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Okay, weinerheads. Only two of the four people sent stuff (I had high hopes that Kelly Jo would find a camera, but it apparently didn’t happen. And Ryan? No idea, homeslice).
These are the links to the others:
Tara (you may have to register with Snapfish–it’s free–to see them): http://www2.snapfish.com/share/p=916111181609871116/l=273422367/g=97617948/otsc=SYE/otsi=SALB
Perry: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=69391540&albumId=960816
Here’s the thing: I wasn’t too stringent about the rules–for instance, with the black minivan, the blackness of one of them is debateable and the mini-ness of the other is debateable. But the score wasn’t necessarily that close, as one person mentioned they only had the camera for one day.
Know what I love about this one? It’s tough to do for you guys, but super-fantastically easy for me to score.
Funny things that happened:
Perry, indeed, photographed himself “getting it on” in the Burger King bathroom. Hopefully, you all know the song I’m referencing here.
Perry took a picture of a guy who could play Santa Claus, but wasn’t in the picture himself, so no points. Tara took a picture of an Edmund Jones instead of a Mike Jones (gravestone), and I didn’t give points there either.
For the Washington Driver’s License, Tara sent me a picture of a license plate. D’oh!
Nobody gave me a picture of a red-haired Hooter’s waitress. This makes me very sad. Also, it would appear nobody even attempted to get Renee and Patrick naked, nor to get to the moon.
Anyway, refer to the list if you want to, but the score is:
Tara 33, Perry 20
Immunity Winner: Tara Kinney …oops, almost wrote “Johnson.” Old habits die hard, I guess.
Y’all have until Friday morning when I wake up to make your next elimination for anyone but Tara. The final challenge will be a one-weeker, but as you’ll see when I post it, I’ll be safeguarding against non-entries pretty fiercely (don’t worry, you don’t need a camera or anything; you already have everything you need).
Cheers, and there’s just a week or so left.
Final Challenge Teaser: “Friar’s Club”
Ladies and Gentlemen, meet the Jury.
The Jury will determine who wins this game, and will consist of the last three people eliminated before the final two. In other words, today’s elimination will be the first member of the much-smaller-this-year jury.
Why a small jury this year? Well, ’cause last year, some of the people who had been gone for quite a while didn’t really pay much attention anymore and hadn’t been around long enough to see the strategy of the finalists. I believe the right person won, but I still think I should keep it more exclusive this year.
Plus, I forgot to mention the Jury until now. So there’s that.
Anyway, let’s read the votes:
Vote One: Rachel Flynn. “She is my favorite.” I don’t know what that means, but okay.
Vote Two: Perry Thrun.
Vote Three: Rachel Flynn.
Vote Four: Kelly Jo Ernst.
Vote Five: Rachel Flynn. “Sorry….you won last season’s survivor — can’t have you winning again. ;)”
Eleventh Person Eliminated from Kellyspace Survivor: Rachel Flynn
Do you know what this is? It’s totally like the death of Superman. Last year when Rachel decided to join the first game, I didn’t immediately consider her one of the favorites to win because she didn’t know a lot of people and I largely underestimated her networking skills. She so totally dominated the first Kellyspace Survivor it was scary; I had picked Sam Fronek as my most likely winner, but when Sam went down in second place, I wasn’t surprised by that point.
Rachel saw 25 eliminations of other people in this game before her own number finally came up. I can’t imagine the game without her.
So I’m quitting.
Okay, just kidding. I’m over it and living in the now! So here’s the challenge, my faithful final four.
A Thousand Words: Part IV
It’s called part four because last year I had three separate challenges that were all known as “A Thousand Words,” all for different reasons. But this year, it’s called that for pretty much the same reason as last year: it’s about pictures (get it? ’cause a picture’s worth a thousand words?)
I was told by the people who made the final four last year that the photo scavenger hunt was one of their favorite challenges of the whole game, so it’s returning in the same position. The best way for you to get them to me is to host them on yahoo or snapfish or something, but if you need to send me a zip file, that works too. Just let me know how you’ll be doing it.
Now, last year I had two sections: one was just a hunt (if you got the picture, you got the points), and the other was a thing where I provided a caption that you took a picture for (the best one got the points). This time I’m eliminating the caption–if that was a mistake, I apologize–because then I won’t have to worry about being objective. Trust me, I’ll be worrying about that during the next and final challenge.
For each of these, just take the picture and you get the number of points in parentheses. When you send/post your pictures, the title of each photo can simply be the number of the photo. Does that ugly sentence make sense?
I’ll explain tiebreakers below, because controversy sucks when we get this late.
Also, if there’s an asterisk, you must be in the photo as well.
1 You giving, or receiving, a zerbert/raspberry (1)
2 A stack of Dr. Seuss books (four constitutes a stack) (1)
3 A bird’s nest that would be safer somewhere else (1)
4 A blue silo (1)
5 A misspelling or grammatical error on a sign in a store (1)
6 A Burger King bathroom (double points if you’re “getting it on”) (1)
7 A can of Dr. Pepper Berries & Cream
8 An already-eliminated Survivor* (2)
9 A fire extinguisher in a high school science room* (2)
10 A green road sign with the letters K, E, L, L and Y (there must be two Ls, but none of that has to be in order and it’s not case sensitive) (2)
11 A backyard barbecue (2)
12 A black minivan (3)
13 Kelly Wells (me) playing Wii (3)
14 Kelly Wells (the porn star) playing Wii (7)
15 A red-haired waitress at Hooter’s* (3)
16 A pink house (3)
17 The Carl’s Jr. star mascot (3)
18 You riding the mechanical bull* (4)
19 Roadside Mile Marker 25 (4)
20 A Hindu Temple (4)
21 A guy who could play Santa* (4)
22 A girl/woman in a Sari (4)
23 A gravestone for someone named Mike/Michael Jones (4)
24 A water tower with a missing letter (5)
25 An Alaska license plate (5)
26 A Washington Driver’s License (5)
27 Minnesota Twin Pat Neshek* (double points if he’s holding a sign that says “Kellyspace Survivor rules”) (6)
28 WWE referee Mike Chioda* (7)
29 Renee Roy or Patrick McIntyre naked (double points if both together) (25)
30 You standing in the Sea of Tranquility on the moon* (25)
Easy enough, right? No? Yeah, I know. I made them tough this year. Hence, for the last time (obviously, since there’s only one challenge after this), you have almost two weeks. Have these in by Wednesday, June 13th when I wake up and I’ll score the living hell out of them. Questions can go here, homies.
Cheers!
Rachel’s are here: http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?mode=fromshare&conn_speed=1&Uc=gcfib38.1wmklr8c&Uy=ltwa1z&Ux=1
Cathy’s are here: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/catthorne/album?.dir=/6d13re2&.src=ph&.tok=phex0kFBdAWRHJkr
Sam’s were sent in a zip file, which is all well and good for sizing, but also means I can’t put them on a hosting site. If you want to see them, I’ll send them to you.
And then there’s Josh. He didn’t do any.
Okay, here’s the results of who got each of the first sixteen filled:
1 A limo: Rachel
2 A fire hydrant next to an oak tree: Cathy, Rachel
3 Someone sleeping in public: Cathy, Rachel, Sam
4 A red car with a female driver: Cathy, Rachel
5 A tombstone with the name “Olson”: Cathy, Rachel
6 A child with a stuffed animal: Cathy, Rachel
7 The Galactic Pizza delivery “car”: Rachel
8 Someone eating sushi. : Rachel
9 A green car parked in front of McDonald’s: Cathy, Rachel
10 A grown man under five feet tall: Cathy, Rachel Note: check out Cathy’s; he’s a guy who was born with no arms or legs. Apparently, he’s known in Austin, Texas as “the karaoke guy.” That guy must be one hell of a good singer to have no limbs and have a nickname that doesn’t incorporate that fact. I wish I could’ve heard him sing.
11 A very large man of over 40 wearing a pink shirt: Cathy, Rachel
12 At least six cows in one photo: Cathy, Rachel
13 Any recognizable Minnesota sports figure or professional wrestler; you must be in the photo with them: Cathy (Justin Morneau), Rachel (Joe Nathan). Now, I totally got served on this one. Cathy’s part in the photo is only her shoulder, which I know is hers only because I took the picture. Rachel’s is even funnier. Either way, it’s cool with me, because I love both those guys and am happy to have them in the game. Welcome, guys!
14 A sign in a store with either a misspelling or bad grammar: Cathy (Tom Yorke instead of Thom Yorke), Rachel (“Please no touch her”, referring to a Pewter statue of a female warrior). That sounds like ESL, I would imagine.
15 A kid who looks like either Harry Potter or Hermione Granger (from the movies): Rachel (the picture is Emily from Cannibal!. I never would’ve thought of it, but huh. Yep. Emily=Emma.
16 A goth kid giving two thumbs up: Cathy gets 1/2 point. The kid is giving one thumb up. This could just as easily be worth no points, but in my semi-drunken sun-soaked Austin City Limits countenance, I said I’d give her that. Oh well. Rachel gets a full point, but I should probably give her several. I’m not going to, but don’t worry, the scores don’t end up as such that it will matter.
After the 16 “fill the requirement” photos, it’s Rachel 16, Cathy 11 and 1/2, and Sam with 1.
17 “Size does matter”: All three girls fit the picture. All were pretty good, but I went with Cathy’s (if you don’t see why, read the guy’s shirt).
18 “This is not what I expected to see first thing in the morning.”: Filled by all. Cathy’s is the first instance of her getting in trouble for a picture of me being included (no, not really, but I look pretty damn stupid). Rachel’s is hilarious, though obviously posed for the game. Sam’s is also hilarious (and dirty), and although it wasn’t posed for the game, it was definitely posed. So who wins? Hell, I don’t even know which I like better. I’ll say this one’s a wash. Points for none!
19 “Sometimes, a little lube goes a long way.”: Filled by Sam and Rachel. I’ll go with Sam here.
20 “I know I asked you to bring me some food, but this is ridiculous.”: Filled by all, and all very different. I like Sam’s, though, because it’s absolute insanity. She only needs 13 points in the last 10 pictures to force a tie! Oh, wait.
21 “That cat does NOT know what it’s in for.”: Filled by all. They’re all funny/cute, but Sam’s is also beautifully dark, so hers gets the point.
22 “The best way to scratch an itch.”: That’s my insane mother-in-law scratching her back with a rake. Rachel’s is funny too, but Sam gets yet another point for using this hilarious picture and bringing Bob and Ben back into the game.
23 “Something tells me that he didn’t want us to see that.”: All three of these are pretty sweet too, but Cathy’s is my favorite. Rachel’s is very different, and I agonized over this one.
24 “It was like that when I got here!”: Filled by all. I don’t know who that girl in Sam’s picture is, but that picture is damn funny; the picture of my daughter, though, is one of my favorite of her and also fits perfectly. Point for Cathy.
25 “Did you mean to do that?”: This is the first instance of someone other than Cathy using a picture of me, as Rachel uses one from Mari’s birthday party. Cathy used my intense dislike of full-size cardboard cutouts and my hatred of John Wayne. Sam’s is a picture I’ve seen before, but is very sweet. I’ll go with Sam’s again.
26 “Excuse me, I believe I ordered a large.”: Cathy was going to take a picture of the enormous Heineken balloon outside the ACL park, but forgot. It would’ve been awesome, but still wouldn’t have beat Sam’s perfect entry. Rachel’s is very unorthodox and cute, and I wish she and Cathy weren’t being so soundly defeated in the caption ones because their stuff is really good. Oh well.
Score with four left: Rachel 16, Cathy 14 and 1/2, Sam 7.
27 “You’re fired.”: Ooh! That one’s Rachel’s, no question. Check out that crazy evil-looking picture of Mari at one month old, though.
28 “I’d like to have your vote in November.”: Oh boy, there’s another definite point for Rachel. The others are fun as well (the picture of me, another fairly old one, is pretty funny).
29 “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”: Impressively, two babies were used in this one; the baby carrying a hammer in Rachel’s isn’t too imposing otherwise, nor is Mari with the branch-thing she’s holding (you should look at that one, though, it’s a great one I’d forgotten all about). Sam’s is just really cool, and it gets the point.
30 “Please, honey! Not in public.”: I really don’t want to get shut out in another picture I’m in, because that picture is really funny and I look like a total douchebag, but Sam’s fits the caption best. God, she kicked so much ass on these that it’s a shame she didn’t get more of the first 16.
Final score: Rachel 18, Cathy 14 and 1/2, Sam 9.
Immune: Rachel Flynn
‘member when I said that whole goth thing didn’t matter? I bet you think that’s because Rachel won immunity. But it’s actually because Josh Mitchell has decided to eliminate himself, citing his inability to consistently keep up with the game and the game’s sheer length. That’s odd to me considering there’s only one challenge left, but that’s where it’s at. The men, not long ago largely outnumbering the women in this game, have all been eliminated. Very important note: Josh said this a few days ago, and if he suddenly changes his tune, I’ll say so. But he’d probably be voted out anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.
Flynn. Fronek. Wells. You three are the biggest of all KAWK Monkeys.
Challenge 13, the final challenge, is soon to follow. It’s called A Thousand Words: Part III, and I hope you didn’t start writing it based on Josh’s original pitch, because I made a couple very important changes to it. You’ll hate me. Cheers.
1 A limo
2 A fire hydrant next to an oak tree
3 Someone sleeping in public
4 A red car with a female driver
5 A tombstone with the name “Olson”.
6 A child with a stuffed animal
7 The Galactic Pizza delivery “car”.
8 Someone eating sushi.
9 A green car parked in front of McDonald’s
10 A grown man under five feet tall
11 A very large man of over 40 wearing a pink shirt
12 At least six cows in one photo
13 Any recognizeable Minnesota sports figure or professional wrestler; you must be in the photo with them
14 A sign in a store with either a misspelling or bad grammar
15 A kid who looks like either Harry Potter or Hermione Granger (from the movies)
16 A goth kid giving two thumbs up
17 “Size does matter”
18 “This is not what I expected to see first thing in the morning”
19 “Sometimes, a little lube goes a long way”
20 “I know I asked you to bring me some food, but this is ridiculous”
21 “That cat does NOT know what it’s in for”
22 “The best way to scratch an itch”
23 “Something tells me that he didn’t want us to see that”
24 “It was like that when I got here!”
25 “Did you mean to do that?”
26 “Excuse me, I believe I ordered a large.”
27 “You’re fired.”
28 “I’d like to have your vote in November.”
29 “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
30 “Please, honey! Not in public.”
Also: for the first sixteen, it must be obvious that you took them and didn’t find them on the internet or something. If I catch that, I’ll eliminate your ass in cold blood.
As for the last fourteen, if you need to pose something to fulfill the photo, that’s fine, but only one person will get a point for each of the caption ones, and unposed things will always trump the posed ones. Make sense? Groovy.
And one last thing: don’t ever fly Delta. That’s all.
As always, direct questions to the blog, and you have until September 28th to do these. That’s a long while.
Casa de Leche 
Things you said