Good evening, Houseguests. Carlos has chosen to nominate:

The Sacred Pillow and Lester Sweetums.

All five of you will be competing in this Power of Veto challenge. It’s called The Way God Made Me. Your task is to write a story in which a character overcomes an obstacle thanks to his or her worst character trait being used for good.

I’ll give you 750 words for this one. Remember, you don’t have to use them all, but if you need them, they’re there. As always, please send your stories to using your game emails. Pepper and I will judge these and the highest medal score will win the Veto (my medals alone will break any ties this time).

These will be due Sunday night at 8 PM Central. Good luck, Houseguests.

Here is one more look at the spreadsheet. After the jump we’ll have your final Zookeeper Day tallies and the totals.
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* Someone to run a CJ Championship match between me and yickit.

* Maybe another writing judge for the (infrequent) writing challenges in The Gauntlet. Melissa is already on board.

* Suggestions on favorite one-on-one challenges from CdL history to be used in The Gauntlet.

I was sad nobody responded to this. I see now it’s because I never published it.

Hey there, Houseguests. This post is where the Zookeeper results will eventually go – mostly just a link to the spreadsheet where your builds and such will be put together.

And here is that link: Zookeeper!

The Final Day, Day 7 will be due Thursday at 2 PM Central. New nominations will follow on Thursday evening by 8 PM.

Seriously, though, coming up with intros is the bane of my existence. Just think, after this there will be twice as many players out of this game as there are still in the game.

Vote One: Fat Mabel. “You didn’t think we’d just roll over and let you win another one, did you?”

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As you may have seen, Lester and May were the last players alive, but Lester had no more legal moves to make, so May Danderfluff won the Power of Veto. May chose not to use the veto and left the nominations as they were.

So this eviction vote is between Carlos and Mabel. The nominees, as always, are not required to vote; May, as HOH, is not allowed to vote except in case of a tie. The other three of you (Christy, Lester, and Pillow), please send me a vote to evict either Carlos or Mabel by 8 PM Central TONIGHT (Friday). Then we will get to our final 5 HOH competition.

So everybody of importance was in the parking lot. Biff had noticed Lorraine alone in the car and was already trying to rape her. George had come up to interrupt him. Marty was holding a guitar and watching from a distance. Even Strickland was in the parking lot trying to find trouble, but was on the other side of the building. Everyone could feel a climax approaching.

That was going to have to wait, though. Doc Brown, in a rush to set up the clock tower experiment, forgot to feed someone. Back at the Brown residence, Copernicus was gnawing on a chicken leg. He choked, then slowly suffocated a sad puppy death.

nibbish (Skinhead, lost his head)
Joepunman (Mayor Red Thomas, poisoned)
todahshy (3-D, too honest)
spookymilk (Marvin Berry, hemorrhaged)
bhiggum (Goldie Wilson, too optimistic)
rob (Copernicus, should’ve had a Milk-bone)

Dread Pirate
Guy Patterson
Zee German

There’s eight of you left, so five for a majority.


Good evening, Houseguests. May has chosen to nominate:

Fat Mabel and Hybrid Carlos.

Now, since there are only six of you left in the house, you will all be competing in this Power of Veto challenge. It was created by my good friend Spooky M. Wells, and he’ll be helping me manage this one, so I’ll turn the floor over to him.


Hello, Houseguests. Milkman here (let’s just dispense with the cheekiness). I hope you’re playing a good game in there, and taking care of any large felines that may have been left behind.

As part of my “name a challenge after every remaining Houseguest” initiative, I bring you Spatula City. Well, I guess it’s my “name a challenge after every remaining Houseguest at the time I decided to name challenges after everybody” initiative.

Here, have a spreadsheet. The colorful six by six board of Spatulas in the top left is your playing space (the gray is just a border). The list of colors to the right signifies which color belongs to which person. So why aren’t any of them filled out? We’ll get to that.

Movement goes as such: you’re flipping a burger from spatula to spatula, but once a spatula is used, it’s blacked out. You can only flip the burger in a straight line (horizontal or vertical) or diagonally; blacked out spatulas cannot receive the burger but they don’t act as blocks; if you’re flipping from E3 and want to flip to A3, it doesn’t matter if C3 is blacked out. Once a person’s spatulas are gone, he or she is out of the challenge. You’re also out if you can’t legally make a move.

Until there are three left, you cannot attack the person who attacked you last. However, you’re allowed to attack your own spatulas at any time, if you have a strategic purpose for doing so.

”So Kelly, how do we know what color we are?

One of you will, in the next hour, claim red. You’ll choose a starting red space and make your move. You will also give the name of the person who receives the color you’re attacking. Your starting space will be sacrificed! If nobody chooses this in the next hour, someone will randomly be assigned to red. They’ll still have the ability to choose their starting space and their target, and who the target belongs to.

The person who receives the burger will then move, and so on. Other colors are assigned in the same way, so that should be self-explanatory.

Option A: If you are eliminated by all six of your burgers being hit, you get a death move and can attack in the same way as before, still observing the law of who is allowed to be a target and who cannot. If you have no legal move, we go to option B.

Option B: If you are eliminated because you have no legal moves, all the rest of your spatulas are blacked out and you do not get a death move. The person below you on the list of those remaining will get the next move, along with the sacrifice it entails (if nobody is below you, we start from the top). That’s a lot to think about, but I believe in all you bitches.

If there are questions, send them in a shared email with me ( and DK.

Moves will be sent via email and you will send them to both of us. Obviously, send them from your game email addresses and keep them free of strategic commentary. Whoever’s available will update the board and turns, and give the target a heads up. I’ll keep track of moves on the right; it will become obvious how to read it as it happens.

Might this take a while? Sure! You’re near the end, though, and it’s time for deeper strategy. I’ve set no “deadline” for moves but we expect several a day. If the game slows to a crawl, a four-hour (or smaller) deadline will be strictly enforced. Also, expect me to arbitrarily enforce very short deadlines if I don’t want your character to win. (I’m kidding, guys!!! Kidding)

And yes, this challenge is named after the skit on UHF.

Have fun flipping each other, Houseguests.

“Ah, I sliced my hand!” yelled Marvin Berry. He opened the trunk and Marty popped out. 

“So, you’re going to finish the dance, right?” said Marty, exasperated.

“Hey kid,” said one of the Starlighters, annoyed. “He’s bleeding profusely. We need to get him to a hospital.”

“Yeah, yeah,” replied Marty. “But what about the dance? My parents don’t get randy for each other unless they hear Earth Angel.”

They all just stared at Marty. 

“Okay then, I’ll take care of this myself.” Marty snatched up Marvin’s guitar and ran into the school.

Marvin promptly passed out. “Let’s go!” yelled the bass player. That usually meant they should jam some more, but this time, it meant they should step on the gas to save Marvin Berry’s life. What they didn’t know is that while just ten minutes ago Marvin was strangling the life out of 3-D, Match had plotted sweet revenge by slashing the band’s tires. 

Marvin bled out in the back of the car. If history is correct, his last words were, “Gaahhh, I am such a good wolf hunter.” Nobody is still quite sure what he meant, but most people agree that when Chuck Berry released the song “The Festival,” the lyric ‘All night Howlin’ Wolf and Muddy Waters in a battlin’ mood,” was a touching tribute to his cousin.

nibbish (Skinhead, lost his head)
Joepunman (Mayor Red Thomas, poisoned)
todahshy (3-D, too honest)
spookymilk (Marvin Berry, hemorrhaged)

Dread Pirate
Guy Patterson
Zee German

Day ends at 9 pm, as usual. Six needed more majority. TDO, post your homework by 3 pm.

These were fun. A lot of diverse ideas, and methods of pulling off those ideas.

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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel "The Double-Dealer" Flynn

II: Ryan "The Snake" Fossum

III: Patrick "The Gentleman" Kozicky

IV: Brienne "The Submitter" Maner

V: Rusty "The Porn Star" Greene

VI: Brooks "The Unlikely Hero" Maki

VII: William "The Soulful" Schuth

VIII: Brooks "The Survivor" Maki

IX: Zack "The Ice Cream Man" Sauvageau

X: Pete "The Vacuum Cleaner" Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks "The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens" Maki

XI: Matt "The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er" Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy "The Quiet Man" Rustleund

XIII: Sarah "Clarence's Hope" Bizek

XIV: Dan "The Professional" Kautz

XV: Christina "Assault And" Pepper

XVI: Matt "The First-Time Player" Novak

I: Dragging Rivet's Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)

I: Brooks "Oh, for the Love of God" Maki
II: In Progress

Pete "An Apparently Long Title Reign" Bruzek (6/23/14)

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg "The Gallant Glutton of Greatness" Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon "Big Papa" Pope
2015: #8 Christina "Am I in This?" Pepper

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah "Centipede Face" Johnson
II: Sarah "The Johnson Eliminator" Wreisner
III: Colin "Lonely Old Moon" Woolston
IV: Melissa "Not Sidebar Material" Diamond
V: Sama "No Family Reunions" Smith
VI: Sarah "Tumor Face" Wreisner

WEREWOLF (most recent)
Wolves (daneekasghost, Inkarnit and nibbish) AND Neutral (MelissaD)

Werewolf Stats Spreadsheet

I (Pure): Matthew "The Obsessor" Gilman
I (Power): Kelly "The Novak-Destroyer" Wells

I: Matt "Exploiter of Worlds" Novak (France)



Christy Bubblepumpkin
Hybrid Carlos
Lester Sweetums
May Danderfluff
The Sacred Pillow


15th. Chase Johnson (Biff Slapcheese)
14th. Aaron Felder (Johnny "The Flipper" Johnson)
13th. Patrick Volpe (Ham-Hands Brant)
12th. Eric Yickit (Dusty Rutabaga)
11th. Greg Stipp (Vance Fancy-Pance)


10th. Prisca Sandybanks
9th. Jameson Handytrousers
8th. Poppin' Fresh Gilgamesh
7th. Princess Spatula
6th. Fat Mabel


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