Lots to cover here. This is fairly complicated. Padma, where did you learn that shit?

The fun part first: three elves were liberated. Two were female-types, good for breaking ties, and one was a vaunted two-point gold elf. Two elves did not receive any bids, and one of these was a gold elf, who is beyond depressed as we speak. Borgger was also liberated by a single article of clothing, and has netted three points for the house that liberated him. Sorry if that was anticlimactic.

Logistics second: Every single green elf is up for grabs tomorrow. Anyone can bid on the elves that are not completely owned, but they are won by individuals, not houses. You must be the one who offers the most for the elf in order to free him or her. If there’s a tie for clothing points, the elf will remain frozen in indecision and will not be liberated at all.

The unfortunate part last: Draco was a nonsub, so no matter what happens over the rest of this challenge, Slytherin will be voting. Tomorrow, Slytherin players other than Draco will still send their moves because I’m trying to defend the integrity of what is a very good challenge, and allow those in Slytherin to finish out their planned challenge-wide strategy. If any teams finish below Slytherin in liberation points, then the lowest-scoring house will also vote. If Slytherin ends up in last, they will be the sole voting house. If they tie with anyone, the other house automatically wins the tie because of the nonsub.

If anyone else nonsubs tomorrow, nonsub rules still apply.

Getting our clothes off shouldn’t be such a somber event, though. Have fun in there, gang, and I’ll see you tomorrow at the same time.

As of now, we have thirteen and a half writers:

Shawn Ashley
Annette Barron
Dean Carlson
Melissa David
Joshua Longman
Matt Novak?
Christina Pepper
Jonathon Pope
Shelbi Sarver
Sama Smith
Ashton Stansel
erik sunshine
Colin Woolston
Sarah Wreisner

Look at all those damn former winners and get excited, gang. Or terrified, whatever.

I found during the last Survivor challenge that I was really into reading stuff right now, so I’ll run this one. I need at least one and preferably two other judges, and if anyone else is interested in writing, now is the time to let me know.

By popular demand:
1) Short word limits. We won’t eclipse 1000 (until maybe the playoffs) and will probably rotate 1000 with 500. If we go on and enough people feel stifled by this, we’ll reassess.
2) No Saturday deadlines. I rarely if ever do them, but it was a specific request this time, so if I forget, remind me.

I plan to do either one or two deadlines a week, and am open to suggestion. Either way, the regular season will be the usual twelve challenges, and number of playoff writers will be dictated by number of writers total. As it stands now, I’d probably go with four, but if we get up to 15-16 I’ll jump to six. Many of you don’t even really care about that aspect, but logistics must be covered.

I don’t know the theme yet, but I have like 3456234 messages from Novak in my inbox about possible themes, so I’m confident we can find one there.

If you know anyone who writes but has never done so here, I love reading new writers. I’d probably cap the season at 18-20 people, even with the short limits, because gathering for three judges (and preparing the final post) is a fairly long process.

Also, if you want things to move quickly during judging, strongly consider avoiding Microsoft Word, which doesn’t work well with what I use. I’d prefer Google Docs, or even typing directly in the body of the email. PDFs are even worse, as I can’t copy and paste them into a judging document.

That should be it for now. Depending on the response to this post, I could see us getting started in under a week. Cheers, Prosers.

First, the elimination! Yesterday I meant to write “due tonight at 9pm Central” and didn’t notice until hours and hours later that I had said “tomorrow” out of habit. But surely Hufflepuff would all vote quickly, right?! Oh well.

Vote One: Justin Finch-Fletchley (missed vote)
Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a fat load of results.

I figured you guys were bursting creatively, but I didn’t expecto this. Wooooooo

Seriously, this was a great challenge and I love all of you passionately. The results are at the very bottom of the (extremely long) document, if you’re the type who had to know which character got killed at the beginning of this season’s Walking Dead so you could prepare for it emotionally.

Once upon a time, I said there would probably be some kind of creative challenge in this season. I actually considered several, but I’m not sold on most of them completely.

However, I’m more than happy to run one of my usual favorites…the Create-a-Challenge.

Your task – individually – is to create a challenge that I could run for this season. I’m always looking for something fun and not a complete bear to run (although I’ve made exceptions in the past), and this season will also obviously expect the challenge to be related to the Potterverse. The deeper you go into the mythology, the more likely the challenge is to catch my eye; although this will be won by the challenge I like best as a challenge, part of that is going to be presentation. Daniel Caouette’s “Battle Cats” is a better-than-average challenge, but it’s become a staple of this type of season partially because it’s fun to read. If two challenges are strategic equals in my mind, favor will always go to the one that’s more engaging.

Although each of you are on the hook to do this, you’re obviously welcome to talk to others. You cannot write another person’s challenge for them, but giving them some insight into what I love and hate is only fair, since the (somewhat numerous) new players have no frame of reference.

In addition to getting the highest score, the #1 choice will actually be run. If these are as clever as usual, I’ll more than likely run three to five of them.

If the number of players for the challenge is important, say so. I will give no more or less consideration to a final challenge than I will to a merge challenge, but I should know so your challenge is easier to visualize.

I will be giving each individual a number of points on a forced curve after putting the challenges in order from my favorite to least. Scores will be:


The losing team will be the one that has the lowest average score per person, even if the lowest-scoring team has the highest-scoring individual (which mathematically might be just about impossible).

Nonsubs will score a negative five, and will self-vote when the team goes to tribal. Any team with a nonsub will vote, and if any team has 100% participation but loses to a nonsub-having house, they too will vote.

These will be due Monday night at 8pm Central to give you a little time to think and also preserve our weekend for the several of you who were going to be out and about. Judging will take a while, particularly if several challenges show up late. Note the due time at 8, not 9, since I work early the next day and will be attempting not to stay up all night.

Please email these to me at foreverunchanged@gmail.com with a clear header. I will be dropping them into a folder immediately so my wife can gather them and I can read them anonymously, as I much prefer to do so I can simply judge the challenge and not judge people against what I think they’re capable of.

Cheers, Students. If you have any pointed questions about my process or whatever, Dumbledore remains at your service.

Okay, wieners. Did you know a single customer can keep me over half an hour late getting home from a closing shift if he’s annoying enough? I did!

We’ll start with Ravenclaw.

Vote One: Marcus Belby. “Because he’s not me.”

Vote Two: Michael Corner.
Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t feel like building a spreadsheet (I know – it’s weird) so you’ll get results right here.

Knocked Out

Hannah Abbott, Hufflepuff (nonsub)
Neville Longbottom, Gryffindor (9000)
Anthony Goldstein, Ravenclaw (5001)
Michael Corner, Ravenclaw (2031)
Justin Finch-Fletchley (1999)
Luna Lovegood, Ravenclaw (1000)
Ginny Weasley, Gryffindor (800)
Susan Bones, Hufflepuff (750)

The Living

Seamus Finnigan, Gryffindor (600)
Ernie Macmillan, Hufflepuff (575)
Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff (555)
Hermione Granger, Gryffindor (550)
Padma Patil, Ravenclaw (499)
Harry Potter, Gryffindor (475)
Marcus Belby, Ravenclaw (1)

Ravenclaw, with 500 points to Hufflepuff’s 1130 and Gryffindor’s 1625, it’s time for you to vote. You have until tomorrow night at 9pm Central.

However, based on the rule from the beginning of the season (and basically all of my seasons) where any team with at least one nonsub also votes someone out, Hufflepuff, you will be voting too. Nice recovery, Gryffindor!

Who has two thumbs and is currently obsessed with single-submission math challenges? Dumbledore, that’s who!

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, it’s late! Lots of goings-on in the milkman household.

Vote One: Ron Weasley (missed vote)
Read the rest of this entry »

Is it season nine? I don’t know. Something like that. There’s too little time to actually glance at the sidebar.

I don’t know what this season’s theme will be and I don’t know if I’ll write, judge or sit out. What I do know is that people have been annoying me into submission to get a season going, so here we are.

We’ll cap at sixteen writers, unless we have four willing judges, in which case we can cap at about 24, and have two judges do twelve submissions each week. Just tell me what you want to do, and I’m sure we’ll figure something out.

First-time Survivor players here, of which there are many, this is a separate event that is entirely creative writing. If that’s not your thing, you’re free to ignore this because it will have no bearing on the Potterverse game.

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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel "The Double-Dealer" Flynn

II: Ryan "The Snake" Fossum

III: Patrick "The Gentleman" Kozicky

IV: Brienne "The Submitter" Maner

V: Rusty "The Porn Star" Greene

VI: Brooks "The Unlikely Hero" Maki

VII: William "The Soulful" Schuth

VIII: Brooks "The Survivor" Maki

IX: Zack "The Ice Cream Man" Sauvageau

X: Pete "The Vacuum Cleaner" Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks "The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens" Maki

XI: Matt "The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er" Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy "The Quiet Man" Rustleund

XIII: Sarah "Clarence's Hope" Bizek

XIV: Dan "The Professional" Kautz

XV: Christina "Assault And" Pepper

XVI: Matt "The First-Time Player" Novak

XVII: Stacy "Saintly Patience" Snell

XVIII: Brian "Checkmate" David

XIX: Annette "Eammon for the Top" Barron

I: Dragging Rivet's Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)

I: Brooks "Oh, for the Love of God" Maki
II: Michael "#DDB" Rivet
III: Pete "Fortune's Fool" Bruzek
IV: Erin "All Seven and We'll Watch Them Fall" Leslie

2014: Brooks "The Creator" Maki
2015: Matt "The Artist" Novak

Kelly "Yes, He's a Player Too" Wells

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg "The Gallant Glutton of Greatness" Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon "Big Papa" Pope
2015: #8 Christina "Am I in This?" Pepper
2016: #22 Annette "No Backs Stabbed" Barron

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah "Centipede Face" Johnson
II: Sarah "The Johnson Eliminator" Wreisner
III: Colin "Lonely Old Moon" Woolston
IV: Melissa "Not Sidebar Material" Diamond
V: Sama "No Family Reunions" Smith
VI: Sarah "Tumor Face" Wreisner
VII: John "Cult Following" Wreisner
VIII: Joshua "Peed the Bed" Longman

WEREWOLF (most recent)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew "The Obsessor" Gilman
I (Power): Kelly "The Novak-Destroyer" Wells

I: Matt "Exploiter of Worlds" Novak (France)


Erin Leslie


Jamie Frost


3rd: Sharon Pierpont
4th: Tammy Renea Hipps
5th: Melissa David
6th: Stacy Snell
7th: Annette Barron
8th: Diane Pelletier
9th: Paul Schneider


10: Michael Deighton
11th: Ashton Stansel
12th: Chad Seal
13th: David Atkins
14th: Joe Dykehouse
15th: Chris Jojola
16th: Cory Brownrigg
17th: Allison Simmons
18th: Stephanie Daniels
19th: Jake Elliott
20th: Cheryl Ramirez
21st: Zach Schmidt
22nd: Ken Krouner
23rd: Adrian Miller
24th: Cheryl Jones
25th: Erin Lashua
26th: Shelbi Sarver