We’ve reached the end! Who’s the fairest of them all? Sorry about that atrocious opening, gang. I just want to post this, and the writers are antsy to find out what happened.
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Well, folks, after that clusterfudge that went a few days longer than anticipated, we have our elimination. Your results page is right here.

The elimination, below the jump:
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Final four! Congratulations. How did it go? The writers definitely trusted us to connect some dots, and I appreciate the risks taken, which are in keeping with the entire season to this point.

Some paid off more than others. Read on, bitches!
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Snatch Results.

So, in a post-Brooks world, do I even care anymore? Eh, I suppose I’ll keep the game going. This one, as you know, is Linkbusters. Here’s a spreadsheet. This isn’t really a spreadsheet challenge, but it’s best updated with one. Your job is to break the links of those on your side and be the last God or Mortal standing. Each day, you’ll break two links, so a move would look like this:

Artichoke Dip-Acid Rain

I would go through and break the links where those pairs are found on your half (if you’re a God and make those moves, they will not affect Mortals, and vice versa. You’re just on the same sheet because you fit). The priority order of link-breaking will be from top to bottom on that sheet, and then bottom to top, so each day is a snake draft-type thing. All moves will be completed even if someone has been eliminated, and the elimination order determines Gods and Mortals points. If you break Morley-Quadrophenia, it would break that link no matter if the other person put Morley on the left or the right. They just have to be together. It’s a pretty simple game, I think.

At the end of each day, I’ll update everything at once, and the only names on the board I’ll reveal are the ones that have had links broken on both sides (or just the one, if they’re on the end). The second sheet on the spreadsheet will show you which links were broken, though not by whom. It’s safe to lie again!

And here’s the other big thing: you’ll make moves even after you’re eliminated. Exiting early might mean you want to attack someone specifically, and you’ll be able to do that.

There are only 36 possible links and each side will break 16 a day. Overlap could extend this challenge, but I’m guessing not by much (I’m hoping).

Deadlines will be Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. If this appears to be going longer, I may skip the weekend, but I’m trying to stay on a schedule here if possible. Put questions here.

Here it is, gang. I went all meta and acted the rebel by taking a day longer than usual. What am I rebelling against? What have you got?

These four stories were very, very different, and for that I’m grateful.
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Why would I put this up on a Sunday? I don’t know, but here we are. I scheduled out Gods and Mortals, and I’m pretty sure the final challenge will start on May 2nd. While that’s the only challenge in the season with an undefined endpoint, the fact is that although we have nine teams left, this is going to go very, very quickly.

That means writing Survivor, wooooooooooooooooooo
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“Snatch” doesn’t have any alternate meanings, does it? Alright, good.

Shamrock Drop results.

I had a couple other challenges in mind for this one, but somehow still ended up with an open spot, and had to shuffle a couple back due to the vacation of a Mortal (I’m not always so accommodating. I must be getting old).
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You guys decided to go out on a goofy note. I suppose that’s my fault…when I set a prompt, people take the “unlikely” approach and have a way of being predictable by conforming to nonconformity. It did have a way, though, of making this a fun and easy read, even if I can’t say it was the “best” week we’ve had all season. Shut up and get to the playoff scenarios, Kelly. Fine, fine.
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Here be your link to Critical Mass results. I got a lot of rave reviews on that one, so if you loved it, great, and if you phoned it in and disengaged thinking it would be too hard, you are pathetic and nobody loves you.

Well, that might be a bit of an oversell. Anyway, we’ve bid adieu to Bret and Le Poperino, and we now move on to one of those challenges where I thought of the name first and figured out a way to turn it into a game. Yeah, phrases like “Shamrock Drop” just get stuck in my head, and I cannot be well until I figure out how to use them.

You’ll notice that there’s only one board this time, for both Gods and Mortals. This one will stretch you out a little, and ask you to make a decision on how much you want to help your teammate without giving everything away.

Submission on this one couldn’t be simpler: each person has seven Shamrocks to drop into empty spaces on the board (when you’re ready, just send me the seven coordinates). You want to be bordering as many Shamrocks as possible. However, you cannot set down a Shamrock on a space that borders one of your own spaces, so those are deals that you have to make with other people. If you attempt to do so, you will be assessed a five-Shamrock penalty (although anyone else bordering that Shamrock will still get the point).

Of course, this means that you can power up your partner, if you want. This is absolutely permissible. You’ll have to decide what to do there.

You will still only be scored against your fellow Gods or Mortals, as such: 20-10-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1.

Your coordinates are due Thursday night at 9pm Central. Note that this is only two days away, which is a necessity of the schedule for a myriad of boring reasons. That’s me double-booking myself once again, but one of the other PwtP judges won’t be able to do his thing until the next morning anyway, so I’ll be able to update this first without guilt.


Well, everyone, this one was difficult. There was much to like throughout and it’s as tough a time I’ve had scoring just about ever. With just one week after this to pull yourself into the playoffs, who pulled it off? It’s kind of a mess, because there were so many great stories, they sort of held each other back from getting great scores.
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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel "The Double-Dealer" Flynn

II: Ryan "The Snake" Fossum

III: Patrick "The Gentleman" Kozicky

IV: Brienne "The Submitter" Maner

V: Rusty "The Porn Star" Greene

VI: Brooks "The Unlikely Hero" Maki

VII: William "The Soulful" Schuth

VIII: Brooks "The Survivor" Maki

IX: Zack "The Ice Cream Man" Sauvageau

X: Pete "The Vacuum Cleaner" Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks "The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens" Maki

XI: Matt "The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er" Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy "The Quiet Man" Rustleund

XIII: Sarah "Clarence's Hope" Bizek

XIV: Dan "The Professional" Kautz

XV: Coming Soon

In Progress

I: Brooks "Oh, for the Love of God" Maki

Brooks "The Sidebar" Maki (12/4/13)

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg "The Gallant Glutton of Greatness" Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon "Big Papa" Pope

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah "Centipede Face" Johnson
II: Sarah "The Johnson Eliminator" Wreisner
III: Colin "Lonely Old Moon" Woolston
IV: Melissa "Not Sidebar Material" Diamond
V: Sama "No Family Reunions" Smith

WEREWOLF (most recent)
Villagers (two in a row!) - bhiggum, daneekasghost, Dread Pirate, greekhouse, Grey, mbnovak, MelissaD

I (Pure): Matthew "The Obsessor" Gilman
I (Power): Kelly "The Novak-Destroyer" Wells

I: Matt "Exploiter of Worlds" Novak (France)



Artisan Gravy
Boby Joens, Spelling Champion
Fudge and Heartache
Habib Johnson
Mustard Flood
Ralph, in Pog Form


Blandy Lonestar
Friph Flipher-Fiph
Hamster Fabulous
Harmonica Smiff
Legless Dogs
The Sausage Link Kid
Who Got Da Booty


11th: Swollen and Stretchy. Hurricane Gumby (Bret Highum) and A Case of the Dropsies (Jonathon Pope)
10th: One Hell of a Stromboli. Shelly, Who's Also a Fern (Pete Bruzek) and Briffany Lobsterworthy (Cathy Wells)
9th: Pusillanimosity. Botched Corndog (Brooks Maki) and Lattifer Gruffins (Chris Dykhoff)
8th: The Cure. Pufferfish Wilson (Annette Barron) and Horatio Goat Disease (Matthew Morin)


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