Here it is, folks! A three-way bloodbath that’s sure to…

…urgent news coming in, sorry.

“Bahambo is sitting out this challenge. May your days be Bahambo and your nights be Bahambo. Sincerely, Bahambo.”

Wow, that word is versatile! So here it really is, folks: a two-way bloodbath that’s something something. I may be saving my energy for the questions.

All questions will be placed here, and the first of Umoja or Conceptual Innuendo to reach five points will win. I’ll post questions every hour, attempting to do so around the same minute. Answers are only accepted via email.

Only the first answer to come in will matter. If it’s right, you’ll get a point and can no longer send answers. If it’s wrong, you also can never again submit an answer, and the person after you will be tabulated as well.

Alrighty, tighty whities. Let’s get to a question here.

Question One (9:10 Central): How many total votes in this game have been cast for characters whose names start with H?

Chad answers: 2 (wrong, no more answers)
Salamangela answers: 3 (correct)

Question Two (10:10 Central): This is the name of both a successful music producer and a kids show from the ’80s. That’s not framed like a question, but…you know what I mean.

Yulfie answers: Danger Mouse (correct)

Question Three (11:10 Central): Who was the last surviving member of the Manihiki tribe?

Hope answers: Sundra Oakley (correct)

Question Four (1:10 Central): What’s the common thread among all these Marvel characters? Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson, Cyclops, Mr. Fantastic, Daredevil, The Incredible Hulk, Angel, Dr. Strange, Nova.

Max answers: they all have alliterative names (correct)

Question Five (3:10 Central): Who were the two more recent NFL wide receivers to break the single-season record for receptions in back-to-back seasons?

Reese answers: Wes Welker and Antonio Brown (wrong, no more answers)
Smash answers: Wes Welker and Andre Johnson (wrong, no more answers)
Hey You answers: Cris Carter and Herman Moore (correct)

Question Six (5:10 Central): Who was the last character to die in Ridley Scott’s Alien? Name the character, NOT the performer. If you name the performer, I’ll mark it incorrect.

Graveyard Nuggets answers: Joan Lambert (correct)

Question Seven (6:10 Central): Who are the only three players in Spookymilk Survivor history to finish a game in both first and second place?

Rogue Scallion answers: Matt Novak, Christina Pepper and Ryan Fossum (correct)

Conceptual Innuendo leads, 4-3

The next question is about Facebook Survivor. Specifically, the season I played.

The remaining questions will run thusly: 7 and 8 Central (ten minutes after the hour). Obviously, if one tribe wins before that, we’ll stop.

Let’s start with Conceptual Innuendo, because their vote is craptacularly one-sided.

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so.


Vote One: Federal Shampoo. (missed vote)

Vote Two: Federal Shampoo.

Vote Three: Federal Shampoo.

Vote Four: Federal Shampoo. “I don’t know what happened to you, but I need less regulation and more actually shampoo.”

Vote Five: Federal Shampoo. “Nothing personal”

Vote Six: Federal Shampoo. “[redacted]”

Vote Seven: Federal Shampoo. “Sorry Shampoo, time to rinse!”

Vote Eight: Federal Shampoo. “Time to wash this man right out of the tribe”

Vote Nine: Federal Shampoo. “you show up the least it seems like. And we need people to be here and be ready to go. I like to buy my shampoo local anyway.”

Eighth Elimination from Spookymilk Survivor XVII: Federal Shampoo

Ugh. This guy can play. He just…hasn’t for the past few years.

Bahambo, you’re up.

Same question about immunity, and such.

meaningful shots are shown of people who may have immunity idols. Nobody steps up.

Vote One: Harbor Breath (missed vote)

Vote Two: Corporal Clambake (missed vote)

Vote Three: Vernon Silvari (missed vote)

Nice f(*&kin’ participation, Bahambo.

Vote Four: Beef Stew.

Vote Five: Beef Stew.

Vote Six: Vernon Silvari.
Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve got a lovely spreadsheet for you.

Unfortunately, I’m posting from my phone and it’s a huge pain in the ass. I’ll link you when I get home in a bit, but for now, under the jump are the names of the two tribes that had at least one nonsub and must vote by tomorrow.
Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome back, Survivors! The wait was excruciating for me. How ’bout you? I hope you’re awake and ready to rock, because you’ve got a challenge due tomorrow night at 9pm Central. We’ll also have a one-day semi-live challenge on Thursday, so we’re returning with a bang.
Read the rest of this entry »

Alright, Survivors. Soon after this post, you’ll be locked out of Diplochat for a day or three (I’ll give everyone an email when it’s back).

Vote One: Hope Martell.

Vote Two: Hope Martell.

Vote Three: Classified Ken.

Vote Four: Classified Ken.
Read the rest of this entry »

You have three hours to do this. Any tribe that fails will be voting out a member, so we could see a triple here. If two tribes succeed first, the late tribe will vote someone out.

I’m not sure how well this challenge will go over, but I wanted to try something with a very short deadline and see what happened.

Find Immunity on this spreadsheet. If it’s more than one coordinate, it will be in a straight line. When you think you know where it is, email me the coordinates; however, each individual can only make a claim once every 30 minutes (time starts after each guess).

Is this too easy? Too hard? I guess we’ll find out. Your clock starts now, and this challenge ends at 2:13 pm, if not sooner. The vote will be due tonight, since there will be chat maintenance all weekend and the Diplochat site will be down.

Cheers, Survivors.

Update: CI and Bahambo have won Immunity. Umoja will vote by tonight.

Hey, gang! As is your usual wont, we weren’t short on good ideas. Many, though, tried to jam too much into too little space where I really believe the idea was workable in the number of words provided.

Anyway, I’m a sucker for time travel, and true to form, I didn’t get tired of reading them even for the length of sixteen different stories. Onward, Prosers.
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We’ll have to see what happens with the next challenge. Andy is going to do his Diplochat maintenance this weekend, but since we’re done so early I’m trying to figure out how to shoehorn in a challenge by tonight for another vote tomorrow. What’s a good, quick challenge?

Vote One: Salamangela.

Vote Two: Salamangela.

Vote Three: Chasing Grain.

Vote Four: Chasing Grain.

Vote Five: Salamangela. “it’s your time to go may the odds be ever in your favor next time.”

Vote Six: Chasing Grain. “Another vote?! Again?!? Dammit Chloe!”
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Shortest post ever!

Here, have some.

The losing team is named on the spreadsheet. Named team, please vote by tomorrow at 9pm Central.

Thing I learned in this challenge: if you guess an “E” first on “Walk Away Renee,” you’ve got a two in three chance of coming up with “Baby Bumblebee.” That was a little trip-up that I didn’t even intend.

Cheers, Survivors.

Okay, kiddos. Here’s another boring elimination vote that doesn’t deserve even this meager introduction.

Vote One: Bubbles (missed vote).

Vote Two: Bubbles.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel "The Double-Dealer" Flynn

II: Ryan "The Snake" Fossum

III: Patrick "The Gentleman" Kozicky

IV: Brienne "The Submitter" Maner

V: Rusty "The Porn Star" Greene

VI: Brooks "The Unlikely Hero" Maki

VII: William "The Soulful" Schuth

VIII: Brooks "The Survivor" Maki

IX: Zack "The Ice Cream Man" Sauvageau

X: Pete "The Vacuum Cleaner" Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks "The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens" Maki

XI: Matt "The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er" Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy "The Quiet Man" Rustleund

XIII: Sarah "Clarence's Hope" Bizek

XIV: Dan "The Professional" Kautz

XV: Christina "Assault And" Pepper

XVI: Matt "The First-Time Player" Novak

XVII: in progress

I: Dragging Rivet's Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)

I: Brooks "Oh, for the Love of God" Maki
II: Michael "#DDB" Rivet

Pete "An Apparently Long Title Reign" Bruzek (6/23/14)

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg "The Gallant Glutton of Greatness" Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon "Big Papa" Pope
2015: #8 Christina "Am I in This?" Pepper

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah "Centipede Face" Johnson
II: Sarah "The Johnson Eliminator" Wreisner
III: Colin "Lonely Old Moon" Woolston
IV: Melissa "Not Sidebar Material" Diamond
V: Sama "No Family Reunions" Smith
VI: Sarah "Tumor Face" Wreisner
VII: in progress

WEREWOLF (most recent)
Wolves (daneekasghost, Inkarnit and nibbish) AND Neutral (MelissaD)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew "The Obsessor" Gilman
I (Power): Kelly "The Novak-Destroyer" Wells

I: Matt "Exploiter of Worlds" Novak (France)


Direct link to Diplochat


Harold Biscuits
Chad Broham
Smash Hardwood
Hope Martell
Graveyard Nuggets


Max Brooky
Colonel Hamster
Hey You Over There
Corgan the Horrible
History of Sass
Rogue Scallion
Yulfie Superfroth
Reese Wildebeest


Harbor Breath
Corporal Clambake
Vampire Grip
Toothless Hustle
Fluffy Muffins
Interesting Salmon
Beef Stew
Chastity Trueheart


33rd: cardinalsfan123
32nd: Mr. Rainbow
31st: Buster Lowdown
30th: Darth Sausage
29th: Bubbles Tipsy
28th: Chasing Grain
27th: Classified Ken
26th: Federal Shampoo
25th: Vernon Silvari


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