Here we are, Survivors. Who’s up for an exciting elimination?! Well, you can safely ignore this one, which is the opposite of that. But hey, the challenge is here too!

Vote One: Friar Funk. (his own)

Vote Two: Friar Funk.

Vote Three: Friar Funk.

Vote Four: Friar Funk.
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It was a good game, as you know. A really good game. I had a good reason for wanting to finish with a winning team, though I admit if I’d thought there would be exactly one nonsub on each team from the beginning, I would have allowed a draw at Friday’s end.

But I didn’t, and there was no draw.
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Hey there, Survivors. While you get your final moves together with excruciating slowness, I wanted to make a post for new players to let them know what they’ve gotten into, and how things work step by step, and I’ll try not to leave anything out. If you’re either a new or shitty player, keep reading. If not, you’re free to skip the the part about Cursed Immunity Idols unless you’re convinced I drop hints about idols or upcoming challenges in here anywhere.

OH! On talking: It only happens at Diplochat. Do not use your email for conversations. If someone attempts to talk to you secretly this way and you forward it to me, I’ll give them one warning and, if they do it again, I’ll mod-kill them and take them out of the game.

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What a season, gang. Sort of. The pre-merge stands as one of the best ever, and the post-merge stands as…one of the most predictable ever, from the outside. Players suddenly had an aversion to improving their lots, it seemed, by doing anything at all besides writing. However, there were still a few players who played some strong post-merge games. Let’s see which of these folks was considered to be one of them.

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Hey, I could do this from work!

Here are your results.

Team *Maniacal Laughter* managed three kills! That’s pretty exciting, yeah?

Team Enthusiastic Sexual Violins managed three as well, though, so it’s a wash.

To the 18 remaining folks: have a move for me by tomorrow at 9pm Central and remember that you’re all required to send your own. All moves happen at once, so a villager can intentionally move into a Sasquatch’s line of sight if he believes the Sasquatch will move elsewhere.

I have to get closing this store, but if you have questions, send them my way.

Edit: Corpses are just shown so players can see how it happened. These are not “blocked” spaces and living players may use them. I’ll remove the corpses upon the next turn’s results.


Six more deaths! One nonsub on each team. The Violins killed one of their enemies. Laughter killed two enemies, but one friend to tie it at five villagers each. Snap!

We’re here! I’m fielding questions and moves from Survivor XVI players, though, so let’s dispense with the long opening and save it all for the winner announcement tomorrow night.

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Pete Bruzek
I love how you think up a grouping of words and decide to make make a game out of it. It’s like “Marco Polo Sasquatch” should be a game, how is it not a game yet? And ten minutes later, it’s a game that four people play on a spreadsheet.

Weeeeellllll, challenge accepted, Mr. nibbish.

Before we get to the challenge (surprise!!! The game has started), let’s talk about naming your teams.
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Erik and Pepper, here you go. Answer these and add anything else you want in a plea not to exceed 1000 words. There will be no word limit on responses to questions, as I trust you both know the line between explanation and logorrhea. Fun Fact: Chrome is not smart enough to know the word “logorrhea.” Maybe that’s an intentional thing on their part to eradicate it. OOOOHHHH, META

Should I get to the questions? I should get to the questions.

For Erik

When you started this game, who were your final 5, 4, 3 and 2? Is that how the game turned out? If not, what happened along the way to change your plans?

What would you consider to be your pivotal strategic move this season that got you to the finals?

Given her immunity run, do you regret not eliminating Christina with five players left? Why do you think you deserve to win more than Christina?

Were you loyal to Christina throughout the game, or did you consider (and/or act on) getting rid of her at any point?

What do you consider to be your greatest moment as far as your writing goes?

For Christina

When you started this game, who were your final 5, 4, 3 and 2? Is that how the game turned out? If not, what happened along the way to change your plans?

What would you consider to be your pivotal move this season that got you to the finals?

Were you loyal to Erik throughout the game, or did you consider (and/or act on) getting rid of him at any point?

Why do you think you deserve to win more than Erik?

What do you consider to be your greatest moment as far as your writing goes?


There you go. Have at it, finalists. I want these by tomorrow night by…really late because I’ll be at a Diamondbacks game unless you ask for more.

It’s time for the final vote of the season, folks. Uh, the final vote that doesn’t involve the jury. Except for the fact that the votee becomes a juror. You know what? You know what’s f*&^ing going on, so stop expecting me to hold your hands through this. Let’s get to it.

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Alright, Survivors. We laughed, we cried…well, did we cry? Maybe once or twice. It’s tough to get there. Let’s move on. We did our yearly Brooks-inspired finale, and as was true all season long, the concepts worked. Each story could have used punching up (all in different ways) but each was satisfying in various ways as well. Though this won’t go down as the best final ever – season VIII has that distinction – it was a fun ride and a fair ending to a shockingly well-attended season (though Leif’s nonsub, as we know now, had far-reaching implications).

Let’s do this, Survivors. Game faces.
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Your competition, and also you



I: Rachel "The Double-Dealer" Flynn

II: Ryan "The Snake" Fossum

III: Patrick "The Gentleman" Kozicky

IV: Brienne "The Submitter" Maner

V: Rusty "The Porn Star" Greene

VI: Brooks "The Unlikely Hero" Maki

VII: William "The Soulful" Schuth

VIII: Brooks "The Survivor" Maki

IX: Zack "The Ice Cream Man" Sauvageau

X: Pete "The Vacuum Cleaner" Bruzek

Turbo: Brooks "The 1956-1979 Montreal Canadiens" Maki

XI: Matt "The Cold-Hearted Motherf*&^er" Novak

All-Stars (XII): Andy "The Quiet Man" Rustleund

XIII: Sarah "Clarence's Hope" Bizek

XIV: Dan "The Professional" Kautz

XV: Christina "Assault And" Pepper

XVI: Game On

I: Dragging Rivet's Name Through the Mud One Last Time: Matt Novak (Ultragrandpa) and Michael Rivet (Friph Flipher-Fiph)

I: Brooks "Oh, for the Love of God" Maki

Pete "The Already Eliminated from Survivor" Bruzek (6/23/14)

Link to the Cutthroat Junction site. Over there, we do once-a-month strategic mega-games while the champion defends his title in a one-on-one. Head over to see how it works.

2013: #21 Greg "The Gallant Glutton of Greatness" Johnson
2014: #29 Jonathon "Big Papa" Pope

(Writing, non-elimination)
I: Sarah "Centipede Face" Johnson
II: Sarah "The Johnson Eliminator" Wreisner
III: Colin "Lonely Old Moon" Woolston
IV: Melissa "Not Sidebar Material" Diamond
V: Sama "No Family Reunions" Smith

WEREWOLF (most recent)
Villagers (two in a row!) - bhiggum, daneekasghost, Dread Pirate, greekhouse, Grey, mbnovak, MelissaD

I (Pure): Matthew "The Obsessor" Gilman
I (Power): Kelly "The Novak-Destroyer" Wells

I: Matt "Exploiter of Worlds" Novak (France)

Spookymilk Survivor XV


Christina Pepper

Spookymilk Survivor XVI


Arrogant Fur Porter
Brian Bumbershaft, Theoretical Mack
Brock Hardcastle
Crusty Knuckles
Francis Undergarments
Gropin' the Wind
History's Greatest Meatloaf
Jerky Smuggler
The Rhyming Couplet Kid
A Shrubbery
Spacegirl Lucinda Wright


The Claw
Cleansed Robotics
Farthington von Landingham III
A Greased Scotsman
Groovy Loaf
Have at it, Gang
Horatio Goatblower
Horny O'Friendship
Millicent Gloom
Radical Cabbage
Thumbtack, Jr.
Unlimited Breadsticks


24th: Brandon Keel (Friar Funk)


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