This was supposed to be the final challenge, so now I’ve got to think of something cool for the final challenge. That’s some pressure, but still, I think this works best with a couple more people.

There’s your empty spreadsheet (although there are examples under extra tabs).

This is one of those challenges where I came up with the backdrop first, and then had to figure out what the hell to do with it. I figured, hey, the eyes of the Easter Island statues might have mystic powers, right? Why not? So there’s your main concept: anything that can be seen by the eyes of your Easter Island statues belongs to you. You’ll place your statue on any spot on the board, and you’ll let me know which way it’s looking. So, a turn might be “A20; up right” and your statue would see all the spaces diagonally up to T1. A statue can look in the eight different directions around it.

However, another statue can block you – on the same turn or subsequent ones, if it’s in your line of sight. If there’s a statue placed at B19, all the A20 statue will see is the statue at B19, and it will no longer get credit for all the spaces it would otherwise see.

But beware: if two statues can see you, your statue is obliterated and wiped from the board, and the statue at A20 can see once again.

If two beams cross, then the spot where they cross will not count toward either total but both beams will continue after the cross.

One last strategy you can employ: if two statues are looking at one another, then no beam can cross through the double-strength beam they create. Statues creating a double-strength beam don’t gather any points for the players involved, but they are unbreakable, so no beams will ever cross the path they create.

If a statue breaks yours and is then broken itself, your statue does not come back. It’s still gone.

I’m fairly sure this is covered, but I can safely assume that there will be questions on this one, both before we begin and as we go. Please ask these before the offending situations come up, if you know they’re going to.

There will be three moves, each updated all at once at 9pm Central on the due date (unless I get them early, as always). The first due date will be Friday, then Sunday, and finally Monday. If you guys want to get one in tonight, hey, that’s even better.

There are a lot of different ways I could run this. Remind me to play with others sometime.

The person with the most points (that is, squares seen by his or her statues) at the end of three rounds will win immunity. If there’s a tie, there will be extra turns, as needed, taken only by those within the tie until a single immunity is granted.

Alright, Survivors – it’s your third to last challenge, so maybe you’ll want to work on strategy more than you did last time, eh? Though if not, at least I’ll have something to facepalm about. Cheers, Survivors.

Sneaking some time here. Damn, kids, it was quiet today.

If anyone has a hidden immunity and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so.

Millicent Gloom produces a Monster High doll, aware of the irony.

This is a hidden immunity idol, and all votes for Millie will not count. Since there weren’t any, this is not particularly significant.

Vote One: Unlimited Breadsticks.

Vote Two: Cleansed Robotics.
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“The first time we ever quarreled
you were cutting an onion
in the kitchen of our cottage”

Word limit: 215 words. Half the words as last time.  Make ‘em count!

Due Date: Monday, December 1 at 8 PM Central.

Judging: This time, DG and Kelly are judging Interrobang. DK and Pepper are judging Ampersand.

Standings Spreadsheet can be accessed here.

Well, let’s see.  Would it surprise you to learn that there were some good stories here?  How about that there were non-subs?

Both of those things are true.  DK and I actually agreed on a top story though, and it wasn’t Ian’s.

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What up, Prosers? Milkman here. This was a fairly difficult and specific-sounding prompt, and I think there was a clear divide between those who were inspired and those who felt strapped. Most of the prose was nice, but there were some pretty clear standout narratives this time around. There are a couple here that I sincerely hope will stick with me, which is a rarity these days after reading eleventy billion stories here.
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Hey, that was easy.

I’m trying to judge PwtP here too, so let’s not linger. Vote for anyone besides the highlighted person by tomorrow night at 9pm Central, and just five of you will be left.

So here’s the deal, kids. I wasn’t going to run another challenge I’d run before, but I had this challenge called “The Great Muffin Bake-Off” and I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to put it together before realizing it would’ve worked way better if I’d run it with about ten people left (which is indeed what I was going to do, but I bumped it for some reason). Because I don’t want to waste another day thinking of how to fix it, and because I want the last three challenges to sit where they are, you get this one.

In Highest Bidder, you have $1000 to spend. You’ll be bidding on points packages. These, in fact:

1 point
4 points
7 points
10 points
13 points
16 points
19 points
22 points
25 points
28 points
31 points
34 points
37 points
45 points
60 points

Eh, that’ll be enough. So you’ll place an amount on each item (it’s okay to bid nothing, and you put it in the form of dollars and cents, so you don’t have to do exact integers here).

To get the points, you have to be the highest bidder on the item. If you tie with anyone, you’ll split it evenly into fractions. The person with the most points will be immune. Easy to understand, somewhat tough to navigate, eh?

Send me a single submission with your bids by Tuesday at 9pm Central. That might end up feeling like too much time, but we’re going to be taking it easy as we pass Thanksgiving, so we’ll finish Tuesday and vote on Wednesday night. I could be persuaded into making it Monday/Tuesday if a bunch of you will already be busy on Wednesday night.

Cheers, Survivors.

I was going to wait until I had the challenge completely written, but I don’t want to make you kids sweat this any longer than you have to.

If anyone has a hidden immunity idol and would like to play it, now would be the time to do so.

Nothing. Again. Good Lord with these idols, people.

Vote One: Unlimited Breadsticks. “>>> bob.clean(‘Ulimited Breadsticks’)
>>> bob.nom_nom()”

Vote Two: Unlimited Breadsticks. “Much as it pains me, and it does, we’re going to have to limit our Breadsticks.”

Vote Three: Unlimited Breadsticks. “You’re the only Survivor I’d like to see rubbed in a light oil, but I mean that in the best way. Some parmesean, too, would be nice.”

Vote Four: Brian Bumbershaft, Theoretical Mack.
Read the rest of this entry »

I kind of liked this one, gang, despite the small amount of talking that gets done. Maybe it’s better with a bigger board and more moves? Anyway, let’s show you what happened and get to a vote.

It was a close one, but the highlighted person is immune.

Vote for anyone else by tomorrow night (Friday) at 9pm Central and in the meantime, I’ll figure out what’s next. Cheers, Survivors.


“Disremembered and unaccounted for, she cannot be lost because no one is looking for her, and even if they were, how can they call her if they don’t know her name?”

Word limit: 430 words.

Due Date: Monday, November 24 at 8 PM Central. Then we’ll have a break to give thanks for how great this season is going so far.

Judging: This week, Pepper and Kelly are judging Interrobang. DK and DG are judging Ampersand.

Standings Spreadsheet can be accessed here.

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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel "The Double-Dealer" Flynn

II: Ryan "The Snake" Fossum

III: Patrick "The Gentleman" Kozicky

IV: Brienne "The Submitter" Maner

V: Rusty "The Porn Star" Greene

VI: Brooks "The Unlikely Hero" Maki

VII: William "The Soulful" Schuth

VIII: Brooks "The Survivor" Maki

IX: Zack "The Ice Cream Man" Sauvageau

X: Pete "The Vacuum Cleaner" Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks "The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens" Maki

XI: Matt "The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er" Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy "The Quiet Man" Rustleund

XIII: Sarah "Clarence's Hope" Bizek

XIV: Dan "The Professional" Kautz

XV: Christina "Assault And" Pepper

XVI: Game On

I: Dragging Rivet's Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)

I: Brooks "Oh, for the Love of God" Maki
II: Coming Soon

Pete "An Apparently Long Title Reign" Bruzek (6/23/14)

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg "The Gallant Glutton of Greatness" Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon "Big Papa" Pope

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah "Centipede Face" Johnson
II: Sarah "The Johnson Eliminator" Wreisner
III: Colin "Lonely Old Moon" Woolston
IV: Melissa "Not Sidebar Material" Diamond
V: Sama "No Family Reunions" Smith
VI: In Progress

WEREWOLF (most recent)
Villagers (two in a row!) - bhiggum, daneekasghost, Dread Pirate, greekhouse, Grey, mbnovak, MelissaD

I (Pure): Matthew "The Obsessor" Gilman
I (Power): Kelly "The Novak-Destroyer" Wells

I: Matt "Exploiter of Worlds" Novak (France)

Spookymilk Survivor XVI


Cleansed Robotics
Farthington von Landingham III
Groovy Loaf
Millicent Gloom
Spacegirl Lucinda Wright
Unlimited Breadsticks


24th: Brandon Keel (Friar Funk) (ESV)
23rd: Geoff Beckstrom (Arrogant Fur Porter) (ESV)
22nd: Scott Stearley (A Greased Scotsman) (ML)
21st: Michael Rivet (History's Greatest Meatloaf) (ESV)
20th: Joh Galindo (Horatio Goatblower) (ML)
19th: Chris Barthule (Have at it, Gang) (ML)
18th: Alan Briggs (Francis Undergarments) (ESV)
17th: Eric Peterson (Horny O'Friendship) (ML)
16th: Dana Hazen (A Shrubbery) (ESV)
15th: Brooks Maki (Gropin' the Wind) (ESV)
14th: Joseph Rakstad (The Claw) (ML)
13th: Melissa Diamond (The Rhyming Couplet Kid) (ESV)
12th: Colin Wolfson (Brock Hardcastle)


11th: Crusty Knuckles
10th: Jerky Smuggler
9th: Thumbtack, Jr.
8th: Radical Cabbage
7th: Brian Bumbershaft, Theoretical Mack


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