a song and got a gmail I may keep forever too. BodaciousCherry@gmail.com ftw. Even if I don’t win, I won’t be bitter. This may sound insincere, I assure you it’s not, I want to thank Annette, Bernice, Kelly, Hilde, Double r and all the jury for rejuvenating my love for playing these stupid fucking games by the end of it. Thankfully my gender will force me to take a break after this one though, I need it. Good luck to the other two ladies!

Please not zero votes

Please not zero votes

Please not zero votes

Well, there you have it. Jury, time to do your duty. Let me have your votes by tomorrow night, please, and we’ll crown a Prom Queen.

Congrats Cherry, Dom & Heatherr! Time to face the jury. Let’s just get to it, eh?

Her Highness Hildegaard

Well guys, congrats to all 3 of you!

Since I feel I have a halfway decent idea of how your game actually went, I’d love to hear one thing you’d have done differently if you could have and how that thing would’ve have increased your chances of being “Sole Survivor”.

Same question for all 3 of you.  Good Luck!!

Oliver Caulfield

Explain your thought process as it relates to certain jury members. To some degree you all seemed content to ignore some jurors. Was this a necessary evil, or a concerted effort to not sleep with the enemy?

Dudgie O’Fritters

Congratulations for making it to the final 3, ladies.  I’m currently in jail awaiting my trial. They told me that I could post bail as long as I didn’t leave the state, but it was this or listen to my mom all day. Legs promised he’d feed my hamsters while I’m gone, which is clearly a good choice. I’ve had access to a radio to keep up to date with the school events, so I know what you three are all about right now.

The police are collecting evidence for my trial and they believe I didn’t commit all these crimes on my own. I’m not going to rat out anyone who may or may not have actually helped me, but turning in a few names will help reduce my sentence.

I know that in the girls second floor bathroom there’s a few empty cans of spray paint, a bag of black tar heroin, and a knife used for more than opening letters. Here’s my question to all 3 of you: When the police ask you about these 3 items, how will you talk your way out of it, making it seem as though the other two committed these crimes? You will need to refer back to techniques you used in your game (i.e. I would say I would talk to both cops, then call their police chief and talk to him, then ask the cops 1 on 1 what they think of their partners to breed mistrust. Uber would use his signed letter from the president, dismissing any and all past crimes committed). The person with the best answer will get my vote to win, and the other two will probably wind up in a holding cell next to me for another few weeks.

Hoyt Lozenge

Cherry:  How can you explain your abject lack of participation during the tribe section of this game? Given you vanished for days on end, why should I still say you’re the most deserving to win?

Dom: What was your strategy overall in this game and how did it change as the game progressed?

Heatherr: Who would you say your closest allies and biggest enemies were in this game? What is the part of your game you are least proud of?

Everyone: You and your most loyal ally have two drinks in front of you: One is poisoned and will kill you instantly. they look, smell, and taste the same in every way. At least one cup must be drunk. How do you proceed? You’re trapped in a basement that’s filling up with water and your leg is caught. It’s filling fast and your only hope of escape is the window above you. There’s a zombie coming at you, ready to make a sandwich out of your face. You have only 2 things within reach to use. You must use one to fight the zombie, but using it will render it useless in your escape from the basement. The other must be used in some way after killing the zombie. The two items are a flotation device and a baby harp seal. What do you do, and why? What is one word you would use to describe your relationship with each of the other finalists and why?

Uber Lyft

1. Cherry – Nothing for you.

2. Dom – You were my girl to the end. When I play, even if it may hurt me I won’t vote partner out just to “look good” to the other people.

3. Heather – Clearly you did something right.

No questions. Good luck

Polly Flappyhands

My question is for all three finalists: What do you feel is your greatest achievement in this game? What did you do that makes your game stand out from the other two finalists?

Bumblebee Zephyr Jones

My question for Dominique and Cherry is: Tell me something I don’t know about you and your game. Should be easy.

My question for Heatherr is: Tell me something I don’t know about you and your game. Should be difficult.

Xander Xanax

Cherry: Some one would say your game lacked the social aspect. Can you describe how you used the social game to your advantage?

Heather: You were supposed to be my prom date. You stuck with me when everyone else turned on me. Yet it didn’t seem to come down on you at all. Describe your thought process when you saw the outcome of that vote and how you enacted the measures needed to survive.

Dom: Convince me you weren’t Uber’s side piece the entire game.

Trashcan Jan

To all three: Convince me why you should get my vote over the other two finalists.

Tayquan Robison

Pick a number between 1 and 15.

Well, there you have it. Finalists, I will send you a document to fill in your answers to the questions and your final pleas. Please have them back to me by Thursday night.

We’ll get this baby to bed with a winner by the weekend. Wooooo!

Actually, thy drugs be long and drawn out. That was an epic battle to the end. HER HIGHNESS HILDEGAARD succumbed to a poison brew and couldn’t find the last remaining antidote. Thus, she becomes the final member of the jury.

That means CHERRY BLOSSOM, DOMINIQUE RIVERS and HEATHER WITH TWO Rs are our three finalists. Jury, get me some questions for these students by Monday night, please.

Thanks everyone for playing your hearts out and entertaining the crap out of us.

In an unprecedented twist, Zookeeper ended in a tie for first place. Therefore, CHERRY BLOSSOM and DOMINIQUE RIVERS are finalists. Vying for the third spot, HEATHERR WITH 2 RS and HER HIGHNESS HILDEGAARD must now battle it out in the fire making challenge! Okay, no, don’t burn down the school. We’re going to go to a favorite from Kelly’s Romeo & Juliet season and play

THY DRUGS ARE QUICK

There are THIRTY BEERS sitting at the table, numbered from 1-30. On each turn, you must drink one.

Twenty-one of them are NORMAL beers.

Beers #7, #17 and #27 are POISON.

Beers #3, #4, #13, #14, #23 and #24 are ANTIDOTES.

Poison and Antidotes will appear as normal beers. You’re going to try to keep track of where the special drinks might be.

You will take turns taking drinks. The first to take one will be HEATHERR and HILDE will therefore take the even numbered turns.

When it’s your turn, you will give me the number of a drink to take. If you take poison, you will take another turn, and you MUST take an antidote thereafter or you lose the challenge.

Once you take a drink, all other drinks move forward. So if Heatherr takes drink #2, then #3 becomes #2 and all others fall in line behind it. Hilde will not be told what number Heatherr took, nor will anyone else.

You can intentionally or accidentally take an antidote on your turn; this will end your turn safely and you WILL be told you drank an antidote.

The game ends when someone drinks a poison and is unable to follow it up with an antidote.

Poison DOES NOT get pulled from the game when it is consumed, although it will be posted that poison was consumed. I will never post the number of the drink consumed but will ALWAYS post the type.

Here is the spreadsheet:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1FHwRQsnJdn9LRZGl1PFUwDKlpjqJ6HjyYAa1h4lx97Q/edit#gid=0

Ask any questions you have and let’s get to drinking! Heatherr, take a drink at your leisure from the thirty provided. I will let you know when it’s your turn via carrier pigeon (a/k/a FB messenger) and you can submit your drink numbers to me there.

Nice that you all manage to reach a consensus before the last minute for a change. Let’s get to it – anyone got anything to say?

No? Good.

First vote:

Dominique Rivers

Tay, Ive changed my athletic ways and want to spend the last of my days as a royal!

Tayquan Robinson

Tayquan Robinson

Tayquan Robinson

By a vote of four to one, TAYQUAN ROBINSON becomes the ninth member of the jury. We’re in the home stretch, WOOOOOO!

Read the rest of this entry »

Whew, that was an exhausting vote. Anyone have anything to say?

“Hey Dick!”

“That’s Mr. Vernon to you, Dudgie.”

“Whatever. Here!” Dudgie thrusts a crumpled up paper at me. It’s a two-for-one appetizer coupon from Chi Chi’s Restaurant. Unfortunately, it expired about 30 years ago and is NOT an idol.

“Sit down, Dudgie!”

“Mr. Vernon?”

“What now, Heatherr?” Heatherr saunters forward, twisting off a mood ring stuck tightly on her thumb. I note that it is completely black, like Heatherr’s cold, cold heart. It is, however, an idol and any votes for Heatherr will not count.

“Can we get to the vote already?!”

Read the rest of this entry »

Another voting day in the books.  Anyone have anything to say? No? Okay, then.

As much as I love cherries, and I do. Like. A lot. I am voting Cherry tonight. But not because of my love of cherries… I am actually quite saddened by the irony of this… *spits out cherry seed and softly weeps

Polly Flappyhands

Cherry Blossom

Polly Flappyhands

Polly Flappyhands

Polly Flappyhands

By a vote of four to two, POLLY FLAPPYHANDS is eliminated and becomes our seventh member of the jury. Getting serious now!

FLAT TIRE

It’s called FLAT TIRE and it was a thing in the 80s. Just trust us; it was.

Each of you is milling about the hallways, trying to get to class. For each turn, you will ATTACK another player by stepping on the back of their shoe. This was affectionately called “a flat tire”. Apparently, one flat tire is no big deal. You laugh it off and slip your foot back in. The second one is a little more offensive and not so easy to overlook. The third one causes you to completely LOSE YOUR SHIT and be booted to the principal’s office, which means you’re out of the competition.

But on each turn, you get to DEFEND against a player too, and if you defend successfully against one person, then NONE of the attacks against you will land. Furthermore, the person who was defended against successfully will be the one to head to the principal’s office and be out of the comp.

You can ATTACK YOURSELF if you want, as long as you understand this attack will not be successful unless you defend against someone successfully. Defenses must be against someone else.

Once one player is left, he or she will be immune from the vote. If two players are left, the one with fewer flat tires will win. If two players with equal flat tires remain, the one who successfully defended against more people will win. If this is still a draw, the two will decide among them which is immune from the vote, and if they can’t, the third-place person will decide. If that too was a tie of people going out at the same time, then finally, I will rely on random.org. (That sounds complicated, so don’t tie.)

Wait?! (You ask) Is this just Kelly’s Knots challenge thinly reworked to suit the Breakfast Club? Why NO, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Questions? Ask em. First turn is tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m. Central.

 

Okay then. No voting comments were left and a consensus was reached:

By a vote of seven to one, UBER LYFT has been eliminated and becomes the sixth member of the jury. Uber, I’ll link you up to the jury room shortly.

Next challenge:

BC JUMBLE

Congrats Final SEVEN! Have you been making good use of your extra study time in the library? Some of us are doubtful, so let’s test it, shall we?

This is going to be a timed word jumble. Fun, right!? You betcha. There will be 22 words to unscramble.  Each word will have one special letter that will be highlighted. If you choose to, you can use these letters to fill in the phrase at the bottom.

The person completing the jumbles with the fastest time is the winner and will have immunity. Whenever you have time to do your jumble, you will email shermerhighoffice@gmail.com and say you are ready to go. Time will begin once we hit send. You will receive a link to a google doc with the jumble on it. Fill in the answers in the boxes provided. (None of the words will be plural.) If you finish all the boxes, the highlighted letters complete a phrase at the bottom. You do not have to solve the phrase at the bottom. But if you do, FOUR MINUTES will be deducted from your time stamp on your return email telling us you are finished. You may not submit the phrase if you haven’t finished the boxes. If you’re exceptionally quick, you could potentially end up with a negative time . . . which would be awesome, obviously.

We’ll give you until Sunday night to carve out some time to do this. Let us know if this proves to be troublesome and we’ll convince you otherwise. If y’all manage to get it done sooner, we’ll move along.

You may not talk about the challenge; this is a solo challenge.

Good luck.

I suppose I have to ask . . .  anyone wanna say anything?

“Uh, Mr. Vernon.”

“Oh, for the love of . . .”

Heatherr hands me a Magic 8 ball, permanently set to “It Seems Unlikely.” This IS a special idol which can only be played at 8, 16, or 24 remaining players.  This qualifies and any votes for Heatherr do not count.

Uber Lyft

Polly Flappyhands – fly away . . . to the jury.

Uber Lyft

Voting Polly – no I don’t want your rotten cracker. Stop asking!

Uber Lyft

Polly Flappyhands

Uber Lyft

Polly Flappyhands

Read the rest of this entry »

Your competition, and also you

HALL OF CHAMPIONS

SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR

I: Rachel “The Double-Dealer” Flynn

II: Ryan “The Snake” Fossum

III: Patrick “The Gentleman” Kozicky

IV: Brienne “The Submitter” Maner

V: Rusty “The Porn Star” Greene

VI: Brooks “The Unlikely Hero” Maki

VII: William “The Soulful” Schuth

VIII: Brooks “The Survivor” Maki

IX: Zack “The Ice Cream Man” Sauvageau

X: Pete “The Vacuum Cleaner” Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks “The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens” Maki

XI: Matt “The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er” Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy “The Quiet Man” Rustleund

XIII: Sarah “Clarence’s Hope” Bizek

XIV: Dan “The Professional” Kautz

XV: Christina “Assault And” Pepper

XVI: Matt “The First-Time Player” Novak

XVII: Stacy “Saintly Patience” Snell

XVIII: Brian “Checkmate” David

XIX: Annette “Eammon for the Top” Barron

XX: Daniel “Neville “Smash “Hardware” Hardwood” Longbottom” Caouette

XXI: Pete “The Comeback Kid” Bruzek

XXII: Dan “The Even More Professional” Kautz

XXIII: Melissa “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” David

XXIV: All-Female All-Star Game, Coming Soon

GODS AND MORTALS
I: Dragging Rivet’s Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)
II: Bahambo Number 5: Pete “Triple Crown” Bruzek and Michelle “Single Tiara…So Far” Pratt

BIG BROTHER
I: Brooks “Oh, for the Love of God” Maki
II: Michael “#DDB” Rivet
III: Pete “Fortune’s Fool” Bruzek
IV: Erin “All Seven and We’ll Watch Them Fall” Leslie
V: Jake “Littlefinger” Elliott

FALL, CAESAR
2014: Brooks “The Creator” Maki
2015: Matt “The Artist” Novak
2016: Matt “Waited Them Out” Novak
2017: Annette “I Would’ve Voted for You” Barron

THE ROYAL RUMBLE
2013: #21 Greg “The Gallant Glutton of Greatness” Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon “Big Papa” Pope
2015: #8 Christina “Am I in This?” Pepper
2016: #22 Annette “No Backs Stabbed” Barron
2017: #30 Bernice “The Vulture” Nicaise
2018: #17 Carrie “Solid Gold” Bard

PLAY WITH THE PROSE
(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah “Centipede Face” Johnson
II: Sarah “The Johnson Eliminator” Wreisner
III: Colin “Lonely Old Moon” Woolston
IV: Melissa “Not Sidebar Material” Diamond
V: Sama “No Family Reunions” Smith
VI: Sarah “Tumor Face” Wreisner
VII: John “Cult Following” Wreisner
VIII: Joshua “Peed the Bed” Longman
VIII: Annette “Oh, Right, That’s Who Won” Barron

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

PUZZLE CHALLENGE
I (Pure): Matthew “The Obsessor” Gilman
I (Power): Kelly “The Novak-Destroyer” Wells

DIPLOMACY
I: Matt “Exploiter of Worlds” Novak (France)

SPOOKYMILK SURVIVOR XXIV

Sixteen women to be named soon.

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